Soul Mates
by Lady-Rinoa14
Summary: COMPLETE. 1 x R. Canon. "Do you believe in soulmates, Heero?" asked Relena. He said "No" back then. But now for the first time in his life, Heero Yuy is starting to believe in fate.
1. Do you believe in soulmates?

**Soul Mates**

******Chapter 1: Do you believe in soulmates?**  


_"Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person."_

_~Richard Bach_

* * *

It was raining hard outside even though it was in the afternoon. The blinds were pulled down and the lights were turned off. No light emanated from the room as the former Gundam Pilot Heero Yuy blankly stared at the ceiling as he lay on his bed, hands behind his head... alone.

How he despised these dark, rainy days. He would be stuck in his room all day because of the suspension of classes in his home Colony of L1, leaving him with nothing to do. After he and Relena parted ways a year ago, he came back to his home Colony to start life anew. He enrolled in college to earn a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science, while he worked at a nearby automobile shop just so he could apply his skills into doing something useful.

It had been a year since he left Earth... left her. It wasn't as if he left without a word just like what he often did in the past during the war. This time, he and Relena had talked over things and had a clean break up. Relena understood his needs to leave Earth and start life anew where he was born and raised, or so he thought. It was what he thought of as his home.

But why did it feel like he was still a stranger in his own pad?

The only sound that can be heard in his room was the television that was turned on in front of his bed. It was currently on a news channel, just in case _she _would be on the news. Even though they parted ways, he still kept track of her.

A year after their parting, Heero thought Relena still looked the same whenever he would watch her on the news or on a live coverage of her speeches with her diplomat uniform. _Still beautiful and elegant._ But lately her hair wasn't tied in a ponytail like usual. For the past few months, Heero noticed that she had been having those braids that he was used to seeing when they were fifteen years old - it always reminded him of the Relena who found him at the beach, the Relena who he threatened to kill, and the Relena who he swore to protect. Looking back on their past, Heero again pondered on Relena's question. _Do you believe in soulmates, Heero?_

And suddenly, he closed his eyes as the unwanted memory played in his mind.

"_Do you believe in soul mates, Heero?" asked Relena as she arranged the roses in the vase, cutting the stems at the end of each blood red flower before placing them inside their glass prison on the bedside table._

_The two were in Heero's room in her mansion. It was one of the few occasions when the Vice Foreign Minister would decide on herself to add something in his room, aside from the usual bed and desk. Plus, their garden had already been having too much roses lately._

_It had already been two years since the Barton uprising, Heero had joined the Preventers and was assigned to be the head of Relena's security team. Of course, it didn't take long before the two started a relationship. Everybody who had been with the two during the Eve Wars knew that the two had feelings for each other. It was only a question of when would Heero admit it to himself and to Relena per se._

_The Peacecraft princess knew that this was something new to the both of them, especially to Heero. She still had her doubts if they can work it out or not, given the circumstances that she was a politician and he was a former Gundam pilot who knew nothing about life but fighting. Amazingly, Heero had shown that he was determined to adjust to this new lifestyle. It was hard, but he was trying. Relena, on the other hand, tried to understand his situation very well. And as painful as it may sound, she was readying herself to let him go if ever he decided to leave._

"_No," replied Heero while seated at the edge of his bed, typing on his laptop placed on a foldable table._

"_Not even in destiny?" asked Relena as she cut one more stem._

"_Not even," said Heero, not removing his eyes from the laptop screen and not stopping from typing. Why was she suddenly asking this?_

"_Really? Why so?"_

_This time, Heero stopped typing but his gaze retained on the screen. Why? "I don't believe in destiny or fate because man is responsible in creating his own destiny. I don't believe that everything is happening because some magical deity planned this. Just like the war... The war began because of the greed of OZ. It was their choice. And everyone acted and fought no matter what their reasons were. It was their choices."_

_How about you, Heero? Were you given a choice? Would you have preferred to not have fought at all? Relena suddenly felt guilty about asking in the first place. She knew it still pained Heero to talk about the war, especially his participation in it as one of those who "fought no matter what their reasons were." He had lost his parents during the war, how could he live peacefully? In war, it's always kill or be killed. The war invited him in and he accepted it. It was true that he was given options before the war, he could've said refused piloting the Gundam. But the options that were laid down in front of him were far too cruel for a child._

_After arranging the roses, Relena sat down beside him. "I know it's very unlikely of me to say this but... I'm glad that the war happened."_

_Upon hearing her statement, Heero immediately stopped typing and turned to her. His eyes questioning her, almost demanding her to explain. How could his Relena who had been fighting for peace without bloodshed and disapproving of any weapons of destruction possibly say this?_

_She just had to laugh at the reaction of her boyfriend to her statement. Relena waved her hand trying to take back what she said. "I know it sounded wrong. But no, I'm not glad for whatever reason you have in mind."_

_Heero's expression still did not change._

_Sensing his need for an explanation, Relena reached out to him and wrapped her arm around his and leaned her head on his shoulder. "This may sound silly, but I'm glad that the war happened because I got to meet you."_

"_Hn." _

"_Think about it. If Operation Meteor hadn't been planned, nor the assassination of the first Heero Yuy, I wouldn't have seen you unconscious on that beach," said Relena, clutching Heero's arm tighter._

"_And I wouldn't have threatened you." Heero felt remorseful. It was something that he regretted and tried really hard to forget. Sometimes he would laugh bitterly at the irony of him threatening and attempting to kill Relena several times in the times, and then ended up entering in a relationship with her. How could he?_

"_I know." Relena, on the other hand, laughed at that irony without bitterness. "It's alright, Heero. I'm still alive now. And it's all because of you."_

_She broke free from his arm and sat upright to look at him in the eyes. "Didn't it cross your mind that it was because of destiny that we met?"_

_Heero thought about what he said earlier. Destiny. Whose choice was it for them to meet? OZ? The Alliance? Her? No, it was something else. Was that what she was thinking?_

_Relena continued. "And even during the war. You kept on leaving, but we end up seeing each other again countless times. Was it still in our hands?"_

_Heero pondered on Relena's thoughts. Of course they were to meet each other again. Relena had been born a Peacecraft – from a monarchy that advocated peace. If she's not a Peacecraft, then she was still a Darlian, who also served as a mediator between Earth and the Colonies. He, on the other hand, was a soldier who fought in the war. Of course, it was inevitable for them to encounter each other during the war. They were born as part of it. But then again, was it their decision? They had been born that way. Did they plan it? Did they plan their encounters? He was beginning to understand Relena's point now. But for him to believe in destiny completely?_

_He snapped out of his thoughts when Relena chuckled. "We're soulmates, Heero." She held his hands._

"_We were fifteen years old then, Relena. Do you think anyone can find their soulmates at fifteen?" he snapped back._

_For the first time that day, Heero wanted to hit himself and take back what he said when he saw her frown. How he hated failing her. But was he supposed to say? That he did believe in destiny? It still wasn't what he believed in, but he didn't want to upset her further either. He didn't know what to say at a time like this, so he only relied on the only principle that he followed: Act on your emotions._

_And act to his emotions he did when he leaned down and kissed her._

Heero opened his eyes when another thunder resounded from outside. It was the last time that they kissed before they talked, and eventually before he left. Relena said she understood him well. But did she really? Why didn't she even stop him? How did she manage to smile at him when she waved at him to say goodbye? Moreover, why did she agree that they can still remain as friends?

The former Gundam Pilot instantly sat upright when he heard the mention of Relena's name on the news. Heero reached for the remote on his bedside table and increased the volume of the television. He saw Relena take a step from the escalator being hounded by reporters everywhere. The headline said that she would be taking part in a conference of diplomats scheduled to be held on the L1 Colony next week.

She would be coming to his Colony. He would see her again. Was this also fate's plan? For the first time in his life, he really thought about believing in fate. _Fate brings together those who are meant to be, _Relena's words before they parted echoed in his mind. _Our first encounter was chance. Our second meeting was destiny. _If there really was such thing as fate, destiny, or whatever, if this would be his chance to see her again, he would take it. He wouldn't let this opportunity be put to waste.

He turned off the television when Relena's face was no longer featured on the news.

_I'll see you next week... finally._

* * *

**Author's Note: **Since I'm a strong believer of destiny, I thought that I should write a story about it in the universe of Gundam Wing. I love destiny, I love 1 x R, so of course this is what comes out :)

I have few more chapters in store for this story, so please stay tuned. ^_^

Btw, credits time! The line I used "Our first encounter was chance. Our second meeting was destiny" was from the third episode of the Japanese drama "Akai Ito."

Until the next update! Don't forget to leave a review. Ciao! ^_^


	2. Unwanted Memories

**Chapter 2: Unwanted Memories**

"_I went to see you, pretending it was coincidence__  
__That fleeting love__  
__You still haven't changed__  
__I want to erase__  
__That shattered kiss when I tried to be an adult, but__  
__I can not, I can not__  
__I gave up"_

_~Memories by VAMPS~

* * *

_

Heero Yuy was buttoning his white long-sleeved polo uniform in the early morning. It was still early, and the former Gundam pilot still had a lot of time to spend before his morning classes. The television was turned on and was on a news channel just in case _she _would be featured again.

He ran a hand through his dark brown locks and walked over to the window to pull up the blinds. It was sunny outside, as if the heavy rain from the past few days never came. He stared at the horizon where the early raises of the rising sun hiding behind the tall buildings from his view in his apartment shed light on the houses below. He gave a sigh when a certain memory came to mind.

"_Honestly, Heero, are you really human? Or an immortal vampire?" teased the Vice Minister as she crossed the room from the door to the glass door that leads to the balcony. She pulled a string at the side to let the curtains separate from the center and allowed the sunlight to fill in the room. "There, that should do it."_

"_I prefer the former," replied her boyfriend who was typing on his laptop as usual at the edge of the bed._

"_Really?" Relena walked over to the bed and came up behind Heero. She wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her chin on his shoulder, trying to peek at whatever he was typing. "Survived gunshot wounds, tended to his own broken leg, survived when his Gundam exploded, survived after jumping from a fifty plus feet cliff, loves working in the dark, that and many other things, yeah right."_

"_I'm used to the dark," said Heero, briefly glancing at Relena before returning back to his work._

"_I kind of figured. Ever since you were little?"_

_He nodded. "In the lab of Doctor J when I was being trained, it was always dark. There were no windows there, no sunlight, too."_

"_Oh." Again, Relena was regretful for even letting Heero remember the memories of his ill-fated childhood. A child. He was a child who never got to appreciate the sheer beauty of the sunrise nor the sunset. He was a child who had been exposed to war, violence, death, and weapons at an early age. It shouldn't be. He shouldn't have. How could fate be this cruel?_

_Heero must have felt Relena's discomfort as she unknowingly tightened her embrace, leaned her forehead on his shoulder, and went silent. Wanting to ease her of discomfort, he stopped typing and placed his hands on top of hers that was on his stomach. "It's alright. Even if I wasn't trained, I still wouldn't have any place to go to. I would have even locked myself up somewhere or even in the slums."_

_Relena only nodded, she knew that it was Heero's way of comforting her, even though it should be the other way around. It was she who brought up the subject. She unwrapped herself from Heero's embrace and planted her feet on the floor to close the curtains. Before she could get up from the bed, Heero's hand grabbed her arm, making her turn to face him._

"_Don't. Just stay here," he almost pleaded, his eyes displaying something that Relena rarely saw from him. His eyes seemed to be... lost, as if it belonged to a child who had been abandoned by his mother._

"_I'm sorry, Heero." She sat back down on the edge of the bed beside him, avoiding his gaze._

_She was apologizing. For what? All she ever did was forgive him and accept him for who he was. He was an assassin, who threatened to kill her, who pointed a gun at her not just once, and who he tried to hit with his Gundam shield. He could have been the one who would send her to her grave in the midst of the brutality of the war. But she forgave him after all that. Moreover, she loved him. It was more than he could ever ask for. She gave him a new direction in life. She gave him something new to protect, she gave him a reason for living. She had shown him the beauty of a bloodless world. What's there to be sorry about?_

_His thoughts were interrupted when Relena turned to him. "You know what? I take back what I said about you being a human or an immortal vampire."_

"_What am I then?" asked Heero, lifting his eyebrow in question._

"_You're an angel. __My__ angel." Relena chuckled, slightly ashamed of her words. "You see, your timing when I met you was just appropriate. When father was killed, I'm glad I already met you. You gave me strength during one of the most difficult times of my life. And even during the war, you kept me going. Your strength, your kindness, your motivation – I was inspired by it all. Knowing that you're fighting with all you can in the battlefield that in order to bring peace inspired me to also fight for peace in the only way I know how." She paused. "I'm sorry, I don't think I'm making any sense. But I just want you to know that you're the light of my life."_

_She bit her lip, waiting for Heero's reaction. Did she just admit all of that?_

_So honest. She just had to be so honest about her feelings. It really doesn't make sense. I aimed to take your life away before, countless times, thought Heero. At the tender age of eight, he was already firing guns and taking away lives of others. How could he be an angel? How could he be a source of inspiration? What kindness? Just by counting the numbers of the lives he had taken away, he was sure that he could never make it to heaven._

_The princess could see him comprehend her words. She knew that he was debating to himself whether he deserved her claims, and she was more than willing to let him know and believe that he was more than just an assassin and Gundam pilot. He was also a normal human being who has the capability to touch the lives of others. She reached for his hands. "Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm assuming that you're thinking about threatening me in the past. Ironically, you're the reason why I'm alive now. You saved me and protected me more times than you tried to... hurt me. For that, I'm thankful. And the fact that you're here with me is more than what I could ever ask for. I love you, Heero."_

_Too much faith in him. How could someone so pure like her ever trust him with her life? Moreover, love him? He knew he doesn't deserve her, but she's all he's got to keep him going on with life. She made him feel human, not just a weapon. She created a new world for him – a world untainted with blood. He wasn't her angel. It was the other way around. __She__ was his angel. She was his savior._

_Overwhelmed by her words of affection, his voice was caught in his throat. Too much to say, he thought. So the former Gundam pilot only responded to the only thing that made sense in his mind. He gently grabbed her by the shoulders and laid her down on the bed, positioning himself on top of her. Relena was about to say something when Heero claimed her mouth with his own. The princess responded to his kiss with equal fervor and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer. Heero broke the kiss and proceeded in kissing her neck. _

_Relena ran her hand through his dark brown locks, while her other hand caressed his back. "Heero," she whispered._

_The sound of her voice that begged for him to touch her, allowed Heero to surrender his rational thinking and only relied in acting on his emotions. Today he will love her, tomorrow, and for eternity he still will. And he will show her that. It's the only thing that made sense for now._

_That's when they made love for the first time – during the daytime, when the curtains were opened. Everyday's a new experience for Heero Yuy when he's with Relena Darlian._

Heero shook his head, wanting to stop the memory from continuing further in his mind. _Damn it. _It didn't take long until he heard the Vice Minister's name being mentioned on the news again. He hurriedly grabbed the remote control to increase the volume of the television just in case it will reveal more details on her visit to L1. His gaze narrowed when the headline briefly mentioned her trip, but was more focused on her love life.

The headline read _"Vice Minister Darlian Finds New Love?" _and images of Relena eating dinner in a fine dining restaurant with a blonde businessman with green eyes were being flashed on the screen. Next was a footage of Relena being hounded by reporters after a meeting with the delegates, pressing her with information regarding her new-found love, to which she only replied with a smile and denial insisting that they were just friends.

The television was turned off right after Relena denied the rumour. For the past year, Relena had been linked with several young bachelors ranging from businessmen, showbiz personalities, and politicians. Heero wasn't surprised with this since it was expected of someone as beautiful, intelligent, and kind-hearted as Relena to have a line of suitors vying for her affections. And he didn't have a right to object in whatever she chose the moment they broke up. But even when news of her dating someone else came up in the news, he couldn't help but know if the rumours were true. Has she really found someone? Has she found her soulmate? Has she moved on? 'Cause he was sure as hell not over her.

* * *

"Helloooo!" a female voice called out.

"What?" Heero snapped back at the source of the voice.

"What do you mean 'what'? We asked you if you'd like to join us for dinner tonight," asked a girl with the same age as him, dressed in a white shirt and shorts. She had long black hair that reached up to her waist and and had blue eyes.

Heero continued to stare at the setting sun as he replied to the girl sitting beside him on the school bench. "I'll pass. I have some things to do."

"What else do you have to do? We don't have homeworks for now. Come on! It's been a while since the track and field club members had this much free time to go out," replied the girl. "It won't take long. You can just show up and satisfy everyone then leave minutes after. Plus, you look distracted lately. You might want to unwind a little."

"I'm not distracted."

"Fine, but please come with us tonight."

"Fine, I'll go," replied Heero.

"Really? Shall we go together then?" offered the girl, her voice rising up with excitement.

"Go ahead. I still have to do something."

"Aw." The girl replied with a frown. She stood up and waved at him before she walked away to the gates. "Alright, but you'll come okay?"

Heero nodded at the girl and slightly waved back before turning back to the setting sun. There were certain times when the Prussian eyed former pilot would just sit on the bench in their school and watch the setting sun. Somehow, Relena was right. The sheer beauty of seeing the mixed hues of purple and orange painted in the big blue sky indicating the peaceful end of the day gave a tranquil feel.

It was nearly evening and there were only a few students left in their school. The cold breeze of the evening was starting to be felt as the wind played with his dark brown hair. For the past year, he was starting to get used to the life of a normal student, only that he still enrolled with the name Heero Yuy despite it being also an alias. Furthermore, figuring that he also needed to get in shape, he joined the track and field club. He was a heartthrob in their college with girls from even outside of their school cheering for him in their competitions. But of course, he turned them down.

He was relieved that no one in their school knew of his history as a Gundam pilot, nor his relationship with Relena. It made his school life much peaceful. _Peace._

Again, his mind drifted back to a certain evening.

"_If you hadn't stayed and joined the Preventers, what do you think you'd be doing right now?" asked Relena as she and her Preventer boyfriend leaned on the balcony of Heero's room._

"_Hn."_

"_Are you contented with what you're doing right now?"_

_There was a moment of silence before Heero answered. "Yes." He turned to Relena and saw her deep in thought. "What's wrong?"_

_The princess turned to Heero and tried to smile. "It's nothing big. Sometimes I'm thinking if I should just quit politics and just attend school to finish a degree without the media covering my activities. Just to study as a normal girl. Haven't you thought about it, too?"_

"_What?"_

"_School. I'm guessing that you also did not have a normal type of education," replied Relena._

_Of course none of it was normal. During his teens, he did nothing but transfer to different schools. Moreover, he attended the schools not to study but to accomplish a mission. But then again, finally studying in an institution 'normally' wasn't a bad idea._

"_I really did not have a normal attendance in school, you know that. But I have to say that in all the schools I attended, my stay in St. Gabriel was the craziest," said Heero. He turned to her smiling a bit._

"_And why is that?" she challenged._

"_Cause I met their most popular student and got the school attacked with mobile suits," he replied._

"_Very funny." Relena playfully hit his arm, wrapping her arms around it afterwards. "But honestly, you want to go to school together someday?"_

"_That's a good suggestion. That'd be nice," he replied._

Heero got to his feet and walked towards the school's gate. _I'm here now, Relena, without you._

_

* * *

_

"Oh my." Relena gasped in surprise as she entered her house.

Petals of red roses were scattered everywhere in the living room and even on the corridor that led to the kitchen and dining area, as well as the staircase. She didn't bother to turn on the lights since the house was illuminated by colourful candles lit up in the living room. They were scented, filling the room with floral scent.

"Welcome home, sweetheart," said a man with short, blond hair, wearing a blue collared shirt and jeans. He stood up from the sofa and walked over to Relena. He was a bit taller than the princess, and had emerald green eyes that reminded her of Trowa.

"Nathan," she began.

The man removed her coat and kissed her on the cheek. "Have you eaten?"

Relena nodded. "Yes. They served dinner during the meeting. How about you?"

"Already did, too." The man named Nathan gave her a smile, which complemented his handsome face. "You must be tired."

"I am."

Nathan took her hand and led her to the living room. He pressed the 'play' button of the radio when they reached the living room, and a slow song played in the background. He placed his hands on the Vice Minister's waist and pulled her close, closing his eyes.

"Nathan?" Relena was still surprised at what Nathan, her boyfriend, had been doing since she came home. "What's wrong?" Everything seemed unsual. "Roses, candles, what's up?"

"Nothing's wrong," he replied softly. "I just miss you lately. We've both been busy. And then we're both leaving for different colonies tomorrow because of work. I'll miss you even more." He ran his fingers through her long hair.

"I missed you, too." Relena finally understood his sentiments. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned on his shoulder. "But it's just for two or three days. We'll see each other again."

"Yeah."

They just stood there swaying to the soft melody, holding each other for who knows how long.

Nathan broke the comfortable silence between them. "It's been a long time since we danced like this, right?"

"Yes," replied Relena, still leaning on his shoulder as she closed her eyes. The stress from work was finally leaving her, and she held on to her lover closer. She was comfortably leaning on his embrace when an unwanted memory crept unto her mind. It was the memory of her dancing with someone else when she was just fifteen years old. For a moment, Relena recalled the memory of how _he_ held her hand and waist, and how everyone looked at them with adoring eyes oblivious to their conversation about _him _killing her. It was also the night when their school was attacked by mobile suits because of her, but instead of helping the mobile suits end her life, _he_ ended up saving her.

"Heero," whispered Relena softly, snuggling onto her boyfriend's embrace. Realizing what she just said, her eyes shot wide open.

"What was that, Relena?"

They stopped moving.

_What have I done? _Relena pulled away from Nathan's embrace to look at him in the eyes. "It's nothing. I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for? It's alright." The blonde chuckled. "Anyway, since we won't be seeing each other for a few days..." He brought something out of his pocket. "I want to give you something."

In his hand was a black velvet box. He opened the little thing and revealed a ring adorned with little diamonds all around the band.

"Dear god." For the second time that night, Relena gasped in surprise. "Nathan, this is..."

"Marry me, Relena. I know that we've only been together for eight months. But I'm more than willing to stay with you for more years. I love you."

"I..."she paused.

Relena contemplated on the situation. Her faithful boyfriend of eight months just proposed to her. What to say? He was a faithful and responsible man, an attractive one, and he loved her. Every woman in the world who would be proposed by with that kind of lover wouldn't think twice about saying yes. But why was she taking so long? Why was she hesitant? Was it because of the man whose name she suddenly called out earlier?

_Stop it, Relena. He hasn't contacted you since he left. He's now living the life he wants now, and God forbid he could also be dating someone else now. Heero's a capable and attractive man, too. Right now, it's Nathan who you have. Love him, focus on him, _she said to herself.

The blonde sensed Relena's internal battle with herself, so he took her hand with his, "I know that it's sudden, but I'll give you time." He took the ring from the box and slid the band in her ring finger. "I'll patiently wait for you. Until then, just wear this. If your answer is 'no', then just remove this from your finger. Take this as a sign of my love for you."

Relena stared at the band in her ring finger. "I'm sorry, Nathan. It's just that... I've been busy and marriage is something that I haven't thought of yet."

"It's alright." Nathan embraced her.

Even in the arms of someone who loved her, she still thought of somebody else. How could she deserve him? How could she be this selfish? After _he _left, she had Nathan who stood by her and selflessly loved her even if she hadn't moved on from her past. Saying yes right now would just be the most appropriate thing to repay him, right?

Relena pulled away and looked at Nathan's emerald green eyes. "It's beautiful, Nathan. Thank you so much."

_It's time to move on._

"Nathan, I'm giving you my yes."

"Are you sure?" the blonde smiled, brightly accentuating his charismatic aura. "Did I hear you, right?"

"Yes." Relena nodded. "Yes, I'll marry you."

The blonde could not help himself and leaned down to kiss the Vice Minister before, wrapping his arms around her tightly but gently. "I love you, Relena. I'm the happiest man alive right now."

Relena returned the tight embrace, eyes filling with tears. She did not know if it was because of her being loved unconditionally or the guilt of still thinking about if she had betrayed her ex-lover. She always dreamed of being proposed to. Truth be told, she had always hoped that it was Heeo who would do so. But then again, he left. He made his choice, she agreed to it. It was their fate. So she only replied to the most appropriate words to say at this time. "I love you, too," she whispered.

"You're my soulmate, Relena."

It was when her tears began to fall.

* * *

**Author's Note: **How was it? ^^ Thanks for the reviews so far. I just realized how enthusiastic I am on this story. I originally planned for this to be just 2-3 chapters long, but found that I had more ideas in store for this one.

No Heero x Relena encounter yet for this one. Maybe for the next chapter ^_^ I just want to first establish how they're both doing before they meet again.

Anyhoo, it's been fun writing this one so I hope that you guys also enjoyed this. Until the next chapter! Ja!

Credits: The chapter title and song lyrics were from Japanese rock band VAMPS' latest single Memories/Get Up. ^_^


	3. Last Song

**Chapter 3: Last Song**

_"When you last spoke to me__  
__The sorrow that keeps pouring down turns to pure white snow__  
__I kept looking up at the sky__  
__If my wish reaches you now before this body disappears__  
__Hold me tightly once more"_

_~Last Song by Gackt~_

* * *

_Too warm. _Heero stirred in his sleep as he felt uncomfortable with the feeling of his arm getting warmer and warmer by the second. He opened his eyes and shifted to the other side only to be greeted with the sunlight coming from outside his windows. _Damn it, why are the blinds pulled up?_ his mind exclaimed. He shot out his arm to block the sunlight from hitting his face, at the same time feeling his whole body ache. _I feel like hell today._

He ignored the pain from his back and arms as he tried to sit upright and rubbed the back of his neck. _What time is it? _After turning around to look at the time from the clock on his bedside table, it was only when Heero Yuy realized that he wasn't lying on his bed, rather, on the floor still wearing their school uniform from yesterday. And he reeked of alcohol.

Rubbing his temples, he tried to recall what brought him there. _Amber! _In an instant, flashbacks of what happened the night before replayed itself in his mind. He was in a bar with his fellow track and field teammates. Amber, the black-haired female who invited him, was sitting beside him by the cocktails counter. Heero remembered staying for a couple of hours and right after he offered to leave, the girl beside him passed out. Not knowing where she exactly lives, he and his teammates had no choice but to bring her to his apartment. _That explains my body pain, _he thought, pertaining to him carrying the unconscious female.

He had laid her on his bed, while he slept on the floor during the night.

After regaining the memories of last ngiht, Heero then turned to the bed surprised that the blankets and pillows were neatly folded and arranged. Wondering where the girl went, he stood up and saw his teammate wide awake, drinking a cup of coffee on one of the two seats of his dining table located at the center of his room, while watching the news. She was still clad in her track and field outfit from yesterday.

The female noticed the owner of the room wide awake now, and was looking at her. She smiled at him. "Good morning, Heero."

Heero nodded. "Morning." He walked to the table.

"I'll go make you coffee," offered Amber as she stood up and headed for the pantry by the corner of the room behind them. "By the way, I'm sorry for last night. I drank way beyond my limit, and I ended up making you sleep on the floor of your own room."

The former Gundam pilot followed the girl with his gaze. _She's got no hangovers? _"It's fine."

"It won't happen again, I promise. I was actually glad that you're the one who took me home. Couldn't imagine Kevin nor Michael taking me anywhere." The girl chuckled as she stirred the cup, her back facing Heero.

"You collapsed onto me," replied Heero, shifting his gaze to the television.

"Yeah, well. It's a fortunate accident then," she returned to the table, handing Heero the mug.

"Thanks." He was about to take a sip when he was distracted by her watching him. "What?"

Amber chuckled.

What was so funny?

"It's nothing, don't mind me. You have no classes in the morning, right?"

He nodded.

"Me too. That's good then. I was actually feeling guilty about having you wake up this late. It's almost 11 o'clock in the morning."

"Like I said, It's fine." Heero took a sip of his coffee once more as he watched the news.

"I broke up with my boyfriend."

_What? _The Gundam pilot turned back to his teammate.

"That's why I've been drinking lately. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years last week. It was so painful I had to have to something that can make me forget everything that happened." Her playful tone faded and was replaced by a melancholic one. She stared at her shaking hands on her lap.

Not hearing any response from her companion, but knowing from his eyes that he was listening, she continued. "He said he already found someone else. He doesn't love me anymore. How can he nor anyone expect that I can forget all the good memories of our two-year relationship that easily? It sucks." She pounded on the table.

Somehow, Heero felt like he can relate to her sentiments. Looking back, he and Relena's relationship almost reached its second year until _he_ ended things. But it wasn't that he had found someone else, nor he didn't love her anymore. And until now, he knew in his heart that he still loves her. The only thing was, how about the other party?

When Heero still said nothing, she lifted her gaze to face him, slightly embarrassed by her self-centered chattering. "I'm sorry for blabbering like that. I just needed to let it out."

Heero shook his head. "It's okay."

"How about you, Heero? Have you ever had your heart broken to the point of wanting to drink all night just to forget the pain?" asked Amber.

What kind of a question is that? "No," he said flatly. Yes, parting with Relena was heartbreaking. But he didn't get to the point of guzzling down a whole bottle of vodka just to erase the heartache. His parents died when he was young. He watched his own biological father die before his own eyes, but he didn't cry. How can parting with Relena be any more painful?

"No? Come to think of it, do you have a girlfriend? I'm just curious. You're good-looking, so you must have had lots of girls swooning over you way back in highschool, right?"

_In other schools, yes, especially when Duo and I played basketball. Only in St. Gabriel did every girl fear me - __except for one._

He turned away.

"Oh, so you do have one! So where is she? You haven't brought her to school yet, right? Is she also in this colony?" the girl's excitement was evident on her high pitched voice.

"She's on Earth."

"Earth? Wow, so you guys are on a long distance relationship then? Amazing! It's good that you two are still..."

"She's an ex. I'd rather not talk about it."

Amber felt remorseful of ever bringing up the topic as Heero kept his eyesight on the television. He was obviously avoiding the topic that still evidently affects him. She then thought that his ex-girlfriend on may have been really special to affect the usual cold and stoic Heero Yuy this much. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

An awkward silence surrounded the room, until Amber exclaimed, "Relena Darlian!" She lifted the remote control and increased the volume of the television when footage of the blonde Vice Foreign Minister dressed in a purple knee-length dress was flashed on the screen, her hair still sporting her braids. "She's so beautiful. Oh my, I admire her so much. She's pretty, smart, nice, wealthy, influential. She's so perfect. I wish I could be like her, so admirable."

Heero said nothing and kept his eyes on the screen, not even blinking. But of course he heard Amber, and he could only nod in response. He already knew all of Relena's traits, they shared a good amount of years together. And he loved her because of it all. _Beautiful inside and out. _She's perfect, yes. And the only imperfection in her life was him.

"Oh my goodness! How could I have missed this? She's coming to L1 for a conference! She's coming here! Heero, she's coming here!" the dark-haired female was shaking Heero's arm in excitement as the news anchor announced the Vice Foreign Minister's early departure on Earth. "She'll be arriving today here on L1!"

_Today. _Heero ignored his teammate's screeching and only stared at Relena's smile as she answered the reporter's various questions regarding the diplomats' conference. _I'll see you today. _Seeing her smile, Heero mirrored the gesture as the thought of seeing her in a few hours had his almost dead heart pumping up faster than usual.

It could almost be considered as a good mood, until another headline popped up on the screen. And Heero felt his whole body turn cold as he read: "Relena Darlian and Nathan Walker Engaged?"

The camera focused on the ring adorned with small diamonds placed on her ring finger. Heero watched Relena as she gave a soft laugh and didn't answer the question.

"At least if the rumours are true, then she's lucky to have a guy like Nathan Walker for her husband!" said Amber. "Nathan Walker is such a capable man and very handsome, too! They're perfect for each other!"

When the news changed to the weather reporting, Heero sat still and tried to comprehend what was reported earlier. _She's engaged? _He couldn't believe it. How could you be engaged if you've only been together in not more than one year? Heck, they spent an almost two-year relationship but it didn't happen. Or... did Relena wait for him to propose to her all this time? Was he too busy thinking of his own issues that he didn't realize it? Heero clenched his fist.

However, those were still rumours. They're unconfirmed and unverified, he convinced himself. But then again, Relena didn't deny it. On a side note, she didn't confirm it either. As long as there was still a small percentage of it not being true, he will still carry hope with him.

On second thought, hope for what? What was he expecting? What was he planning? What was he thinking? _I just want to see her. I couldn't even say I can already be with her at this state. _It was him who broke up with her. It was him who left. She did the right thing by forgetting and finding a new love. He actually half-wished before that she would do just that. Just forget him. He wanted it. But why did it hurt that he got his wish, especially when Relena found someone who could match with her in terms of everything?

He had read and heard about Nathan Walker. The half-British, half-Japanese twenty one year-old blonde is the only son and heir that owned several establishments on Earth. Intelligent and hardworking, he also managed to expand their businesses in outer space colonies. Relena couldn't find a better man than him.

The weather reporter announced that there will be heavy rains on the following days that may eventually be thunderstorms, so the people should expect dark, cloudy skies starting tomorrow. But to Heero Yuy, his own sky had already turned dark.

_Amber, could you ask me again if I had my heart broken to the point of wanting to drink all night?_

* * *

Ten minutes left until classes will be dismissed, but the Prussian eyed former Gundam pilot felt like he was waiting for eternity. It was uncountable how often he looked at his watch and sighed in frustration at how slow the time was. His frustration grew even worse when their teacher for their last subject of the day announced that they will be extending few more minutes just so she could finish their lesson.

The clock read 5:50 p.m. _I won't make it. _Their class should have long ended at 5:30, however due to the extension Heero and his classmates had to endure thirty more minutes. He couldn't wait that long, _she _will be arriving by 6 p.m. And he won't be able to make it in time if this went on. But still he waited, excruciatingly.

When the clock struck 6 p.m., Heero wasted no time in grabbing his bag and running towards the entrance of their school to board his black, shiny motorcycle. He put on his helmet and drove in full speed to the airport.

* * *

She stepped out of the shuttle only to be surrounded by a swarm of reporters. Three Preventers stood beside her and shielded her as they made their way across to the waiting car not far from the shuttle.

Relena Darlian slid in the car first, with two of her security team sat beside her on both sides while the other sat on the front seat.

"Welcome to L1 colony, Ma'am," greeted the elderly chauffer who reminded the Vice Foreign Minister of Pagan. "I hope you enjoy your brief stay here."

"Thank you. I know I will. L1 is a beautiful colony," replied Relena sleepily as she closed her eyes and leaned further onto the seat.

"Miss Relena, our team has already checked the hotel that you'll be staying in. It's new and safe," said her tall, muscular bodyguard beside her.

"That's good then. Thank you. Is it in the center of the city?"

"Yes. There are several food establishments and a school near it."

Upon hearing the word _school, _Relena opened her eyes sharply. "What school?"

"It's the Aria University, Ma'am. It's said to be L1's premier academic institution."

"I see. Thanks again." She closed her eyes once more with her lips curved into a smile.

He almost skidded to a halt as Heero turned off the ignition and hurried inside the airport, only to find the people from the media leaving the place. _I didn't make it. _His hands shook, anger etched on his features.

* * *

The first day of the conference of diplomats ended earlier as scheduled, wherein the talks only involved in organizing common activities that shall be done on Earth and the Colonies to solidify their ties.

_Lots of time to spare, _the golden-haired Vice Foreign Minister thought, as she checked the wall clock above the vanity table in her hotel room. _It's only 5 p.m._ Taking one last look at the mirror, she adjusted her the cap on her head and put on her sunglasses. "Okay, I'm decent." _Time to look around._

Right after the conference, Relena didn't want to spend the rest of her day in her room, so she persuaded her security team that she needed to go take a walk around the colony alone. Her team agreed after giving a dozen conditions, and one of those was that she should dress casually so as not to attract attention – which was a futile attempt. Wearing just a blue shirt, jeans, a cap, and sunglasses, the Peacecraft princess' golden hair and mere presence can still stand out among the sea of people. But still, it was better than just wearing a diplomat uniform.

Picking up her card key, she went out of the room and roamed around L1.

After walking and surveying the area, Relena found it amazing how L1 can be so peaceful and clean. Only few cars can be seen in the area, which meant less air and noise pollution. Furthermore not many people wandered around, making her more comfortable in walking out in the open.

She had been told the day before that there is a university near the hotel that she was staying in. If her assumptions were correct, _he _could be attending there. Turning to her left, the black school gate entrance stood across the street. _Aria University. _It was the premiere university of the colony, if _he _wanted to be the best man that he could be, then _he _should have enrolled in something that provided high quality education, right?

Hoping that her hypothesis was accurate, the Vice Foreign Minister crossed the street.

Passed the guardless gate stood the wide five-floored school building. Classes might have already ended duet to the small number of students hanging around the different areas of the campus. She removed her shades as the sun was beginning to set.

She walked around the building, all the while surveying the area of any sighting of _him. _Without her shades on and despite her casual clothing, Relena did stand out obliviously as the students cast curious glances on her as she passed them by. The females whispered among themselves asking each other if they knew the blue-eyed stranger and that she looked familiar. The males, on the other hand, had joyous expressions for seeing a golden-haired foreign beauty roam around their school. Other male students who gawked at the Vice Foreign Minister were even considering of approaching her.

Relena walked to the right side of the building and gasped at the view of the horizon from where she was standing. The sun's setting rays painted dark orange and purple hues on the canvas that was the sky. Even the clouds seemed to have purple outlines. The orange rays cast its light on the track oval in front of her.

She then noticed a group of what was probably track and field athletes, dressed in jerseys doing some stretching, by the bench on the side of the track oval.

Unable to contain her curiosity and excitement further, she approached the group of male students. "Excuse me," she asked politely.

The athletes were surprised with the stranger who approached them and looked at each other as if asking the others silently who she was. Their gazes then were fixed on her, admiring her with curious gazes. A tall male with short jet-black hair and blue eyes smiled and stepped closer to her. "Yes, Miss? How may I help you?"

Relena smiled in return. "Um, I was just wondering if there's a student here who goes by the name of Heero Yuy?"

"Oh," replied the raven-haired male. Disappointment was evident on his tone of voice, his smile disappearing. "So you're looking for Heero." He ran his fingers through his dark locks. "Yeah, there's a Heero here alright."

"Really?" Relena's face brightened up she clasped her hands.

A taller blonde also stepped closer and smiled, entranced by the way the golden-haired stranger lit up the atmosphere. "He's our teammate here. You friends with him, Miss?"

_A friend? I'm at least his friend, right? _"Yes," she responded, with some of her excitement draining away due to the unexpected question. After all, what was she really to him now? What exactly was their relationship when they broke up? She was aware that she agreed to be civil with him, or friends for that matter, before Heero left. But they hadn't contacted each other after that. She didn't have the faintest idea of what their relationship was.

"Do you know where he is?" asked Relena. "Is he still here?"

The raven-haired one answered her. "Yeah. He's at the clinic on the second floor."

_Clinic? Is he injured? _She instantly felt worried. But then again it's Heero. He had been in a war where broken bones didn't stop him from fighting. How much more can a school activity do to him? Still, she cannot help it. Moreover, she tried her best to hide it. "Okay, thank you so much."

"Do you need some company to show you the way going there?" asked the blonde, hopeful for a positive response.

"No need; I'll be fine. Thank you again." She smiled at them once last time and waved until she walked to the entrance of the building.

The whole group then almost went on a commotion when she was out of sight.

"How does Heero know such a beauty?" exclaimed one, while the others commented that the stranger looked familiar, and that they could have asked for her number. But they settled down eventually, vowing to corner Heero one day and force him to spill information on Relena.

_I guess this is wrong after all. _Relena finally reached the second floor, and at the end of the corridor the sign of the clinic was visible. It was when she felt her heart pound insanely fast and loud. Nervousness? _I haven't seen him for a year_, she thought. What would she say when they finally see each other? What would be her reason for coming here? Will he think that she stalked him just like the times when they were fifteen years old and Relena followed him in almost anywhere?

_Why did I come here?_

To see him, some voice mentally told her.

She just... wanted to see him. It was that simple. It suddenly occurred to her that it'd be fine for her if they will not exchange words. Just seeing him will be enough. She needed to know what he was doing. She just wanted him to be alright.

And being in a clinic would signify that he was alright?

_Okay, I will just peek from outside. I don't have to show myself to him. I don't have to talk to him. I just need to see him. _She started to walk towards the clinic. In every step she took, she felt her body turn colder and colder. Her icy hands were clasped tightly.

When she looked at her hands, she saw the diamond-filled ring that her fiancé had given her before she left Earth. _Nathan. _Images of the charming businessman then crossed her mind and she instantly felt guilty about doing this, as she considered this act some sort of betrayal from against the good man.

_This will be the last, _she declared. This will be the last that she'll ever think of _him. _After this, she will let the past go completely and move on with her life as _he _already did. She just wanted to see him for one last time.

Firm on her resolve, Relena stood outside the clinic. The white door was slightly opened. Breathing in deep and exhaling, Relena mustered some courage and ignored the fast beating of her heart. She held her breath as she slowly but quietly pushed the door, at the same time scanning the room for any sign of _his _unruly dark brown hair.

For a moment, she felt like she stopped breathing when she finally found what she was looking for. There seated on a bed at the far right corner of the room was the former Gundam pilot.

"Heero," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Alright! A cliffie! I know you guys want Heero and Relena to meet so badly, but I'll be reserving that for the next chapter. :) Woot, R&R as always! Thanks to those who reviewed the previous chapters.

Have a good day, guys! :)

~Lady-Rinoa14


	4. Singin' in the Rain

**Chapter 4: Singin' in the Rain**

"_The quiet patter of the rain is pleasant__  
__I hum to myself as I walk through the city, thinking of you_

_I sheltered from the rain with you...__  
__Ah, on days like this, those times come back to life__"_

_~Singin' in the Rain by L'Arc~en~Ciel~_

* * *

"Heero," she whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

He was there, sitting on the bed at the far corner of the room. He was sitting sideways, though, preventing her from seeing his face was enough, however, to confirm that it was indeed him. His appearance didn't change one bit, he was still as attractive as ever – the way his dark brown hair was styled, or if it ever needed styling, the way his bangs hung over his eyes, and those eyes. God those penetrating Prussian blue eyes that she had always adored.

Relena revelled in the moment just looking at him and not moving from her position. It will only take a few more seconds before Heero will sense her presence due to his fighting instincts, so she had to decide fast on what to do. Should she enter? Or leave? Her mission was to just see him, to see if he was alright. Apparently, he was. So why not leave? A huge part of her was itching to call out to him, while the lesser part of her thought of the other faithful man who just confessed his unconditional love to her who didn't deserve this kind of betrayal.

_The only way to live a good life is act on your emotions. _The former Gundam pilot's principle echoed in her mind. _Act on your emotions, _she thought. Placing a hand on the door, she was about to push it wider, until she saw Heero move and reach out towards something in front of him. The slightly opened door was opened enough only to see Heero, so it obstructed the view of what or who could be sitting beside him.

She felt her chest tighten when she saw what he reached out emerge from the blocked view. It was a foot that had white complexion. Based on the flawlessness of the leg that she saw, Relena knew that it belonged to a woman. The princess watched as Heero gently massaged the foot, and a female voice was heard. "Awww, that hurts, Heero!"

For the first time after a year, Relena heard Heero's voice when he replied to the girl, "Relax, I'm not doing this to hurt you. This should make it better." Relena watched him reach for an ice pack on the bedside table at his side and placed it on the swollen area of the girl's foot.

The sight was enough to make her body turn cold, felt her chest tighten, making her clutch on her shirt. For some reason, seeing Heero with someone else made her breathing become difficult. Relena turned away from the unexpected sight and walked away. _Has he found somebody?_ She found herself running when she heard laughter erupt from the clinic. She needed to get out of here, fast.

"Did you take painkillers? Sprains usually last for not more than four days," said Heero.

"Yes, I already did. Thanks for this Heero. I wonder where the nurse went," replied Amber. She noticed her companion not paying attention to her, his eyes on the door.

"Heero?" she asked and followed his gaze. "What's wrong?"

Heero snapped out of his thoughts and shook his head. "It's nothing. I just felt like someone was there a moment ago." He turned to Amber. "I'll call Zack downstairs. I have something to do today. I can't take you home," he said before standing up. "See you."

"Thanks, Heero," called Amber when Heero left the room.

It was getting dark with some of the stars appearing in the orange night sky shaded by a mix of purple and gray. _It's getting late. Her meeting must have been done by now. _Heero jogged towards the track oval located beside their school building after glancing at his wristwatch that read 6 p.m.

"Yo, man!" said a blue-eyed brunette as he held Heero's arm and pulled him towards the track and field athletes by the bench. "How come you never told us you've got a really cute chic?"

"What?" snapped Heero, his expression filled with confusion and curiosity.

The brunette replied accusingly, "Don't 'what' us! You know the blonde chic that went to the clinic earlier?"

"Who? Nobody came to the clinic. There was only Amber and me at the clinic," defended Heero. "Who was it? What did she say?"

A blonde man came up beside the brunette and answered Heero's question. "She didn't say her name, but she looked familiar. Really beautiful, might have been a celebrity. She was asking if there was a Heero Yuy in school. We said 'yes' of course and told her you were at the clinic. Wait, are you saying you she didn't go to the clinic?"

"Affirmative," replied Heero. Who would have the nerve to ask for him? _Blonde, beautiful, _that was what his teammates were saying. It didn't take long until it clicked to him. _Relena? No, it can't be. It's not possible. Is it? She's supposed to be in a meeting. And why would she go looking for me? I haven't contacted her for a year now. _A dozen more questions occupied his mind, but he had to know.

"What did she look like again? Blonde? Does she have blue eyes? What was she wearing?" he asked everyone.

It was the brunette who replied, rubbing his chin trying to recall the details. "Like we said she's blonde. Yeah, got beautiful blue eyes. She's a bit shorter than you. Came here with just a blue shirt and jeans. Oh yeah, and she was wearing a cap, too."

"Did she have sunglasses?" pressed Heero. _Casual, Relena._

"Yeah. She was holding one," said the blonde.

"Was she alone?" Heero asked further, feeling half-irritated at the thought of Relena roaming around a massive colony without her security team. _Stubborn as always._

"Alone. No one with her as far as we recall," the blonde began." You know what? If I may say so, if that chic were to be dressed formally, she would have resembled the Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian big time, but..."

"When did she leave the building?" Heero cut him off. She was the presence who he sensed earlier outside the clinic. Relena was there, not more than five feet away from him. But why didn't she enter the room? She came to see him and he shared the same desire, more than ever.

"Not more than fifteen minutes ago," said another with curly brown hair. "So you know this person after all?"

Heero nodded and turned to the brunette. "Zack, take Amber home, I have something else to do."

The brunette smiled at Heero widely and patted him on the back. "Will do. Go chase after her, lover boy."

And then the former Gundam pilot was on his heels to find who his heart desired the most. What kind of joke was fate playing on them?

He ran. For all it's worth, he ran. He ran along the streets of the vast L1 colony for any sign of the female who sought after him, only to leave without saying a word. Critically looking at all the blondes he passed by, Heero felt his hopes drop down by a huge margin when he still couldn't find her. Who was he fooling? Of course, Relena might have been already picked up by her security team after leaving the school grounds. She must have been eating her dinner by now in her hotel. At least that's what he hoped to be, as opposed to the thought that Relena was still wandering around L1 at night, alone.

Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Heero leaned on a wall and stared at nothingness. The sun had fully set by then, with the moon replacing its place on the night sky. And night it was when the moon and stars can be barely seen through the thick dark clouds covering them one by one. It was when Heero thought that it was time to go home. If a pad with only furniture can be considered a home.

Turning around the corner, he passed by the flower shop. Taking a momentary glance at the blooming rose buds, Heero thought how Relena would have picked them and added them in his room in this colony if they were still together. If... he hadn't ended things. To some extent, that fact hurt. He had many regrets in his life, way too many of them. And this latest occurrence was probably one of his worst.

He didn't have an idea on far he walked from the flower shop minutes ago, but why can he still smell the scent of roses? _I'm losing it, _Heero thought as he pressed his hand on his forehead. How can she still affect him this much? The scent of roses grew stronger he felt like he was running in a garden filled with it.

His steps slowed down when he narrowed his gaze at the figure standing at the corner of the street. There, by the corner, was a woman with long, flowing blond hair who was wearing a shirt and jeans. She was looking at a dress displayed inside a boutique. The cap that she was wearing was covering her eyes from his view, but it was enough to make him stop on his tracks and just stared at her, his eyes filled with longing.

From her peripheral vision she noticed someone standing nearby, and that person didn't seem to be moving anytime soon. She diverted her gaze from the long blue dress, to the man standing just three feet away. Her eyes widened at the sight of the man she had not seen for a year. "Heero," she whispered.

It was a whisper, but he heard it crystal clear. How can she say his name, or what he's just usually called, differently than anyone else?

He didn't move from his place, just still in awe of how she hadn't changed one bit. Again, he smelled the scent of roses as the wind blew hard. It was her all along.

The princess gave him a smile and took a step closer, until she felt something fall from the sky and wet her cheek. Then came another, and another. Rain drops poured down heavily, followed by a loud thunder crash.

The loud thunder startled Heero, and he instinctively grab the wrist of the woman in front of him as they made a run for it.

Rain poured down like there was no tomorrow, soaking their clothes in a matter of seconds. But she didn't mind. Despite the chilly wind that blew against them and the icy cold feel of the rain, his hand that was holding her wrist was still warm. She didn't have a clue on where they were going, nor did she ever question it. She would go anywhere with him for all she cared, not when they finally saw each other again. She didn't even mind when her cap fell from her head.

Heero hadn't said a word since their encounter. It was hard to formulate a response due to the abundance of what he wanted to say. Moreover, rain interrupted their reunion which made him act on impulse. His mission this time was to find for shelter from the ceaseless rain. They just ran for it.

Fortunately, there was a bus waiting shed in the middle of the street and they took refuge underneath it. Relena panted from all the running, while Heero leaned on the wall and crossed his arms as he closed his eyes.

_He hasn't changed at all. Still composed as ever. _He was still the Heero she used to know and fell in love with. Relena observed him. With only the help of the light from the nearest lamp post, she watched as water trickled down Heero's dark hair and how his soaked white uniform now appeared transparent, sticking to his skin, making his chiselled torso visible. The princess blushed as she stared at Heero's beautiful body through the transparent wet shirt.

Heero opened his eyes and looked at Relena as she looked away embarrassingly. Heat emanated from her cheeks, making her blush. And the former Gundam pilot can only smile at her reaction.

He was the first to speak. "Can you call your security? They may be searching for you right now."

"No signal," replied Relena as she looked at her phone and placed it back in her jeans pocket. Good thing for water proof cellular phones.

Truth be told, she lied. Her phone had signal, but she didn't want the idea of parting from Heero that early. Her team can wait, she'd just have to send a message saying that she's okay. In fact, she was more than okay right now.

"The rain will probably last for long, I..." Heero began, but was cut off by the princess when she chuckled.

"You're as cautious as ever. Don't worry about it, we're already wet anyway. Then let's just make the most of it," said Relena.

Heero gave her a defiant look. "You'll get sick. I have to get you..." he was silenced with a kiss on his cheek.

Relena gave him a playful smile, and she knew that she had won this little argument as she stepped out of the shed and lifted her head to face the sky, welcoming the rain with open arms. A few seconds passed, she turned around expecting to see her companion still in the shed, arms crossed, and was giving her a threatening look. At least that's what she assumed as she recalled the Heero she once knew.

But he wasn't at the shed as she expected the moment she turned around. Instead, he was now standing centimetres away from her and his eyes didn't hold the serious and threatening look that she also predicted he would convey due to her stubbornness again. His Prussian blue eyes held some softness in it – one that she rarely saw, but dearly loved.

Time seemed to have stopped in their universe. They didn't seem to mind, nor feel, that they were standing in the middle of the road at night, being showered by the ceaseless rain, oblivious to the chilly breeze that blew towards them, as they stood in front of each other without saying a word. All they minded was this moment between them.

It had been a year since they last saw each other, and God knows how much they wanted to see each other again. Now that they were just centimetres away from each other, why did it feel like they were still light years apart? A moment of awkward silence surrounded the atmosphere, both of them contemplating on what to say to the other.

So many things can happen in a year. Where should they start? There were so many questions needed to be asked, to be given concrete answers to. They both thought of that. But what was holding them back?

Relena swallowed as she fought the urge to reach out to the man in front of her as she gazed at his eyes. What was holding her back?

A loud honking of a car speeding towards them interfered with what seemed like a staring contest between them. Heero pulled Relena towards the sidewalk back inside the waiting shed, out of the rain, before the car hit the both of them.

When the car was out of sight, Relena almost stopped breathing when she realized that her arms were around her protector's waist, and his were also wrapped around her, holding her close. She had been embraced by Nathan so many times before. Then why did it feel different when it was Heero who was embracing her? Thinking about Nathan, Relena felt immeasurable guilt with this act of treachery, but it was hard to let go.

_Let me be selfish, just this once._ The princess closed her eyes and buried her head between his neck and shoulder, embracing him tightly. It was so damn chilly, but Heero's body was warm as ever, making her snuggle closer.

Heero held her close, unconsciously returning the tight embrace that Relena initiated. Words. The words can be said later, questions can be asked later. Right now, all he wanted was this. This moment. Years ago, he wasn't the type of person who would hold anyone like this. Nor did he feel any uncertainty in anything. He always acted on his emotions and always planned things before he executed them. How come his mind blanks out whenever it was anything that concerned the princess in his arms? How can he be this emotional, which was a direct contrast to what he believed in when he was growing up as a trained soldier? Personal emotions were nothing but hindrance to any mission. This time, it was different. It was taking over him, immensely.

But he didn't mind. This time, he didn't mind.

Heero's body relaxed against hers. It felt so right. How can a simple gesture as this be so blissful? As if fate could be any more cruel, Relena wanted to hit herself when she coughed, pulling away from him slightly to cover her mouth with her hands. "Sorry."

The former Gundam pilot shook his head at her apology. "You're gonna get sick. My apartment's just nearby, we can make a run for it."

The moment they pulled away from each other, it was when Relena felt the coldness of the weather making her shiver tremendously. Her ephemeral moment in heaven faded in a blink of an eye. She didn't protest when Heero held her hand and not her wrist this time.

"I'd love to see your pad," she said, smiling at him.

Heero returned the gesture and smiled ever so slightly. "Let's go."

And then they ran again, Relena adjusted her hand so their fingers intertwined with each other. _Just for now. Let me stay by his side just a little longer._

* * *

Relena entered the room before him. "Nice place. It's so you," she chuckled.

Heero closed the door behind him, switching on the fluorescent light. "Yeah. I'm still not for decorating and all."

"I kind of figured. Would you mind me changing your curtains in to something floral when I come back here?" she teasingly asked.

_Come back here? _the question caught Heero off guard, but dismissed it assuming that she was just joking. Fishing for a towel at the lowest level of his drawer by his bed, he replied, "Others may think that a girl is occupying the place. I'd rather have your roses here."

"Here," he offered the towel to her. "There's the bathroom at the corner. I'll prepare some clothes for you. Take a shower or else you're going to be sick."

"Thanks, Heero," she said, taking the towel from his hand.

Relena's cellular phone rang from inside her jeans pocket, when she was about to answer it, Heero grabbed the phone from her hand and answered the call, "Nigel? This is Heero Yuy. Relena is with me. I'll bring her to her hotel when the rain stops. Over and out."

"Wow," said Relena when Heero handed her phone back. "At least Nigel knows you. He knows that I'm in safe hands. But Heero, what if the rain continues all through the night?"

"Do you mind sleeping over?" he asked.

_Not in a million years. _"No," she said as she made her way towards the bathroom, praying that the rain will not stop for the night.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry, I forgot that natural disasters like rain do not happen in colonies. XD Well anyway, Heero said in episode 20 or 21 of the series that the colonies were created as an imitation of the Earth. So if the colonies are the Earth's imitation, then they can also have rain, right? Loljk. Let's just use that explanation as an excuse for the rain. Plus, it's for the drama of it. ^_^

R&R as always! ^_^

Love lots,

Lady-Rinoa14


	5. Tender is the Night

**Chapter 5: Tender is the Night**

"_Everyone has sorrow and loneliness__  
__They want to hide tonight_

_It's probably selfish__  
__To want you to talk about everything__  
__Everyone is searching for that one person__  
__With whom to share their heart tonight"_

_~Tender is the Night by Yuna Ito~_

* * *

"Do you mind sleeping over?" he asked.

_Not in a million years._"No," she said as she made her way towards the bathroom, praying that the rain will not stop for the night.

"You can place your clothes in the hamper under the sink. I'll lend you my clothes if you don't mind," said Heero when Relena entered the bathroom.

"I don't mind," replied Relena, peering over her shoulder. "I'm sorry for the trouble."

The princess saw him shook his head at her response before she briefly gave a smile and closed the door. She removed her rain-soaked clothes, discarded them on the hamper, and proceeded in having a hot shower.

This was going to be a long night.

Heero had not moved even when Relena closed the bathroom door, as he pondered if this was a dream or just another joke that fate was playing on him. There, in a room two feet away, stood the person who had been haunting his dreams.

In his dreams, he was always fighting. There was still war. But he kept on hearing a female voice calling out to him, preventing him from spilling more blood – her voice. He kept on reaching out to the source of the fleeting voice, only to let it fade and disappear, leaving him alone once more on the battlefield, fighting endlessly. It was not real, Heero knew that, and _this _could even be a dream – fleeting, ephemeral.

But minutes earlier, he held her in his arms. He felt her breath tickle his neck, her hair was still silky smooth, and her hold was gentle but firm. To him, at that moment, it felt real. It was the most real occurrence that ever happened to him since he moved to L1. At that moment, he felt his almost dead heart beat once more.

Running a hand through his dark locks, he opened his single cabinet at the door adjacent to the bathroom door and fumbled through the drawers for something that his guest can wear. He didn't have much, so he settled for a blue shirt and boxer shorts.

After placing the clothes on the bed, he unbuttoned his own wet uniform, freeing his soaked, well-built body from its fabric prison, followed by his pants. Relena couldn't have possibly finished taking a shower that early, so changing his clothes without worrying over her seeing him completely naked was out of the question. Not that she had not seen him naked before.

Settling for a brown shirt and black shorts, he discarded his wet clothes over the sink and decided that he'll just have to wait for Relena to finish for him to place the wet ones in his hamper.

A knock then came from outside.

"Heero!" said a tall brunette when Heero opened the door.

"Zack," acknowledged Heero. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought your bike. You unknowingly left it in school after you chased your girl," said Zack. "I hope you don't mind me and Amber use it. I took Amber home first before returning it."

"It's fine. Thanks," replied Heero.

"I have something for you downstairs. It's dinner actually. I left it at the bike. It's Amber's way of thanking you."

"She didn't have to."

"Yeah, but she did. Apparently, she was embarrassed about passing out at the bar days ago. Just take it, man," said Zack.

It wouldn't hurt to accept a thank you gift, right? Relena had given him several of it before. So he nodded. "Alright."

"So, did you find her?" Zack suddenly asked, displaying a malicious smile.

The former Gundam pilot was not sure if he should answer the question or not, especially when his teammate was expecting a juicy story. But he nodded anyway knowing that the guy won't leave without an answer.

"Oh that's great, man!" exclaimed Zack.

Not wanting Relena to hear about him looking for her, Heero glanced to his left, where the bathroom was, before stepping out of his pad and closing the door behind him.

Zack saw the gesture and his smiled grew even wider, giving Heero the "you're-going-to-get-laid-tonight" look, which the Gundam pilot answered back with a threatening gaze.

"Alright, alright. Forget I asked and let's just get your dinner for tonight. We bought it from a Japanese restaurant nearby," said Zack, sighing in defeat as he placed his hands in his jeans pocket and walked towards the staircase with Heero following after him.

* * *

A loud ringing of the phone made Relena snap out of her thoughts. She was too absorbed in thinking how to survive this night with her ex-boyfriend without rekindling the buried feelings. _Will have to act naturally, _she thought. She wanted this, right? She wanted this, but dreaded it the same time.

After a few rings nobody still answered the phone. _Heero's just outside, right? _Turning the knob of the shower, the princess wrapped the towel around her and peeked ever so slightly from the bathroom for any sign of her former lover. _Former... _To her surprise, he was not there.

She stepped out of the bathroom and went across the room to answer the phone on his bedside table. Just when she was about to answer the phone, the answering machine automatically spoke, "Please leave a message after the tone."

Relena waited for the message, half-expecting to hear Duo's voice for some weird reason. Surprisingly, a squeaky female voice was heard. "Hello, Heero! Amber here! I just got home. I hope the rain didn't find you. I got home on time; your motorbike was deadly fast! Anyway, I got dinner for you. The last time I was in your place, I checked your ref and nothing was there."

Unconsciously, Relena felt out of breath by hearing 'home, your motorbike, and dinner.' How was this girl related to Heero?

Amber went on. "It's my way of saying thank you for everything you've done for me. Maybe I'll go wash your bed sheet sometime? I felt like I drooled on your bed the last time I slept on it. Well, anyway. Good night! Love you!"

And then she hung up.

The Vice Foreign Minister had just finished having a hot shower, but why did it feel like she was thrown a bucket full of ice cold water when she heard those last words? _Everything you've done for me? The last time I slept on it? Love you? _She heard them crystal clear, who was that girl?

Then it clicked to her. _The girl from the clinic earlier? Was it her? _Relena's grip on her towel tightened. So the girl already slept in his room? On his bed? With him? She has his bike? What were the things that he had done to her? So many questions ran through her mind, but who was she kidding? Heero is an attractive man who has both dangerous and mysterious aura that can entice anyone to know more about him. Of course, he may have already several women swooning over him in his university. Why was she feeling annoyed by the thought? What's with the unreasonable jealousy? They ended things between them, right? Heero might have moved on from her. He didn't even tried to reach her for a year.

And it hurt. It hurt like hell. She shivered both from the realization and the cold weather. Glancing at the bed, she noticed the clothes that Heero had prepared for her. She wore the loose clothes and hung the towel on the towel rack back in the bathroom.

Heero's shirt was big for her petite body frame as expected. It reached up to her upper thigh, which also covered the short gartered boxer shorts of his. Still on his bed was a black comb, which Relena took and ran it on her golden locks. She made her way to the windows as she combed her hair. The princess pulled the blinds up, only to stare at the dark neighbourhood being showered with the rain.

_Where is he? _asked Relena to herself, wondering if he had gone out of his way because she was staying in his place. Was he uncomfortable about it? Was he concerned about letting his girlfriend know that his ex was in his place?

She was too absorbed in contemplating on their current situation that she had not heard him come in. The clattering sound of plates and utensils behind her made her turn around in surprise. "Heero?"

The former Gundam pilot nodded. "You seemed preoccupied thinking about something. I was thinking you might be hungry."

The princess just stared at him as he took out two plates from the pantry and set them on the table in the middle of the room. She watched him pour noodle soup from its plastic container. He really had not changed at all. His movements, the dominating but gentle look in his eyes, his words, they were still the same. Probably the only thing that changed for the past year was his feelings for her. Relena ignored the hurt of that possible truth as she continued to look at him prepare their dinner.

All the other food were inside styrofoam containers. Apparently, they were take-outs. Did he go out just to get her something to eat? But Heero looked dry enough, like someone who had not taken a bath with the rain right now. Recalling the voice of the girl earlier, Relena remembered how the girl had his bike and offered him dinner. Was this it?

Relena found it hard to digest the fact of eating something prepared by someone who currently has Heero's heart. She even wondered if she should tell him about the voice message, for him to explain his true relationship with the other girl. But was it his obligation to tell her about it?

After minutes of silence, which Heero thought was unusual in the company of Relena Darlian, he looked up only to see her moving her gaze away to the television. "Something wrong?"

_Yes. _"None," she lied as she walked towards the table. "You need help with that?"

Heero shook his head. "Go ahead and sit. It's ready."

Relena did as she was told and Heero followed suit, sitting across the table.

"Let's eat," he offered as he munched on a shrimp tempura.

The questions can be asked later. Smiling, Relena started with the soup.

Dinner went by comfortably with the Vice Foreign Minister telling about what was happening in the Earth Sphere for the past year when Heero asked her about it for small talk. He wasn't one to initiate small talks, but it was better than the awkward silence between them. Relena was usually the one who would initiate conversations, but she was transparently too bothered by something else to even try. Heero wondered if it had anything to do with their unplanned reunion.

So he initiated the conversation, which Relena engaged in as she shared her opinions on the plans of the diplomats for the Earth Sphere and the Colonies in the succeeding years, such as establishing schools that can teach the ideals of pacifism. It was the same as what Relena used to do when she ruled the Sanc Kingdom before it was attacked during the Eve Wars.

Heero felt at ease as he watched his princess be more comfortable. The politics talk excited her_. No one can ever take her interest in politics away._ She just chatted away and he listened to every word, though he only responded with "Hn" and a nod, while injecting some of his opinion from time to time.

She even laughed somewhere along her stories when she mentioned Hilde hit Duo due to a misunderstanding, and the former 'God of Death' had his nose bleed. Heero smiled, whether it was for Duo getting hurt or just hearing Relena's laughter after a year. Her laughter was like music to his ears. He did not know how long they had been talking; not that he minded.

Relena talked about almost everything, from the Preventers to the Earth Sphere's conditions. But there was something that she had not mentioned – Nathan Walker. All this time, he knew that she stayed on topics that will not lead to questions about her personal life. And it ached him to ask if the rumours were true, but he did not find a reason to do so. Relena is free to date anyone she wishes to date. What's his position to stop her?

"How about you?" he heard Relena say and he was brought to reality.

Seemingly a bit dazed, Relena repeated the question.

"What about me?"

"How's school?" she asked, sounding really interested. "You're taking Computer Science, right?"

Heero nodded and noticed how her eyes gleamed with interest, probably because of her long overdue plans of getting back to school. And then he recalled how they told each other once upon a time that they will attend it together.

"The usual; it's easy. I've written more scripts when I was a soldier." He continued, "The difference is that I'm a regular student this time. No missions to make me transfer schools."

The princess did not know if he was humouring her with his statement, but she chuckled anyway. "Yeah, and you don't need to hide a mobile suit here."

"Hn."

"So, how are..." she paused. How will she phrase it? _How are you and your girlfriend? _"How are your... peers?"

It took a second before Heero managed to reply. "I'm in the track and field team. The people who I'm usually with are the members because of trainings three times a week. They're all okay, less annoying than Maxwell."

Relena chuckled. "I see." But still, there was no mention of the girl. Was there a misunderstanding in how she interpreted the voice message? Or was he intentionally avoiding the topic?

Feeling uneasy once more, she tried to change the topic. "This was delicious. Did you buy this? When I got out of the bathroom, you weren't here."

"A friend came over and gave me these. Said it's sort of a thank you gift," said Heero. "Are you through?" motioning to her plate.

"Yes. Let me clean this up, I insist," offered Relena as she stood up and began stacking up the now-empty plates.

_It was her, Heero, wasn't it? Why don't you just say it?_

* * *

"She's not answering," said a blonde man who's wearing a suit as he pressed his hand on the glass window.

Relena's fiancé, Nathan, had just returned to his home after a daylong meeting with his business partners. He switched on the television and learned of the rainstorm that was currently occurring on the L1 colony. _Relena._

Concerned about his fiancée, he had been calling the phone in her hotel room, but no one was answering. _She must have been outside. _And the thought of her still not safely in her hotel room during a rainy night made him worry.

Dialling once more, he tried to reach Relena's cellular phone.

* * *

It was his turn to look at her. Relena had insisted in washing the dishes, leaving him with nothing to do but stare at her, though her back was turned to him. For some reason, he thought of how sexy she looked while wearing his clothes.

His boxer shorts were too short, baring her flawless legs. His shirt, on the contrary, was rather long up to the point of covering his boxer shorts that made Relena look like she was wearing nothing underneath.

Ashamed at what he was thinking, Heero shook his head and went over to his bed.

On his bedside table, he saw Relena's phone lit up and vibrated. _It's on silent mode. _Thinking that the call might be important, Heero picked it up and regretted that he did.

The name Nathan was plastered on the screen, and the former Gundam pilot felt a wave of jealousy and irritation pass through him. He wanted to crush the vibrating object in his hands or just throw it away, but it would be too disrespectful of him. And being the good man that he was, he called Relena. "Hey, you have a call."

"Oh?" Relena glanced over her shoulder briefly. "Who is it?"

"Nathan."

Crash.

The sound of a plate breaking was heard in Relena's direction, which made Heero instinctively rush to her side. Broken pieces of the plate were on the floor and he heard the princess mutter apologies for her clumsiness, which were actually inaudible. Her eyes were cast downward.

"I'll take care of this, don't worry," said Heero as he handed her the phone.

Relena nodded, avoiding his gaze. She walked to the farthest corner of the room and answered the call. "Hello?"

"Hello, Relena? Thank goodness! I've been contacting you through the phone in your hotel but you weren't answering. I was so worried!" said Nathan, sounding relieved to hear her voice.

She had not expected this at all. How could she have forgotten the other man who was apparently in love with her and was even worried about her safety, when she was staying in her ex-lover's place?

Relena shakily held her phone and tried to respond with a casual tone of voice. "I'm okay. You don't have to worry."

"Where are you anyway? It's already late and you're still not in your hotel. Was the meeting time extended?"

Relena glanced at Heero who was picking up the shards of glass on the floor. She turned her back to him once more and thought about telling her fiancé the truth of where she was. However, she knew that it will not bring good results. Should she lie? Relena Darlian does not lie. But was she supposed to say?

"Yeah, it was extended. I'll send you a message, alright?" she managed to say. It was all she can do.

"So you're still in the meeting? Message me when you're in the hotel, okay? I'm tired from the meeting, so I'll be sleeping early. Good night, Relena. I love you," said Nathan, sounding really tired.

In the past, she used to find comfort, security and even feel total bliss when he said those three words to her. But right now, those three words sound the most hurtful words ever uttered. She couldn't handle the guilt and how undeserving she was of his affection.

She could just reply "I love you, too" then end the conversation. However, the thought of her saying 'I love you' to someone when Heero's around discouraged her, though there was no reason to be hiding it from him. _It's not like you're still together and he's still in love with you, _she said to herself.

"Relena?" said the voice from the other line.

"Oh, sorry, Nathan," she said, snapping out from her thoughts. "I'll see you in a few days. Good night."

And she ended the call.

Heero did not want to eavesdrop; it was not in his nature. But he couldn't help but hear Relena's words as she tried to converse casually. He only heard a few words, but he knew that the other man was worried about her. Did Relena tell Nathan that she was staying in his place?

He picked up the remaining piece of broken glass and threw it in the garbage can beneath the sink. From the corner of his eye, he saw Relena sigh and sat on the chair.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

Relena gave him a smile. "Yeah."

She was faking it, he can tell. But there was no use in pressing further for something that she apparently did not want to talk about. He walked over to her side, knelt beside her, and held her hand, gently turning it back and forth.

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

"No," replied Relena as she held her hand back in surprise.

Heero let go of her and wondered if he had crossed the line. Nevertheless, he apologized. "Sorry."

_For what? _Realizing what she had just done, she reached for his hand and held it gently. "I should be the one apologizing for barging in your place and even breaking something. Don't worry, I will leave the moment the rain stops."

_Don't worry? _She was misunderstanding this. Hadn't she realized that it was the other way around? thought the rain stops, it will make him worry for giving her the reason to leave him. Not like this.

Heero's free hand touched her cheek and ran a finger on her jawline. How he missed this. How he missed everything about her. Suddenly, their embrace earlier seemed like it happened months ago.

"Don't..." he began. _Don't leave. Don't let go._

_Don't what? _Relena stared at his eyes and felt herself get lost in them. She placed her hand on top of his that was placed on her cheek. _He's warm as always. _She tightened the grip on both of his hands, not wanting to let go. She was ready to not let him go.

But it was him who did.

Heero stood up. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Alright," replied Relena, wanting to smack herself for how stupid she sounded as she heard the bathroom door close.

_What the hell am I doing?_ Heero ran a hand on his dishevelled mane before leaning on the sink and looking at his reflection on the mirror. "I shouldn't be doing this." As he was about to turn on the sink faucet, a small shiny object sparkled by the edge of the sink.

Heero picked up the object and felt like his heart died once more as he finally got to touch the material that he least wanted to see in his life.

_Relena's engagement ring._

* * *

**Author's Note: **Woot! Sorry I had to leave another cliffe ^_^ I wanted to write more, actually, but it's already 2:25 a.m. here, so my mom's telling me to sleep already. More to come on the next chapter! ^_^

Thanks for the reviews so far. Keep em coming! I get motivated in continuing this, that's why. ^_^

R&R as always.

Much love,

Lady-Rinoa14


	6. Implode

**Chapter 6: Implode**

"_Completely, whole fully  
I cherished the broken and falling memories  
No matter how much I try, there's no use  
The yearning holds me tight_

_Even though it keeps me lingering  
It won't even let me turn around_

_It's so damn hard for me to let you go  
You know I can't let you go  
No, I can't let you go"_

_~Implode by BoA~_

* * *

Heero picked up the object and felt like his heart died once more as he finally got to touch the material that he least wanted to see in his life.

_Relena's engagement ring._

It was the same thing that he had seen on television. Based on the amount of diamonds around the band, Heero could only conclude that this was worth millions. It's the perfect accessory for a princess given by a prince that she deserved.

Placing the ring back on the edge of the sink; Heero thought that Relena may have removed it before taking a bath. He moved away from the sink and proceeded in taking a shower. The heat of the water did not even soothe his senses as his thoughts drifted to the current situation. How was he going to make it through the night? It ached to keep his feelings inside. Sooner or later he knew that they would not be able to avoid this topic for long. He had to know the truth from Relena, no matter how painful it can be.

Relena Darlian placed her hand on the glass window and stared at the quiet neighbourhood, worrying over what may happen later in the evening. Suddenly, the idea of her spending the night was a bad idea after all. She was happy to see him again; she can't deny that. But it was becoming difficult to stay with him any longer knowing that he now belonged to someone else. Or so she thought.

She recalled the words of the girl who called earlier. _Should I tell Heero about it?_ After that unexpected message came in, she had been feeling uneasy and insecure. Wanting to ignore the growing ache, she sat down on the chair by the dining table and turned on the television browsing through the channels.

Shivering for a moment, Relena felt her eyes dropping and her head pounding. Breathing became shallow and she had to rub her temples in a failed attempt to make it better. _I'm just tired, I guess._She shifted her gaze to the bed, but mentally told herself that there was no way that she'd be laying on the bed where Heero's new girl slept on. Plus, she was just an intruder in his home right now. Sleeping on the floor was what she deserved.

The pounding of her head became stronger and she trembled a few more times. It was unusual; the aircon in Heero's was turned off. _It wasn't this cold before._She rubbed her arms with her hands in an attempt to warm them, but to no avail. Mustering her strength, Relena stood up and went to the pantry and drank several glasses of water. Her headed pounded again and she ended up leaning on the counter.

_All I need is at least an aspirin._She fumbled through some drawers for any medicine or pill that can make her feel better; there was none. Why would Heero Yuy have any medicine in his pad anyway? He is invincible. Sighing, Relena walked over to his three-level bedside drawer and began to check if there were any drugs that Heero kept. She found nothing on the first two drawers and was on to the last one. As she was about to pull open the final drawer, Heero emerged from the bathroom, already dressed up.

"Relena?"

Relena almost jumped in surprise with the sound of his voice, which made her turn to his direction. In a few seconds, Heero was already by her side and immediately closed the half-opened drawer. "What are you doing?"

"I was just..."

"Did you see anything?" Heero's tone had a tinge of demand and urgency, and his equally fierce eyes pierced through her.

_See what?_"No," replied Relena, wondering what could he possibly refer to inside the drawer. There was practically nothing there, she recalled. _Just some sort of a book._

"If I say yes, am I going to be threatened again?" she challenged with a smile.

Heero smirked at her question. "Don't even try." He got up on his feet and then extended his hand to her.

"If you say so," said Relena, appearing to be happy with the memory of their first meeting. She reached for his hand and he gently pulled her to stand. She was about to let go when his hand held her firmly, stopping her from walking away from him.

"Heero?" Relena looked at him curiously.

"Your hands... They're burning hot," said Heero. He closed the distance between them and placed his free hand on her forehead. "You have a fever."

Relena felt her face grew even hotter, thinking if it was because of her unhealthy state or the contact of his flesh with hers, and she suddenly hoped that she was not blushing right now. _Too close._He was too close; the temptation to hold onto him once more kicked in.

It had to be stopped.

The princess took a step backwards and Heero let go of her completely. She saw him shook his head and apologized for the sudden contact. "Lay on the bed. You have to rest," he said as he grabbed his bag on the desk beside the television and fished for some pills.

"I'm fine. You don't have to," said Relena.

Heero came back to her side with a glass of water and a pill on his hands. "Drink it," he demanded, leaving no room for arguments.

Relena did as she was told. "Thank you. I was looking for those earlier, actually. I'll be okay now." She placed the empty glass of water on the table and leaned on the wooden object when her head started pounding again.

"Don't be stubborn." Heero came to her side. He already knew that she was forcing herself so as not to show her that she's weak, but then again, even the strongest people also get sick.

"I'm still not..." And then she coughed. "...sleepy."

"But you're still sick," said Heero, touching her arm. "Please."

His pleading tone caused her to turn to him. _Is he that concerned?_Half-delighted and half-fearful at the concern that Heero was conveying, Relena couldn't help but smile at him. "Alright."

She lay on his bed and was flustered when Heero covered her body with his blanket. "Where will you sleep?"

"On the floor," replied Heero.

"Hey, wait!" Relena was about to rise from her lying position when his hands grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back down.

"Just stay put, sleep, and get better. I'll be fine here. I used to be a soldier, remember? I can sleep anywhere," said Heero.

It was that close contact again that made the both of them blush, especially with their position. Heero pulled away immediately.

"Why not share the same bed?" asked Relena sleepily. "I don't mind if you don't."

_I don't, but..._He heard her offer. He wanted to, but a part of him refused to be near her. But in the end, it was the less rational side of him that won. "Alright. But go ahead, I still have some things to do."

"Okay," said Relena softly as she closed her eyes and snuggled a bit more under the blanket, evidently cold.

It did not take long until Relena drifted to a deep slumber. The former Gundam pilot watched the Vice Foreign Minister inhale and exhale deeply, indicating her difficulty in breathing. But her face remained serene and relaxed, and Heero felt as if an angel was sleeping on his bed.

He went to the bathroom and emerged less than a minute holding a basin half-filled with water, and placed it on his bedside drawer before pulling out a small face towel from his cabinet. Pulling a chair by the dining table, Heero sat beside the bed and dabbed the wet towel from the basin to Relena's forehead and arms repeatedly, as he hoped that the act will not disturb her peaceful sleep.

There were moments when Relena's brow will furrow at the contact of the wet material on her skin, but to Heero's relief, she never did wake up. He knew that Relena will refuse about him worrying over her. _Always the strong one_, he thought and smiled at the thought of her arguing about him that she is not weak. Nevertheless, no one is perfect, and his eyes noticed the dark circles under her eyes, as well as her slim figure. _She's restless_. _No wonder her immune system dropped._

Heero left the towel on the basin when it had been emptied. He placed his hand on Relena's forehead and felt her fever had gone down at least barely. Feeling also a bit drowsy, he turned off the lights and went to the bed. The blinds were pulled up, allowing the entry of light coming from the street lights outside. It was still raining, but not as hard anymore.

He carefully lay on the bed, not removing his eyes from the woman beside him who was rolled onto her side facing him, worried that he will wake her. Then he covered his body with the blanket that she also shared and he felt the hot feel of it under the sheets due to the princess' fever.

"Heero..." she softly said, surprising him. It was soft, quieter than a whisper, but he heard it and he wondered if she was still asleep. He watched as she shivered once more and her hands were rubbing against each other for warmth. Her brow furrowed, and Heero noticed that she was still sleeping.

He rolled on to his side, placed his arm around her waist, and pulled her against his chest, wanting to share his warmth with her. Her left hand was placed on his chest, while her other one wrapped itself around his waist. Heero felt her hand that was around him went under his shirt and touched the bare skin of his back. The touch itself ignited emotions that Heero tried to suppress all this time. He wanted to touch her, to hold her, and not let go. But he just can't bring himself to do it emotionally, and made an excuse to himself that what he was doing was just for her health.

He knew that Relena's body was seeking warmth from the coldness that the cold weather and fever brought, so he made no move to remove her hands from his body and even when he felt her right leg slip in between his legs. Her skin was undeniably hot from the fever, but Heero felt a different kind of burning feeling inside him.

"Heero..." He heard her call again, which made him hold her even tighter.

"I'm here," he said as he kissed the top of her head and laid his cheek on it before closing his eyes. "Get well soon. Good night."

* * *

She opened her eyes to the sound of the rain and the warm feeling that directly contrasted what she felt before entering dream land. She was sweating. _I'm not cold anymore. My fever's gone? _Adjusting her focus, it took Relena Darlian some seconds before noticing where the extraordinary warmth came from.

It was dark; the only light in the room came from the street lamps outside, but the princess did not need any light to know and feel where she was and who was holding her in a tight embrace. Closing her eyes once more, she listened to the steady beating of his heart. She did not know how her head ended up lying on his chest, his right arm around her, and so was hers around his waist, but it didn't matter. It just felt... right.

Momentary bliss faded when her dry throat ached for water. Slowly, carefully pulling away from her ex-lover's hold, made her way towards the pantry, briefly glancing at Heero if he had woken. He didn't, much to her relief. She checked the time through the digital clock above his television. _3:30 a.m._

After drinking a glass of water, she made her way to the bathroom. She looked at the mirror that reflected her pale complexion and lips, big and dark circles under her eyes, her uncombed hair, and thinning body figure. _I look terrible,_she said to herself before placing a hand on her neck and forehead, confirming that her fever had already gone.

Her thoughts then drifted to her and Heero's position. She had no recollection of anything that transpired after she had fallen asleep. Fear and humiliation crept inside her at the thought of her unconsciously clinging on to him. Was he aware of it? How long had it been? Any thought of Heero initiating the contact was omitted. _It's just not possible, _she thought. Nonetheless, she was grateful for having to hold him again.

But then, how will she be able to sleep again now knowing that he was beside her? Relena shook her head and leaned on the sink. When she lowered her head, she saw a shiny silver object by the sink's edge.

Her engagement ring.

Relena felt like her stomach dropped at the sight of it. How could she have forgotten it? Did Heero see it? Questions ran through her mind like wildfire, but she wore it anyway – afraid of losing it. What was she supposed to say to Nathan when it got lost to the house of her ex-boyfriend?

Emerging out of the bathroom, Relena headed to the bed and stopped briefly before reaching it when she saw the basin with a small towel on the bedside drawer. _Did he?_The golden-haired Vice Foreign Minister then wondered if Heero took care of her even when she was asleep.

"Feeling better?"

Relena turned to the source of the voice in a snap. "Heero?" Though the lights from outside barely lit the room, the princess can make out the former Gundam pilot's form as he shifted to a sitting position on the bed, his Prussian blue eyes piercing through her.

"Well, yeah. The fever's gone," she replied.

He nodded.

"This," Relena began, pointing to the basin. "Was this for me?"

Heero looked away to the window. "Yeah."

"I see," said Relena. "Thank you."

"Don't mind it."

He still was not looking at her, and it bothered her to pieces. So many thoughts, unanswered questions and worries plagued her mind ever since she saw him again. Furthermore, the buried feelings that she thought were long dead had awakened and plagued her very being. She was happy to see him, yes. But ironically, the longer she stayed with him, the more painful the feeling became.

If this will be the only moment when they will be together, then she will have to get the answers to her questions.

Everything.

Tonight. They only have this one night. It was now or never. And Relena knew, perhaps Heero even knew that everything that will be said tonight will decide on what their fates will be.

Still rooted on the spot, her hands played with each other as she began to speak, "Heero..."

She caught his attention. She felt his eyes on her, patiently waiting for what she had to say. Tounge-tied, Relena couldn't manage to get the words out. Because of the abundance of what she had wanted to say, she didn't know where to start. _Where to start? Heero, I still love you? Heero who was that girl you were with? Was she the same one who had slept on your bed? Are you dating her? Have you already found what truly makes you happy? Have you found your soulmate yet? Do you... still have feelings for me?_The last question that entered her mind sent shivers run down her spine and wondered if she would be strong enough emotionally to handle whatever his answer will be.

Heero must have noticed the chill that ran through Relena, and it made him stand up and walk towards her to placea a hand on her forehead to check her temperature. "The fever may be gone, but you still need to rest a bit more. You might be just tired," he said as he removed his hand from her forehead.

_No._"No, that's not it," said Relena, shaking her head, walking passed him to the the glass window and gazed at the ceaseless rain. Placing her hand on the glass, she can only utter the words that made it to her lips, "What happened to us?"

_What happened to us?_

For the first time since they had seen each other again, it was the first time that Relena brought up the subject of their relationship. Of course the question could be interpreted in a lot of ways, but he knew what exactly she was talking about. He dreaded this question, but on the other hand, he was glad that she brought it up. But where to start?

"Never mind," said Relena almost immediately with a cheerful tone of voice and turned to smile at him, contrasting the tone and the seriousness of her expression awhile ago. "Forget I asked anything. It just slipped out of my mind all of a sudden."

She tried to be convincing with her smile and voice. She wanted to let him know that nothing bothered her, but her cerulean eyes filled with longing gave her away.

_You can convince and persuade all the people in the Earth Sphere and the Colonies, Relena, but not me,_he said to himself. Averting his eyes from hers, he ran a hand through his dark locks. "I don't know."

Relena's smile faded and was replaced by a curious look, wondering what he meant by that statement.

Breathing in and out, he turned to her again. "I don't know what I'm doing." He paused and continued after telling himself that this might be the only chance he can speak to her like this. "I left a year ago. I thought I chose the right path, but..."

"But?"

He searched for the right words to say. "But I felt like I'm going in circles," he said, looking at her with eyes that held confusion and longing that pleaded for her to understand.

Relena saw right through him; she wanted to understand, but she had to know more. "How do you mean?"

Opening up was not really in his nature, how was he to say everything that he felt? Shaking his head, he dismissed the question. "When it comes down to it, I still don't..." he paused. He couldn't say it. He couldn't admit it. So he had to stop this conversation here and now. "Rest, Relena. We'll talk about this in the morning, you have to rest. You still have a meeting..."

"What are you actually avoiding, Heero?" Relena cut him off, her voice seemed to be demanding for answers. "Why do you show that you care then just get back in your own shell? Why are you keeping me at arm's length now?" She was getting tired at the emotional barrier that both of them had been putting up, her fists clenched at her sides.

Surprised at the seriousness of her tone and gaze, Heero also felt his insides gnaw at him to finally speak. "I'm keeping you at a length that is just appropriate. You are a guest in my house. I'm not going to let you get sick again."

"So that's just what I am to you? A guest? A guest that you found on the street that you felt responsible for? A mission?"

Heero's blood boiled at the sudden change in the direction of their conversation. But he had to stand his ground. "What are you implying? This shouldn't come as a surprise to you. You know I care about you."

"You care? Or you cared? Or did you really ever?" Relena challenged.

"What are you saying?"

"You never called! You never answered any of the messages I sent you. I called you every day when you left, but you never answered," said Relena as her voice raised, her hands trembling on her sides, as she tried to contain her irritation, when she thought of the girl who left a message on Heero's answering machine. For that girl, will he call back?

She continued, "I waited for you. I waited for something, anything that will just assure me that you're still alive, well, or blowing up something. But you didn't. Not a thing."

Heero said nothing, so she just went on. "Ever since we met, I've always tried to understand you. I didn't hold you down even when you had to go somewhere else... because I know that you'll come back. So I waited. I waited. And I always did wait for you. Every day, every night, thinking if you're alright, praying to all the gods out there to watch over your reckless self. Up until now, I still wait for you. But nothing, if I hadn't..."

Her voice was cracking, but still, Heero had not said a word. He just listened.

Her voice trailed away, but still maintained its seriousness. No, she will not cry over this. She half-turned from him and whispered, "Do I mean anything to you?"

That was the last straw, Heero wanted to pound his fist on the wall. What the hell's with that question? She can say all she wanted to say, but not about his feelings. She absolutely had no right to question it. All this time that they had been together for the past years, she doubted his feelings?

"Are you done?"

Relena's eyes met his. She watched him walked to her and placed both his hands on either sides of the glass window, caging her between his arms. She instantly forgot how to breathe.

"Damn it, Relena. Of all the things that you question about me, you're questioning how much I value you?" he said; his voice spiteful. "You should know by now that all I have ever done was to keep you safe, to worry about you, to look out for you. And then you doubt me?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but Heero began even before she can say anything. He had to let this out of his system.

"I thought that we had an understanding before I left. You agreed for me to leave. I didn't promise that I'd return." He paused. "You want to know why I didn't contact you? I wanted you to forget about me. I'm not the person who's meant for you. You deserve someone better, Relena. You deserve only the best – someone better than me. Someone like Nathan Walker." Saying the other man's name felt like poison against the former Gundam pilot's tounge.

Relena slapped Heero at the sound of Nathan's name. "How dare you decide what's best for me?" she said as she raised her voice. "Who are you to decide what my fate should be? I thought you believe that we create our own fate with our decisions. I chose you, Heero. I loved you. I wanted you. And all I wanted was your happiness; that's why I let you go. All this time I thought you weren't happy with me or with your life as a Preventer. But you left because you thought you weren't good enough?"

"I AM not good enough!" Heero's voice also rose a bit in frustration of the truth that Relena was spilling. The former Gundam pilot lowered his arms in an instant. The anger subsided, and was replaced by that of pain. He had heard her words:_chose, loved_and _wanted –_past tense. It hurt.

And then he heard one of the biggest lies he had ever heard.

"So you forgot about me, just like how you wanted me to forget you," her voice trailed off.

Tears now fell from Relena's eyes. In the room with her was the first man she had ever loved, and the person whom she cannot have anymore. She was engaged now. And he, too, had probably moved on with someone else. Nothing can change their fate anymore, it was both their decisions. And Relena was now trying to accept that reality.

Even if he never return her feelings anymore, even if they will soon be parted when the sun rises, he will always have a special place in her memories. The thought hurt her even more to the point that she had to close her eyes to prevent more tears from falling.

Her tears ate at him inside. And it hurt to know that he was the cause of all of these. All that they had been through were his fault – his insecurities, his incapability of loving someone, of keeping someone, and all his flaws. And with his personal issues, the person whose life he valued above all others was the very one who he had hurt the most.

There was a moment of silence in the room with both sides. Relena opened her eyes when Heero tipped up her chin with his finger so that they were eye to eye. He broke the silence. "You said loved."

Relena suddenly recalled her little lie earlier, but then she thought of her fiancé. Just the thought of him being betrayed like this also hurt her. If she was going to let go of Heero, she will have to go forth with these lies. "Yes. Loved, Heero. I loved you."

"Then why did you come see me in the university today?"

"I didn't."

"Since when did you learn how to lie?" he spat.

"I'm not..."

"You were there at the clinic. You came to see me. But you didn't even talk to me or come near me," answered Heero. "If I hadn't been informed that you came, I wouldn't have found you loitering in the colony. You came but you left without a word, why?"

_Because you were busy attending to some other woman, in case you forgot._"Because I realized that I wasn't ready to face you yet," said Relena.

"Why?" challenged Heero.

Why was he doing this? What's the point of this torture? Relena remained silent as she thought of the right words to say.

Heero broke the silence again. "You're tounge-tied."

Relena shot him a look that fused anger and confusion; her tears have stopped falling now.

"You still love me," stated Heero.

A bewildered look briefly crossed Relena's expression when Heero blurted out the words so simply and so matter-of-factly. And the former Gundam pilot knew that he had hit the mark. Relena's right hand was about to hit his cheek for another blow that night, but he was quick enough to hold it with his own, stopping a few centimetres from his skin and brought it down without letting go.

His gaze finally softened and traced a finger, with his free hand, along her jaw line before cupping her cheek and wiping away the wet trail of her tears under her eye. "You can hate me for everything I've done. I deserve all the blame for the cause of your tears. You were right, Relena. You were right about everything, except for one thing..."

"What?"

"I never did forget you."

Gasping at the confession, Relena searched his deep Prussian blue eyes for answers, for anything that can verify his claim. She knew she will find it there, and she did. From the back of her mind, she heard his voice telling her to act on her emotions.

And in one swift movement, her lips were placed on his.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Okay here's the shiznit. I just finished rewatching Gundam Wing, and I saw again how Relena and Heero can be so in control of their emotions during the series. They are both portrayed as strong and collected characters, we all know that. So in this chapter, I wanted to show how a person, despite how strong he/she is, when it deals with someone he/she loves, he/she can also reach their limits and have a breakdown :P

I've always been used to the strong Heero and Relena in the manga and series. So this is my take on their emotional side. I hope I did get that across without making them too out of character. If I didn't, then please do comment. ^^, I admit that I wasn't fully satisfied with this chapter.

Another thing, this chapter is supposed to be longer, but I don't want this to be too overwhelming as it already is, so expect another round of Heero x Relena drama on the next chapter with some fillers.

And lastly, thanks so much for the reviews. I haven't replied to any reviews as of late because of my busy schedule, but I hope to do so soon. It's always great to know what the readers think. :)

Ayt, that's about it! Take care, guys!:)

Credits: Korean lyrics translation to romaji by koreaboba at our BoAjjangforum. "Implode" is from BoA's latest Korean album "Hurricane Venus."


	7. A Little Bit of Good

**Chapter 7: A Little Bit of Good**

"_If time could turn back a little__  
__The last words were, "love is already gone"__  
__Our truth is not melting away__  
__I'm sorry, please listen to me speak again_

_Hear this last plea__  
__One more time, for just a little good__  
__To return here~"_

_~Sukoshi de ii Kara (A Little Bit of Good) by Tenjochiki/CSJH The Grace~_

* * *

"I never did forget you."

Gasping at the confession, Relena searched his deep Prussian blue eyes for answers, for anything that can verify his claim. She knew she will find it there, and she did. From the back of her mind, she heard his voice telling her to act on her emotions.

And in one swift movement, her lips were placed on his.

They both did not even have an idea on who initiated it. It just... happened, and the kiss was unexpectedly rough. Relena closed her eyes the moment their lips made contact with aggression, making her take a step back from Heero's advance. Heero leaned in, deepening the kiss as he placed his left hand at the back of the princess' neck, while his other hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. The sudden contact made Relena feel familiar sensations course through her body – sensations that she only had when she was with this man.

And these sensations took over her, which made her return the kiss with equal fervour, slightly parting her lips for him to explore more of her. Relena then placed her left hand on his neck, while her other hand gripped on to his left shoulder. Her grip was so tight that she felt that she was falling on to a cliff, and that her only saving grace was him. She held on to him for dear life, fearing that if her hand had slipped anytime soon, she will lose him forever.

Each assault that Heero's lips did to hers was different from the kisses they used to share. There was no hesitation on his part this time. It was full of need, driven by lust. Relena felt it that way and considered that this was not the Heero that she used to know. However, it was becoming difficult to resist him as his hand that was on her waist ran up and down her arms, sending electrifying sensations in her body, which made her own hand explore his torso underneath his shirt. Her back hit the glass window as Heero advanced further.

She wanted this. How many times have she fantasized about kissing him again, feeling his skin against her again? How many times have she thought of him holding her like this and so much more? However, now that he was here, alive, with her, it still did not feel right. There was no love here; this was a hunger that needed to be satiated. _After all, he ignored you after he left. He can't still be in love with you._

No, this was not right. The more their hands explored each other's bodies, no matter how pleasurable it was, it was the more Relena's heart ached, realizing that this was not based on love and that... _I'm engaged. I can't do this._

"Heero... don't... please," pleaded Relena in between kisses.

Heero opened his eyes at the sound of Relena's voice and pulled slightly away. His eyes widened with surprise when he saw a tear fell from her eye, which made him snap back to reality, the sensations from the event slowly fading away.

The rain have already stopped by now, leaving the neighbourhood in silence.

Ashamed for losing control, for what he had done, and what could have happened if she had not voiced out her protest, Heero wiped away the tear on Relena's cheek and turned his back on her. "I'm sorry, I crossed the line. I shouldn't have."

When Relena had not made a sound, Heero glanced briefly over his shoulder and said, "The rain has stopped. I'll take you home when the sun rises. You can stay on the bed; I'll be on the floor."

Heero then turned to get his pillow on the bed when Relena finally spoke; she was not crying anymore. "You said you didn't forget me."

He looked at her and nodded. "I didn't. Not ever."

He watched her for her reaction. She did not say anything, but what surprised him was the way she looked at him. It was the first time he had seen her that way. The trusting look that she had always given him, the one that had always given him the strength to fight... vanished.

"You doubt me again," he said, his tone was accusatory. He left the side of the bed to walk again towards her, stopping a few steps away from her, maintaining his distance.

Clouds in the dark sky have cleared, the moon peaking barely behind them, casting its light on the former Gundam pilot's pad through the glass window behind Relena. For a moment, Heero felt like seeing an angel as the moonlighted accentuated the Vice Foreign Minister's features. A burning feeling inside him crept up again, but he had to suppress it. This was not the time.

Relena placed a balled hand on her chest, a habit that she did whenever she was nervous. She looked away from him.

Heero clenched his fists. The thought of losing her trust in him tore him apart, and she was withdrawing herself from him. This was not his Relena. He did not want to invade her personal space like what he had done earlier, but he cannot help it this time. His feet automatically moved and walked towards her.

"Relena, look at me." His finger tipped up her chin so they were eye to eye. He searched her eyes, her soul for that tiny hope that he wanted to hold on to even for just a moment. But it was not there, she had truly lost faith him.

His gaze softened as Relena shivered under his touch; he pulled away. "It wasn't my intention to hurt you. I never wanted to. There were times when I wanted to call you or to just flatly go back in your mansion like what I had done in the past, but I just couldn't... because it's better that way."

He continued, "I fought it. I fought every desire of coming back to you. I'm not the person meant for you, Relena. You can't be with someone who was being chased by the demons of his past, who was hearing the voices of the people he has killed, who could've been the reason of your death so many times before. No, you were born for someone else."

Relena was about to protest when his finger went over her lips to silence her. "But I couldn't. Your memory's all I ever had. I always thought of you, also wondered if you're alright, if you're out there somewhere disobeying your security officers and Lady Une. Nobody compared to you, Relena. It has always been you."

The princess' eyes brimmed with tears as Heero poured his heart out. She still doubted him, yes, but on second thought, Heero wasn't one who would lie. He never did. So there really was no one else? There was no other girl? She should be relieved with the truth, but it gave her even more despair; it would have been easier to tell him of her engagement when he was with someone else. But before she gets the chance to relay her own feelings, she will have to take this chance to extract answers from him.

"I saw you with someone else," she said.

Flashbacks of what happened to the clinic earlier came back to him. _Amber? Did Relena think...? _It was out of line, but Heero chuckled.

"What's funny about it?" asked Relena, her tone mixed with confusion and accusation.

"Sorry," said Heero as he covered his mouth with his hand to suppress the laugh. "You thought I was seeing someone else?"

"Well, yes. It was the only other reason why you would not call me. And I saw you with someone when I went to your school," she defended.

"Amber. You saw me and Amber at the clinic that's why you left?"

_Amber, so that's her name. _"You seem to be having a good time with her, especially when you reached out and held her."

"Relena, I was holding her foot!" said Heero, still seemingly amused with the topic at hand. It was a misunderstanding after all. It's an assumption that will never come true. The woman in front of him was the only one that he had his eyes on. "She was sprained from our training. So I took her there. It wasn't more than that."

Smirking, his finger traced her jawline. "Are you jealous?"

"I'm not," replied Relena immediately. She then pushed him aside and walked past him. Placing a balled hand on her chest again, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking, "Heero, I have something to tell you."

"Hn." The uneasiness in Relena's voice caused Heero change his expression. He was not amused anymore.

Relena turned around so she can face him, but looked at his chest instead. "I'm..." She trembled again and clutched her shirt over her chest before mustering the courage to meet his eyes. "I'm engaged now."

She searched his face for any reaction to her confession. The moonlight only lit half of his face. Despite that, the princess did not see any change in his emotionless expression. He did not even twitch.

"Congratulations," he finally said; his tone monotonous. "So the rumours were true. Congratulations."

_Congratulations. _His words echoed in her mind. _So he accepts it... just like that. _"So you've heard. Thanks, I guess," replied Relena as she forced a smile.

Heero nodded. "It was all over the news. Nathan Walker, right?"

It was Relena's turn to nod. "Yes."

"When's the big day?"

"We haven't talked about the details yet."

"Hn."

Heero ran a hand through his dishevelled mane and felt slightly ashamed of his little confession earlier – that he still harboured feelings towards her, as he had hoped that whatever they ended can be restored again. As if fate could get any crueler, this unexpected blow came. But this was what he wanted. For her to forget him – that was purpose of him leaving her, for him not contacting her. Now that he got what he asked for, why was it so damn painful?

On second thought, she had responded to the kiss earlier. What did it mean then? Relena was never someone who would just go kissing others without any meaning behind it. If he were to let her go, he had to know if her decision will lead her to the happiness that she deserved.

So he asked, "Do you love him?"

"Y-yes," she said. "Yes, I do." Relena wondered if she was saying this more to herself than the man in front of her. "He's a good man."

"Are you happy with him?" asked Heero, still not convinced that Relena's making the right decision. He had seen it her eyes. She should not be thinking of marriage if she still was not sure of her feelings.

It took a few seconds before Relena could respond. "Yes. He works hard for his age, but he always makes time for me. I find happiness with his presence."

"Then we should celebrate," said Heero.

"What?" Relena was dumbfounded at his offer.

"Let's celebrate your engagement. I'm happy for you."

_What happened to 'It has always been you'? _Relena said to herself, thinking of Heero's words earlier, and wondering if he was even hurt by her own confession. But... this was for the best, right? But still, Heero again went back to his usual withdrawn self.

"Oh god, Heero, I'm sorry." Her eyes once more brimmed with tears.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"It's just that... you said... earlier," her voice cracked.

Heero approached her and using both his hands, he wiped reached for her cheeks and wiped the falling tears. "Listen to me, Relena. I know what I said tonight and I'm not going to take them back. However, the most important thing for me is your happiness. And I'm giving you my full support for this marriage. You deserve this."

"How about you?" asked Relena, looking at him with eyes full of concern.

"You really have to give up worrying about me. I'm getting by just fine. Adjusting in a world without battles is still a learning experience for me, but I'll get by. You know I always do," said Heero, wondering if he sounded convincing enough. The words were painful to utter, but it had to be said.

Suddenly, briefly, Heero thought of his days as a soldier where he shut his heart from anything else during battles. That was one of the reasons why he was invincible. Nothing distracted him. Everything went according to his plans. He can destroy everything without giving a second thought about it. But this... this was way different. Right now, the only possible thing that he can destroy was the happiness of one woman. It made him feel weak. He despised himself for it.

_Always so kind. You've always been too kind-hearted, Heero. _And suddenly, the painful thought of Heero not watching over her anymore ate her inside, but she had to let go. Heero had understood, she would be forever thankful for that. "Thank you, Heero. Be happy, too." She smiled a genuine smile.

"That's better," said Heero as he pulled away and walked to sit on the edge of the bed. "When are you going back to Earth?"

"Tomorrow night. After the conference."

"Can I see you one last time tomorrow?" asked Heero. "Just dinner, if you don't mind."

The words 'last time' hurt her, she had to admit, but she smiled anyway. "Dinner is fine. The conference ends by 5 p.m."

"I'll pick you up."

"Sure. I'll write down where I'm staying and which floor tomorrow."

Heero nodded.

A moment of silence passed with the two still rooted on their places. Neither said a word nor moved. It was Heero who broke the silence minutes later. "Relena..."

She looked up at him. And for some reason, her feet moved automatically and then she sat beside him on the bed. "What is it?"

"I have one last favor to ask."

"Anything," she said, giving him a look that mixed confusion and assurance.

"Kiss me. Kiss me one last time," said Heero, his tone devoid of emotion. "I know that it's absurd asking this from an engaged woman, but I promise that this will be the last time."

_Last time... It wouldn't hurt if this will be the last time, right? _Relena asked herself, but then another voice in her head answered for her. _No. It will hurt big time. _Heero's favor was surprising, but tempting. But then again, like he said, it will be the last time.

So she agreed. "Okay."

And in one mirrored movement, their heads moved together, and their lips made contact. Heero's hand reached for Relena's neck as he gently leaned in further and deepened the kiss, which contrasted the aggressive one they had earlier. Relena responded to this as she also placed a hand on his neck.

Heero then broke the kiss, afraid that it could lead to something that he could not control. It was enough for him. He leaned on to her, their foreheads against each other. "Thank you, Relena. It all ends here."

Relena heard his words. He was right. But why did the feel of him still lingered on her lips? Why was her heart still racing so fast? Why did she feel so empty when he pulled away? Why were her thoughts still filled by his profile? So many questions raced on her mind. But right then and there, she knew the answer. And before she knew it, she kissed him again.

The former Gundam pilot was surprised at the princess' initiative, but he found it hard to resist her, so he kissed her back. "Relena..."

Relena pulled away and looked at him, her eyes pleading, "Heero..."

Heero looked at her eyes that were filled with longing, need, and love. Though she never returned the words that he needed to hear from her heart, he knew what she felt. He knew what she wanted. She needed him to make her complete. He saw right through her. She was there offering herself to him, though she had just confessed that she was engaged. And for whatever he said earlier, he knew that he, too, still needed her.

So he leaned again and kissed her. All the feelings that he had long buried resurfaced and he found himself craving more of her. The desire was overwhelming. Not breaking contact, Heero put both his hands on her shoulders and slowly laid her back on the bed, her golden-haired splattered on the sheets.

He lay on top of her, pressing his body against hers. Relena's hand ran through his dark locks, while her other one went under his shirt and explored his chest, which ignited the heat of his body. Her touch had his heart racing and his blood boiling; he had never felt this alive since he left Earth. Heero then broke the kiss and removed his shirt, tossing it behind him.

Relena's hands went up his arms, to his chest, and then to his neck. She slightly went up and nibbled on his ear, and then trailed kisses down his neck. Heero took this chance to reach for the end of his shirt that she was wearing and freed her from it, joining his other shirt behind him. It was only when Heero realized that she was not wearing a bra; it had been soaked by the rain earlier, so her bare chest came to view.

"You're so beautiful," said Heero as Relena laid back again on the bed. "You're the most beautiful blessing that came into my life."

"Heero..." Relena whimpered as Heero kissed her newly exposed skin. One of his hands rubbed her flat stomach and made its way down to her thighs. "I..."

Heero lifted her a bit and placed her head on the pillows against the headboard. A few seconds later, undergarments were then removed, leaving them both sweating and panting. The kisses and hand exploration continued. The pleasure was escalating for the both of them, making them forget what was wrong or right.

Relena moaned louder when the former Gundam pilot's hand brushed against her wet folds, more so when two of his fingers entered her. She arched her back at the contact as his fingers continued to assault her. It did not take long until she reached her peak and trembled like a leaf under him.

Heero then kissed her lips one more time before he positioned himself at her entrance, her legs around his waist. He gave her one more look, one that had both guilt and love meshed together, as he asked for her permission.

"I want you, Heero," whispered Relena, her eyes deep with longing.

Heero took this as a go signal and slowly pushed forward, making her moan again. He continued to push inside her again and again, even when he pressed his body against hers, and placed his head in between her neck and shoulders, kissing her skin. God how he missed her, how he missed how much he felt alive, how much he felt human when he was with her.

Relena's arms encircled him, burying her nails on his back as he continued to make love to her. She, too, had not felt this in a long time. And she also knew that she can only do this with Heero and no one else. Not even to Nathan. Guilt made its way through her mind at the thought of her fiancé.

But sooner or later she knew that, this fantasy, dream, or whatever fake reality this was, will end. Tears formed on her eyes again at the thought of this being their last. Relena kissed the top of Heero's head and moved her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

When they had both reached their peak, Heero remained on top of her as he kissed her again. "I know I haven't said this in the past, and I don't know if this is still the right time to say it. Relena, I lo..."

He was cut off when Relena kissed him again, "Don't say it. You don't have to anymore. I know how you feel." _It's too late for that now, Heero._

Relena knew that if she heard him say those words, she will give in completely. She wanted to say those same words, as well, but Heero never said anything about wanting to be with her again. She knew that much that though he still loves her, he still can't be with her. Heero was not someone who should be tied down. And she was with someone else now.

She tried to brush those things aside. For now, they were together. They adjusted their positions, Heero laid on his back and Relena's head laid on his chest listening to his heartbeat. She then lifted her head moments later and looked at him in the eyes. "Heero..."

He looked at her lovingly and he reached out and tucked her golden locks behind her ear, patiently waiting for what she had to say.

"Thank you for finding me."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Okay! I told you that I'll write another round of Heero x Relena drama, right? Here it is!

First of all, I'm going to ask for forgiveness for this rushed chapter. I don't know what came over me to write in this kind of state. And secondly for the lemon attempt. First time to write one, though I believe it's just mild. I just felt like there should be one for an emotional shiz going on between Heero and Relena. Please comment if I had any shortcomings with this chapter.

Btw, I also submitted a new story. It's a Trowa x Relena this time. So if any of you are interested, check it out. Its title is "Winding Road." Sorry for this shameless plugging. XD

Anyhoo, that's about it. R&R as always! Take care, everyone! :)

**Song lyrics credits:** Romaji: xman150, Translation: CDM at Eternal-Shapley. Link to the website can be found on my profile page. :)


	8. End Roll

**Chapter 8: End Roll**

"_Where are you?  
__Where did you go?  
__Maybe, you went to the far journey  
__with your most precious person_

_And then, I'll be walking  
__You are walking too  
__Even though our roads are different  
__I hope we can shine a light~"_

_~End Roll by Ayumi Hamasaki~_

* * *

Heero had his head tilted up to look at the name of the hotel as he clutched a black velvet box about the size of a book in one hand. _Etude Crystal Hotel. This is it. _He checked his wristwatch for the time realizing how early he was rushing straight to the hotel when his class was dismissed. He leaned on the wall beside the entrance door of the tall building and looked at the sky. It was nearly sunset; the sky was almost indigo. And he found his mind drifting off to what happened that morning.

"_I'm sorry for waking you," said Relena. Her voice was distant. She was no longer beside him. By the slight amount of light coming from outside, the former gundam pilot can only conclude that the sun was just about to rise._

_He sat up, leaned on the bed's headboard, and watched her comb her hair. She was, by that time, fully dressed, wearing the clothes he lent her previously._

"_Are you going now?" asked Heero as he looked at her with penetrating eyes._

_She stopped combing her golden locks and locked eyes with him. "Yes. I have to while it's still early or else everybody will suspect." _

_Heero nodded. "Will I be able to see you before you leave the colony?"_

_Relena smiled and sat beside him on the bed. "Of course you will. I promised last night, right?"_

"_Hn."_

_A moment of silence passed between the two as they stared at each other._

_Relena's fingers curled on her lap when she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach and her heart raced. In front of her was the man who made her feel what love is. Unfortunately, he was not the one whom she will have. And in a matter of seconds, they will drift apart once again. They have always gone their separate ways ever since they met years before. But they have always crossed roads again. However this time the epiphany of them separating this time will change almost everything between them. And it scared her._

_The intensity of his eyes gave her chills. They were the deepest orbs she had ever seen and for the nth time of her life, she was drawn to his eyes. She wondered if she will ever get the chance to see them this close ever again. Unconsciously she reached for his face and tried to brush away his bangs from his eyes. God, how beautiful he looked. He had matured since they had last seen each other. But his eyes were as soft and mysterious as ever. Her fingertips slowly and gently rested on his forehead, still playing with his bangs. It was as if she was under a spell – hypnotized. _

_Heero did not move even when they made contact and just basked in contentment when he felt her fingertips brush ever so softly with his forehead. Without thinking, he said softly, "Don't go."_

_Like a princess who had been under a hypnotic spell, Relena snapped back to reality and pulled her hand away from his face. "Sorry," she said and stood up. She had her back to him. "I'll see you later. I'll meet you at 6 o'clock in front of the Etude Crystal Hotel."_

"_Hn."_

"_I have to go now. My security team's already downstairs." Relena turned to him. She continued to speak, afraid that if she ever gave him the chance to say something, she might find it hard to go. "I don't want to attract attention while getting out. Goodbye for now. Thank you so much for your hospitality last night."_

_She walked towards the door. "I'll repay you someday."_

"_Relena," Heero called out._

_But she did not look back. And in a second, she was out of sight._

Heero checked his wristwatch again when he noticed that the sun was almost out of sight and stars were now visible in the purple night sky. _6:30 p.m. _He looked around but did not see any of her security team or any sign of her. None.

* * *

"Thank you for having me here," said Relena politely as she clasped her hands and bowed slightly at her fellow diplomats.

She made a few handshakes with the elderly pacifists, who were dressed the same as her. Only that, she replaced her slacks with a knee-length skirt. She also had her hair down and sported her usual side braids. After a few more small talks with the diplomats, she finally bid them goodbye and went out the door.

Relena walked along the golden marble floor from the conference room to the lobby of the building. As the Vice Foreign Minister descended the stairs that led to her waiting limousine outside, she stopped on her tracks a few steps away from her car.

"Nathan," she whispered; eyes wide with surprise.

A handsome tall blonde man dressed in a polo shirt and jeans smiled at her. "Hey."

Bewildered, she asked, "Why are you here? I thought you also have meeting in some other place."

"Am I not allowed to see my fiancee when I miss her?" he crossed his arms, the smile did not leave his face.

"Of course you're pretty much welcome to miss me, but how about your meeting?"

"We'll talk about it later. I'm staying overnight here. Why don't we go out for dinner tonight?" said Nathan.

Relena felt cold in an instant._ Tonight? _But she nodded. "Sure."

* * *

Wind blew hard along the streets of L1. How long had he been standing there? By now, the sky had fully become dark and the stars twinkled like crystals. The street lamps were lighted and people moved about. But still, there was no sign of her. Heero looked at his wristwatch again. _8:09 p.m._

For some reason a part of him was worried. _What if something happened at the conference?_ But if anything might have happened, the news would have been disseminated in the small colony. _Or the meeting might have been extended_? But what he dreaded the most was the thought of Relena forgetting their promise. _She couldn't have._

Heero was brought back to reality when he heard a familiar voice call his name. Uncrossing his arms, he lifted his head to lock eyes with the woman who called him. "Amber," he mouthed; his tone monotonous.

"Yo!" the raven-haired girl waved, still dressed in her school uniform. "What are you doing here?"

"Personal reasons," said Heero.

"Oh. Are you waiting for someone?"

"Hn." He nodded.

"By yourself?"

"What does it look like?" he spat.

The girl sighed in defeat. She walked to his side and clasped her hands behind her. "You know sometimes I wonder how your ex-girlfriend put up with you when you're all that mister stoic. She must have loved you a lot to keep up with you."

Heero looked at her. His face did not hold any emotions, but apparently he was surprised at how truthful Amber's words were.

Amber also looked at Heero. "And it also makes me wonder what type of a boyfriend you are." Before Heero can formulate a response, she said, "Just kidding. I have nothing to do tonight anyway so I'll just accompany you."

"Why? You don't have to."

"I don't know. So you won't look like a loner waiting here in a public space, don't you think?"

"I don't mind what others think." Heero looked away.

"Whatever your reasons are, I'm not taking no for an answer. You just let me stay here. I won't be a bother."

"Suit yourself," said Heero when he crossed his arms again.

* * *

"Are you okay?" asked Nathan.

"What?" Relena looked away from the window to her fiancé sitting across the table. They were seated at the corner of an Italian restaurant beside a large window.

"What do you mean 'what'? You look so spaced out. And you haven't even touched your food." He motioned to Relena's still-filled plate.

"Oh, sorry. Just have a lot of things to worry about." Relena forced a smile.

She was agitated at the fact that she promised Heero that they would meet again tonight. And she was not expecting this surprise visit from her fiancé. Moreover, she knew that she will not have the courage to excuse herself from Nathan to see her ex-lover. _But then again, this may be the last time I will see him again. But Nathan is here._

"Something about maintaining the peace between Earth and the colonies?" asked Nathan again.

"Yeah, something like that," she replied wearily and looked at her wristwatch. _8:15 p.m. Oh God, Heero I'm so sorry._

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Everything's been peaceful for years. You're doing really well," encouraged Nathan.

"Thanks."

Relena looked at her reflection in his green eyes and was reminded again of how much the man cared for her. _He truly is handsome_, she thought. With his light complexion, pointed nose, bright smile, soft green eyes, kind heart, and successful career, Relena thought with her fiancé being almost perfect, she should be celebrating. But when she looked at his eyes, it did not exude the same feeling she had towards someone else. And she hated herself for it.

Reminded again of the former Gundam pilot whom she should have been meeting at this time, Relena looked at her wristwatch again. _If only we exchanged cellphone numbers! How can I forget such a thing? Heero, I'm so sorry. _A thousand questions ran in her mind. Will he be waiting for me? What if he had already left?

"Are you in a hurry?"

"Excuse me?" She immediately looked at Nathan.

"You've been looking at your watch for the nth time." He stated. "Do you have something else to do?"

"Not really," she lied. "But I do want to get to the hotel now. I'm really tired."

"I understand. Let me just ask for the bill." Nathan made a gesture to the waitress to ask for the bill.

"Where will you be staying tonight?" asked Relena.

The waitress came over to the table and gave Nathan the bill.

"I was thinking of staying with you," replied Nathan as he handed the waitress a number of paper bills.

"At Etude Crystal?"

"Yes. I was thinking it won't hurt to sleep with my beautiful fiancée, right? Only for one night. Or would you like to me to go some other place?"

Relena shook her head. "No, that's fine."

"Let's go then so you can rest." Nathan stood and offered his hand to her.

Hesitantly, Relena took his hand. _God forgive me._

* * *

"Are YOU sure that you're waiting at the right person, the right time, and at the right place?" said Amber as she began to rub her arms for warmth. The wind was blowing harder. "It's already 8:30!"

"Go home already," said Heero who had his head down and arms crossed.

Amber gave him a disbelieving look. "Were you kicked out of your apartment for some reason and you're waiting for someone here to have you checked in at a hotel?"

Heero gave her a warning look.

"Okay, okay! Bad joke! Geez." Amber sighed in defeat. _I will NEVER get through this guy. _When she looked just ahead of her, her eyes widened. "Oh my goodness!"

Heero looked up when he heard Amber exclaimed and he felt all the blood drain from his face at the sight.

"Miss Relena Darlian?" asked Amber excitedly at the blonde woman who just got off from the limousine parked in front of them.

Relena smiled. "Yes, I am."

"Oh my! I'm a fan of yours. I look up to you a lot! You're amazing!"

"See? I told you you're doing well with your job," said Nathan as he joined the girls and put a hand on Relena's shoulder.

"Nathan Walker!" said Amber as she covered her mouth with her hands, obviously star-struck. "You look even more handsome in person! I'm such a fan. May I take a picture with the two of you?"

"Sure." The two said in unison.

Amber took out her cellular phone from her skirt pocket and looked behind her. "Hey, Heero! Will you take our picture for me?"

At the sound of Heero's name, Relena turned to the man standing just a few feet in front of her and locked eyes with him. She tried to hide her surprise at the fact that _he_ was still there waiting for her. To make things worse, him seeing her with Nathan may lead to a misunderstanding. His face was expressionless as his penetrating eyes bore into her soul. _Don't look at me like that. _Her eyes pleaded a thousand apologies for ditching him. _I don't want us to end like this._

_Heero? _The name sounded familiar. Nathan looked at the tall, brunet behind the girl who claimed to be his and Relena's fan. He watched the man look at his fiancee with eyes that seemed they could kill. His grip on Relena's shoulders tightened.

"Give me the phone," said Heero as he approached the three.

Amber handed Heero her phone, already set on camera mode, before positioning herself between the couple. Nathan and Relena parted to make way for the raven-haired girl. Both of them placed their hands on both of her shoulders and smiled for the camera.

Heero held the phone with his right hand and secured the black velvet box with his other. He took one last look at the three before looking at Relena at the camera screen. And then he pressed the shutter button.

"Thank you!" said Amber to the couple. "Heero, would you like a picture with them two? That is if you don't mind," she added, shifting her gazes from Heero to Nathan and Relena.

"I'll pass," said Heero. His eyes now focused on Nathan. If looks can kill, then just by the look that the former Gundam pilot gave Nathan, the blonde man might have been buried six feet under the ground by now.

"Is he your boyfriend, Miss?" asked Nathan as he tried to be oblivious from the Prussian eyes who seemed to be scrutinizing him.

"Yes!" replied Amber. "And my name is Amber, pleased to meet you."

"Amber." Relena repeated the name. _The girl on the phone. The girl in the clinic with Heero. His girlfriend. _"It's a pleasure to meet you." Relena held out her hand for Amber to shake. "And your boyfriend." She looked at Heero as she smiled. Heero clenched his fists.

Amber shook hands with Relena delightedly. "God bless your trip back to Earth tomorrow, Miss Relena."

"Thank you," said Relena.

"Oh and we should be going now," said Amber as she wrapped her hands around Heero's arm. "I'm sorry for bothering the two of you. We'll be going now. Thanks for the photo!"

Nathan waved at the girl. "Likewise. Take care."

Amber was practically half-dragging Heero who gave Relena one last look before fully turning his back on her.

"Cheerful girl, huh?" Nathan complimented. "Relena?"

Relena was still looking ahead at Amber and Heero until they were out of sight. "Oh, sorry," she said when she caught Nathan looking at her.

"Shall we go inside now?"

"Nathan, I have something to do. I'll be back right away. Don't send anyone for me. I'll be back later, promise."

With that, she ran.

It was the same thing that Heero did the day before to find her. And now it was her turn to do the same. She ran. _We can't end like this. _How many times had she chased after him all over the world since they met? She had chased him across borders, and she ended up finding him. They always ended up together. Then why did she feel so unsure when they were both just in the same colony? _Please let me see him._

Turning to a corner where she last saw the two, Relena let out an exasperated breath. She was now in a dark alley, but she was positive the two figures in front of her were them. She called out. "Heero!"

Amber and Heero both turned around at the sound of her voice.

"Miss Relena!" said Amber as the Vice Foreign Minister approached the two.

But Relena did not take notice of her. She walked directly in front of Heero.

"I'm sorry for making you wait. I didn't know he'd be here," said Relena, her cerulean eyes locked with Heero's Prussian blue ones.

Heero shook his head. "I didn't wait long, don't worry about it. I just brought your clothes from last night. I left it at the lobby girl." His tone was monotonous, his face expressionless.

Amber looked at Heero and Relena back and forth with intense curiosity. Just a few minutes ago, the two looked like they just met for the first time. But now, Relena Darlian just called him by his first name and were conversing like they do know each other personally. _What clothes? What last night?_

"Thanks," said Relena. "Oh wait, your clothes!"

"Keep them. It's not a big deal," said Heero.

Relena did not argue. Heero's clothing would be a nice send parting gift. She will wear it forever. "I'm really sorry." She did not know for what reason she was apologizing, but she felt that she had to say it.

"I told you, I didn't wait long. I got there a few minutes before you arrived. It's nothing," insisted Heero as he put his hands in his jeans pocket.

Silence surrounded them for a moment. Relena tried to think of words to say – anything that can just prolong her moment with him. Never mind that he was with his so-called girlfriend. _ Just tell me you want to be with me then I'll give up everything, _Relena thought. She knew Heero's feelings, but still, he did not say anything about actually wanting to be with her. It will be futile for him to say those words.

So this was it. They have reached the end. It was time to admit defeat.

"So this is goodbye?" asked Relena.

Heero nodded. "You take care."

"I will." Relena balled her fist on her chest. Somehow, the thought of Heero not watching over her anymore still pricked her heart.

"I mean it," said Heero. "Don't get yourself in danger."

Relena felt her eyes get watery, but she did all she can to hold back the tears. "Take care, too. Don't blow anything up."

Heero's eyes smiled, if not his lips. "I promise. Not anymore. You should get back now. It's getting late. Your fiance's waiting."

Relena frowned at his last sentence, but she still managed to extend her hand to him. Heero held her hand and squeezed it lightly.

Relena returned the gesture and tightened her hold on his warm hand. She did not want to let go. Not now, not ever. But they had to. They had their own lives now. Before anything can get out of hand, she pulled her hand away.

"Goodbye, Heero," she said before facing Amber who was beside him. "Be happy with him." With that, the Vice Foreign Minister turned her back on the couple.

Amber, who had just witnessed the whole interaction, looked at Heero as he waited until Relena was out of sight. "What was that? You know each other after all?"

Heero turned around and began to walk away. "Forget what you saw tonight."

"Wait!" Amber walked with him, determined to seek answers. "So it was Miss Relena whom you were waiting for? Why did you say that you didn't wait long for her?"

Heero kept silent.

"Was she your ex from Earth that you were telling me about?"

"The only one," said Heero before throwing the black velvet box in the trash bin he passed by. "Good night, Amber." Without looking back, he placed his hands in his pants pocket. And a tear escaped his eye.

_Heero and Vice Foreign Minister Darlian were lovers? How did that happen? Why did they break up? Who would have thought? _Amber tried to absorb the scene that she had witnessed. Heero once said that he had a girl on Earth, but he'd rather not talk about it. And based on his conversation with Relena Darlian earlier, it was all clear that the two have shared histories. Moreover, he acknowledged it just now. But how come they both acted like they were complete strangers when they were in front of the hotel?

She pressed a palm on her forehead. "Why did I tell them that Heero's my boyfriend? Miss Relena must have thought that we're together!" _But... is it also because of Mister Nathan? Did Miss Relena leave Heero for Nathan Walker?_

Amber sighed in frustration. "How did this happen?"

As she was about to walk home, she noticed the box that Heero threw at the nearby trash bin. _He was holding this a while ago. _Curiosity took over her and she picked up the box. She opened the box like a child who was opening her first Christmas present.

"Oh my!" was all she said at the sight of the contents of the box. "Why, Heero?"

* * *

The loud banging on the door awoke Heero. _Who the hell? _He sat up and checked the wall clock. _6:30 a.m. Maybe I should break my promise of not killing anymore just this once. _The banging on the door continued. The former Gundam pilot angrily opened the door. "What the hell do you want?"

"Why aren't you up yet?" said Amber loudly, already dressed in their school uniform.

"What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same question! What are you still doing here? Miss Relena will be leaving anytime soon and you're still here!" Amber's voice increased an octave higher; her fists were clenched.

"This is none of your business. And don't cause a commotion here. Not everyone's awake," said Heero flatly.

Amber flushed in embarrassment and looked around for any sign of people who might have heard her. "You should see her."

"We already said our goodbyes last night. You saw it. And I'll appreciate it if you'll not talk about it with anyone."

"But... you still love her, right?" whispered Amber. "Listen, she might still be in love with you, too!"

"She has Nathan Walker. Not me. You don't know what we've been through." Heero paused, his tone became softer. "I appreciate the concern. But no, I will not see her off. It's for the best. See you in school." And he closed the door.

* * *

"All set?" asked Nathan when they both got off the limousine.

"Yes," replied Relena as she clutched her hand bag.

They were now at the airport entrance to leave for Earth; both were dressed in casual clothing. When they were about to enter the automatic glass doors, someone called out, "Miss Relena!"

Relena turned to the source of the voice and found a running Amber approach them. Standing in front of the Vice Foreign Minister, Amber panted as she tried to catch her breath.

"Are you alright?" asked Relena.

"I need to talk to you just a few minutes," said Amber. She gave Nathan a pleading look.

The blonde man took the cue. "Relena, honey, I'll go an ahead. Will see you in a few." He turned to Amber. "Nice to see you again, Miss." Then he entered through the glass doors.

When Nathan was out of sight, Relena began, "What is it that you want to talk about?"

"Here." Amber handed Relena the black velvet box that Heero threw the night before. "I don't know what happened between the two of you, but I think all the answers are inside that box."

Relena stared at the velvet box on her hand. "What is this?"

"It's his," stated Amber, who was also looking at the box. "I believe he wanted you to have it."

"He's not coming, is he?"

"I don't really know."

Relena nodded in understanding. "Thank you for this. Though I still don't know what it contains. My security team may probably inspect this," she laughed.

Amber smiled. "Oh and by the way..."

"Yes?" Relena's attention was on the raven-haired woman.

"I'm not his girlfriend," whispered Amber.

Relena chuckled. "But you're his friend, right? Just always be there for him. He's a tough guy on the outside, but he has a kind heart. I'm sure you know that by now."

Amber made circles with her feet. "Yeah. But at times he's just so... withdrawn."

"That's one of his charms," said Relena. "I'd better be going now. Thank you so much again."

"It's a pleasure," replied Amber. "Goodbye, Miss Relena."

"Just call me Relena." The Vice Foreign Minister said her final farewell to Amber and before she stepped through the glass door, she said, "Take care of him for me."

* * *

**Author's Note! **

I finally updated this one! Whew!And I must say that this may probably be my worst chapter :( Classes already began here in our country again so my fanfic writing "skills" became rusted. So please do forgive me :( I also apologize for the slow updates. Being a college senior this time and other commitments sure do eat up my time. Sorry, too, if I haven't done any review reply for the past month. I've been busy. And the same goes to those who left reviews in my other stories. I will surely respond... someday :p

So anyhoo, what do you guys think of this chapter? I think there's only one more chapter left for this one... Or two if I end up getting lazy writing a long chapter for the next one. XD Haha.

Anyway, R&R guys! Take care! Until the next/final chapter! Ja! :)

**Song Credits: **Megchan for translating Ayumi Hamasaki's Japanese lyrics to English :)


	9. Love Letter

**Chapter 9: Love Letter**

"_I want to love you, tell you, feel you closer to me  
__Love letter from my heart  
__Love letter for your smile  
__I want tell you about this love~__"_

_-Love Letter by BoA_

* * *

The couple, standing on the porch of Relena's mansion in Brussels, arrived on Earth in the evening after a fourteen-hour travel from the L1 colony cluster.

"I will bring your suitcase to your room, Miss Relena. And I will have the maids unpack your clothes for you. You look tired," said Pagan, Relena's butler, as he entered the mansion.

"Yes, Pagan. Thank you," responded Relena as she stood rooted at the porch of the mansion, watched until her butler was no longer in sight before turning around to face her fiancé. A tired smile appeared on her face when the blonde businessman came up to her on the porch.

"Thank you for bringing me home," said Relena.

Towering over her, Nathan smiled, looking pretty much awake. "Of course. I wanna make sure you got here safely."

She frowned. If not her lips, then it was her eyes as she looked at the man in front of her. He was beautiful. With his short, blond hair with bangs that hung over his emerald green eyes, he who stood gracefully and gave off a charismatic aura, he could have been a prince from a fairy tale. A kind prince who was the most suited to sweep the princess off her feet.

Indeed, he was too kind, thought Relena. Her mind drifted to their time together in the shuttle on the way back to Earth. Nathan did not say anything, or anything related to what had transpired outside the hotel earlier. He did not bring it up, though she knew that he already had an idea about Heero and her. Instead, he just held her hand all throughout the trip as they sat side by side, all the while starting conversations that he knew will divert her attention.

"Relena?" the sound of his voice brought her back to reality.

A sudden cool breeze of the evening blew, making Relena shiver despite having her coat on her. Nathan reached out and lightly touched her cheek.

"You're cold," he said.

Ignoring Nathan's statement of the obvious, it was the concerned look in his eyes that bothered her even more. She had to let this out. He had to know about what she did in L1. He deserved an explanation for her actions. She had to explain. He had to understand.

She breathed in. "Nathan, I'm sor..."

"Ssshhh..." Nathan lifted his hand to lightly press on Relena's lips to silence her. When she had closed her mouth and looked at him with surprise, he removed his finger.

"We'll talk tomorrow when you're already well-rested."

"But..."

"Rest," said Nathan in a gentle yet commanding tone. "I'll see you tomorrow." He patted her head.

Relena gave a grateful smile, her eyelids beginning to feel heavy with drowse. "Good night."

Nathan leaned and kissed her forehead. "Good night. I love you."

Relena closed her eyes and took in his words. "I love you, too."

* * *

She woke up earlier than she had intended on the following day. In all honesty, the term early was understatement. The sun still had not even risen yet, and the moon light was still filtered through her curtains. She could not sleep a wink.

Shifting to a sitting position, Relena leaned against the headboard of her bed and reached for the teddy bear nuzzled beside her. As she held the fluffy stuffed animal in her hands, a million thoughts and flashbacks flooded her mind.

She thought of him.

In just two days a lot of things happened, she pondered. In just two days on a colony miles and miles away, her world had already turned upside down... again. It was nerve-wracking how one night can alter and reveal just how much emotion she had buried deep inside – feelings that she thought she had long forgotten.

_I never even thought that I'd see him again, _Relena admitted to herself. L1 was an enormous colony cluster. The probability that she will ever bump into him was minimal. Even so, who knows that he would have actually been staying there? Still, he had found her. As he always did. And also like what it had always been, they were separated again. Only this time, she was the one who left.

_It's for the best, right? _Relena tried to convince herself. She considered the whole situation and evaluated her feelings for the two men in her life. No matter how she looked at it, it was unfair to Nathan who had been nothing but loving and supportive of her. He had always been there ever since Heero left. He stood by her during the times when she needed someone to be with her when her work got the best of her, when her loneliness made her feel alone. He stood by her even when she kept on pushing him away at first.

She loves Nathan, yes. She had always loved his presence. Nathan had always carried a contagious smile that does not fade and a prince-like aura, grace, and heart that made him popular among both females and males of all ages. He made her smile. He made her laugh. He treated her well. Even her foster mother adored him. He truly loved her.

His parents were equally kind, happy, and attractive people, as well. They treated her with such kindness and Relena was grateful for it. If there was anyone who she should be grateful for, it was Nathan.

But somehow, no matter how she weighed her emotions, there was still something missing. Someone continued to outweigh the other. Still, she was a woman who had needs. And Nathan loved her. She loved him, too, up to some extent. And with that, she believed that if given more time, she will gradually loosen up and truly become herself with him.

She firmly held on to that belief and was willing to turn it into fruition until she saw _him _again. The moment she laid eyes on her former lover on the street, Relena felt her world crumble down. The emotional barrier that she had put up in between herself and the rest of the world, the firm belief of having a happy future with her fiancé, the lie that she had been telling herself that her world would still be complete without _him – _everything. Everything fell apart. She still loved _him. _And there was no one else who can make her feel whole but _him._

She knew _he _loved her too. But after years of being together since they were fifteen years old, Relena knew _him _well enough to know that even if _he_ did love her, _he_ will opt to choose not to stay with her. _He _was a man who cannot be tied down to anything or anyone. And was someone who prioritized work over anything else, even more than his emotions. That was their reality. But no matter how her heart ached, she wondered where all her tears had gone.

Thinking that she will not be sleeping anytime soon, Relena stood up and fumbled for some things in her closet given the darkness in the room. It did not take long for her to find what she was looking for, in less than a minute; she stared at the velvet box, the one that Amber had given to her on the day before she left L1.

_I believe he wanted you to have it, _Amber's voice echoed.

The pacificist princess sat on her bed, with the box on her lap, and turned on the lampshade on the bedside drawer. Now she was reminded of Pandora who opened the box that unleashed all the evils of the world. With quivering fingers, not surely knowing what she would anticipate inside that Heero would want her to have and how this could possibly affect her, she opened the box. A curious look passed on the princess' features as she looked at a number of folded sheets of paper inside.

She reached for the paper atop the whole pile and began unfolding it. As the black ink on the paper unravelled, Relena felt something twitch in her chest. Her eyes hovered on the contents of the paper, clearly making out the penmanship of her former lover, and that was when her tears found its way out of her eyes. She placed the paper beside her to unfold one more. This one had shorter scribbles, not even filling the whole paper. And that was when it her, these were Heero's unsent letters... to her.

It suddenly became difficult to breathe for her as tears blurred her vision. She fished in the box for another paper, as she tried to compose herself. Unfolding the paper, she began to read. More rivulets of tears fell as she began to read one letter after the other with haste. It was as if she was picking up fragments of the past –_their _past- and putting them all together to make it whole, in spite of all the cracks in between.

_I may never have said it before, but the roses do indeed make my room better. I still buy at least three of them a week in a small shop near school. Though I couldn't really take care of anything properly, buying roses has become a habit. They remind me of you._

Even in written communication, Heero was still short for words. Still, to Relena, his short messages were already enough to last her a lifetime.

_Don't ever blame yourself about me leaving. Just stay the way you are. And if we ever see each other again, just smile at me like you always do._

The princess read letter after letter, if two or three sentences could even be considered to comprise a letter. The letters, she realized, were written for the first eight months since he left – until she and Nathan made their relationship official. Which was why she was surprised to see a letter that dated... the day before she left the L1 colony cluster recently. She read on.

_I knew this day would come. Only this time, you would be the one to leave._

_Do you remember the time when you asked me if I believe in soul mates? At that time I said that you can't find your soul mate at the age of fifteen. You frowned. Relena, I said that it's because I already met her when I was eight years old. I was the boy who went to St. Gabriel when you were in elementary school. We've crossed paths before. And seven years later, we met again on the beach. It has always been you. You were right; the war brought us together. _

_If there is such a thing called fate or destiny, then I can convince myself that there is no need for goodbyes. We are connected, Relena. We are bound by something that is out of our control, I understand that now. And I do believe that we will see each other again. Whether it may be in this life or to our next life, we will cross paths again. If that time comes, then maybe, just maybe, we may be able to dance again with the roses blooming around us beneath the stars. By then, maybe we can be together._

_I've grown accustomed to ordinary school life now. There is no more need to worry about me, if you still are. Just focus on doing what you can for the good of the Earth Sphere for you are the best person for the job. And I will be here, on the other side of the universe, cheering you on._

_I don't believe in wishes or miracles, but now I truly wish you happiness with Nathan. Seeing you again yesterday was more than I could ask for, but it is time to let go. I've hurt you more than once, and it is unfair and wrong of me to complicate your life any further. For that, I apologize. I never meant to hurt you._

_When you move on, when you finally get married, have children and grandchildren, and even the years after that, our hearts will still be connected. _

_Until we meet again._

_Heero_

She could not remember at what part of Heero's letter did her tears spill like fountains, or when her whole body crashed on to the mattress, or the moment when she buried her face on a pillow, while holding on to the paper for dear life. If they weren't in this bittersweet fairytale, she would have laughed at the cheesiness of his letter. It was the opposite.

So he did try to contact her. That much became clear. Relena was angered by it at first, until their conversation in his pad not too long ago hit her. He had his reasons. He had made his choice. And so did she. They were not the fifteen-year olds anymore who used to bump into each other and talk like they had not been apart for months.

Lying on the bed, she couldn't even remember how much she read the letter again and again. The only things that she can remember were his scent against her skin and the pain of losing him again. For the first time in years, Relena Darlian cried herself to sleep.

* * *

If there was anyone who have seen Relena Darlian the previous night, he would have been beyond surprised to see her already dressed up ready for work and chewing on her breakfast early in the morning, save for traces of her reddened, swollen eyes. A few minutes later, she went to her car and hurried off to work.

The Vice Foreigner entered her office, placed her suitcase by her desk, and opened the laptop. She did a report on her latest conference in the L1 colony, reported it to the Foreign Minister, and went through a lot of meetings that day. To the eyes of her co-workers, this was what Relena had been ever since she took on this job. And this routine continued even in the days after that. Work came first above all others. Oftentimes her half-British fiancé would come to her office to join her for lunch break. People from the office would go about gushing over the tall, young businessman. Much to Relena's delight, she enjoyed having his presence as he became her escapism from her tiresome work.

One day Nathan insisted that they eat at a restaurant, and not in Relena's office.

"Mother's here. She's excited to see you," said Nathan as he stood in front of her desk with his hands in his coat pockets.

The Peacecraft princess lifted her gaze from her laptop to face her fiancé and smiled. "She's here? I haven't seen her for a long time! Wait, let me just fix my things."

She shut down her computer and neatly arranged the pile of papers on her desk. "What brings her here?"

"She said that she wants to discuss some things with you."

"Like what?"

Nathan shrugged. "She didn't say. Don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure it's good news."

"She's not going to say now that she doesn't want me to be her daughter-in-law, won't she?" Relena picked up her purse and stood beside Nathan.

Nathan held her hand and kissed it. "Not a chance."

* * *

"Relena, darling!" exclaimed an Asian woman that looked to be in her late 40's as she sat at a table for four in the corner of a fine dining restaurant.

"Auntie!" replied the Vice Foreign Minister as she extended her arms to lightly embrace the woman who had called her.

"Now how is my beautiful daughter-in-law to be?" the woman said as they pulled away. "Still busy as always I presume?"

Relena smiled and sat across the table. "It hasn't changed."

"Hi, mom." Nathan gave her mother a quick peck on the cheek.

"Oh hi, darling." She kissed her son on the cheek as well.

"It's good to see you again, mom," said Nathan, sitting beside Relena.

"It's good to see you, too, dear. Both of you. Now go, order anything you like. Everything will be on me." She turned to Relena. "Relena, dear, you look so skinny! Is that what work has done to you? You better eat a lot, alright? I'll get mad if you don't."

"I'll try," replied Relena, and couldn't help but smile at the concern of her soon-to-be-mother-in-law. It really had been a long time since she last saw her. Looking at the 47-year old Japanese woman, Relena thought that Mrs. Nancy Walker didn't look like someone in her 40's. She almost can be mistaken as Nathan's sister, especially when she smiles. Both she and Nathan possessed contagious smiles and a nice countenance that seemed to welcome everybody. She felt at ease.

Relena picked up the menu on the table and went over the entrees section, feeling the need to binge after having a stressful week at work. Nathan and his mother's voices were the only things she heard. After fifteen minutes of waiting, their orders had arrived, with Relena having beef tenderloin. They talked over how she was going to be travelling back to space on a different colony on the following month, how the profits of the Walker's business on the 3rd quarter of the year had increased, and how the Darlians were managing the day care center and school they have built, something that her widowed mother had been taking care of for the past few years.

The food on the Vice Foreign Minister's plate had almost been emptied. When she had devoured her last piece of meat, it was when Mrs. Walker asked "Now when will the wedding be?" Relena choked at the question.

"Are you alright?" asked Nathan as he handed her fiancée a glass of water and patted her back lightly.

"I'm fine." Relena wiped her lips with the table napkin, wondering if she was trying to convince herself or the Walkers with her statement. She looked up. "Where were we?"

"The wedding, sweetheart." Nancy Walker looked from her son to her future daughter-in-law, picking up something from their silence. "Don't tell me you haven't really planned anything yet, have you?"

"Well, not really yet," answered Nathan. He glanced at Relena. "We haven't got the time to discuss it yet since we announced our engagement."

"But it has been months already!"

"Mooom," said Nathan, trying to calm her down.

She sighed. "Oh, alright. Am I that obvious for being too excited on the idea of a grandchild?"

If Relena were still chewing on a beef, she would have choked the second time with the question.

"Now." Mrs. Walker pulled out a folder from the paper bag beside her, and handed it to Relena.

"What is this?" asked Relena.

"Take a look."

Relena did as she was told. She flipped the cover page of the folder to reveal an illustration of a well-designed wedding gown. Turning the pages with a bit of haste, Relena could only stare in awe of the designs that she realized she was supposed to be thinking about, and that her getting married still had not sunk in. "These are beautiful," she said more to herself, as she browsed at more designs and Nathan leaning closer so he could also take a glimpse.

"But of course they are." Mrs. Walker was pleased at the positive reactions of the couple's faces. "Since I had already predicted that you two will be too busy to remember that you are engaged, I might as well step in to help for a bit. I made a call to some of the best wedding gown designers in the country. If there is anything that will catch your fancy, just tell me, okay? And I'll make the necessary arrangements."

"Thank you so much." Relena closed the folder. "I'm sorry you had to do this for us."

"Oh no!" said Mrs. Walker. "It's totally fine with me. I've got lots of time anyway." She crossed her arms. "But, I would appreciate it if you both would decide on the wedding date at least. I want to be a grandmother as soon as possible."

When the clock had struck 1 p.m, the couple bid Nathan's mother goodbye. They exchanged hugs, and the couple were the first to depart and promised her son that they will see each other again in a few days before she will return to England.

* * *

Nathan drove Relena back to her work place. When they had pulled over in front of the building, Relena said, "It's really nice of your mom for this," referring to the folder she was holding.

"Hey..."

"Maybe we are too busy. Maybe _I _have been too busy lately," murmured Relena with a tone of guilt.

Nathan removed his hand from the steering wheel and placed it on Relena's cheek instead. "Don't say that. It's not your fault. We both are too busy, but we will find the time, okay?"

Hesitantly, Relena nodded. "I promise I won't run for the Foreign Minister position in the next election."

Nathan chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Can I see you tonight?"

"Sure. I'll be out by 7."

"Sounds great," said Nathan before Relena stepped out of his car.

Relena watched until Nathan's car was no longer in sight. She was about to turn and head back to the building when a breeze blew against her, the air redolent with the scent of roses. And there on her feet were scattered rose petals. She gave an incredulous look at the red petals, wondering where they had come from considering that there were no signs of nature in the streets.

_We are connected, Relena._

Clutching the folder, under her arm, she hastily turned around and went inside the building. She passed by her co-workers and merely nodded when everyone she passed by greeted her, even her own assistant. Passing by her assistant's desk, Relena fished in her pocket for her key and unlocked the door to her office.

Once inside, she closed the door behind her, leaned on the wooden object, and closed her eyes. Even in her room, the scent of roses filled her senses. It was evocative.

_In rose... Did you ever hear of it? The ancient Germanic tribes thought of roses as symbols. If blood red roses flowered on the grave markers of the dead, it meant that the person's soul had transcended death and gone on to live again. Just like the Earth and the Colonies are now. And that's why this place is perfect for the signing of the treaty that bans all weapons._

The former Gundam pilot's words from After Colony 197 resonated in her mind vividly.

'_In rose', the symbol of happiness, and 'Sub-rosa', latin for 'under the roses' means a well-kept secret. And this is our own secret._

The memory hurt her like a paper cut. She embraced the folder tightly and pressed it against her chest, if in some way it could help ease the pain even for just a second. This was how it should be: Nathan over _him._

She stared at the ceiling, wondering at how in his absence she could still feel his presence.

* * *

**Author's note:**

Hi! Omg, finally after six(?) months, I've finally updated this! I apologize for the delay in updating . Thesis and internship are killing me. Well, I'm back on track and I do hope that you guys are still interested in this.

So there, take care everyone! I promise I won't leave this stagnant anymore. :)

P.S.

The "In Rose" mentions were taken from the manga Gundam Wing: Ground Zero. And he Love Letter english translation credit goes to Kiwi Musume.


	10. Together When

**Chapter 10: Together When...**

"_We started to walk calmly and determinedly  
With the same scar in our hearts  
With our backs to each other  
Without looking back_

_I wanted to say 'I love you'  
I couldn't say 'I love you'  
But I feel it was both my biggest lie  
And the truth~"_

~Together When... by Ayumi Hamasaki~

* * *

With her cellular phone on one hand and a pile of papers on the other, Relena entered her office with haste. "But I'm not leaving the L3 colony cluster until August," she answered back on the phone. "I can't be on two colonies at once. And I still have a meeting with the delegates a week before that." She made her way around her table and dumped the piles of papers on the mahogany surface. "All right, please keep me posted. Thanks." Relena ended the call and set her phone aside.

She then sat down and tried to massage her temples in slow circles. The day was just beginning, and she was already feeling so stressed. She sighed, and just when she was about to open her laptop, she noticed a blue _Post-It _sheet on the corner of her table. Curiously, she leaned further and read the script handwriting: _Take it easy. Remember to breathe once in a while. Call me anytime whenever you need to unwind. I love you. -Nathan_

A smile cracked on her lips. _His penmanship is even better than mine. _She removed the paper from the corner and held it in between her pointing finger and thumb by its adhesive side as she read the note several times. This was the first time that Nathan had done this kind of thing. And it felt different. It felt nice. And then she was reminded of how grateful she was with him by her side.

The only peculiar thing that Relena saw in this was that leaving simple notes like these were some of her fancies that she had not expressed openly, which was why this came as much as a surprise to her. And the paper was blue – her true favourite color, not pink. Maybe Nathan truly did pay attention to every act she did? Or did he just stalk her?

Looking back, Heero did this often. No, often would be an understatement. He did that a lot when, as a Preventer, he had to be assigned in distant places may it be countries or colonies. Sometimes it happened in the middle of the night in which he could not bid Relena a proper goodbye for he did not want to disturb her when she slept. That was why he always resorted to leaving simple notes on her desk or bedside table. Notes that though they were lacking in length, the message they conveyed were enough to suffice for the times that he was not by her side, especially during the days when she needed someone to take care of her as a woman, and not as a public figure.

With her gaze hovering over the note, Relena reminded herself that it was Nathan who sent this. She couldn't, wouldn't deny the moment her heart leapt and raced intensely at the sight of the blue paper, only thinking of one person who could have sent it. A tinge of guilt and disappointment then struck her as she saw the name of her fiancé. _You should really get this out of your system, Relena, _she told herself, as well as the plan that she will have to call and thank Nathan later.

A cold breeze then blew against her back. Once again, she smelled the pungent scent of roses in her room. Turning around, the window was open. But it was not the first thing that she saw. Instead, her attention was on the white vase by the sill that was filled with red roses. She stood up and touched the soft petals. This; this couldn't have been Nathan's doing, as well, right? She had never told him that she used to keep roses in her room, that the scent and sight of the flowers were one of those that can easily relieve her of stress.

Just when the flicker of hope ignited in the depths of her heart, it had been gone too soon when the intercom buzzed on her table all of a sudden that she almost jumped. Turning around, she pressed the red, flashing button. "Yes, Chris?"

Chris, her secretary, answered. "Miss Relena, the budget proposal for the new laboratory facility in Mars had been returned. The Foreign Minister had already signed it."

Relena let out a deep breath. At least something good came out of this day. "Thank you, Chris. I'll see them later."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Oh, and Chris?" Relena glanced at the roses over her shoulder. "Do you happen to know who left the roses in my office?"

"It's your fiancé, Miss Relena. Mr. Walker came in early today to leave them there. I'm sorry I thought you knew."

"All right. It's okay," said Relena.? "That is all, thank you." She let go of the intercom button and sighed. Who else who would have sent it but him and only him? Maybe, just maybe, that Nathan was her soul mate after all. If so, then could everything that had transpired that assumingly brought her and Heero together happened just so she can meet Nathan?

Another ringing tore her from her reverie, this time it came from her cellular phone. She hastily picked up her phone, not bothering to check who had called. "Hello?"

"Oh, Relena, dear, you could have told me first hand!" Mareen Darlian, her foster mother cried out at the other end of the line.

"Mom? Told you what?"

"About your wedding date!"

"Nathan and I haven't talked about the date of the wedding. What are you saying?" answered Relena.

"Have you seen the news just now?"

* * *

The sound of heavy footsteps reverberated along the hallway of the university despite the noisy atmosphere brought about by students coming out of their classrooms for lunch. The raven-haired girl made a turn on a corner that led to the cafeteria. Swinging the double doors that led to the university's colossal food haven, the girl stalled for a while and put her hands on her hips. She scanned the crowd with a scowl. Almost all of the several round tables neatly aligned in rows were occupied by the students, and the line to the food counter was long enough to reach the entrance behind her. Students walked in and out of the place not before casting her side-eyed glances as she obliviously almost blocked the entrance. When her gaze focused on a table located at the corner of the cafeteria, she hastily approached the lone fellow situated there, like a predator about to attack her prey.

"What the heck is the meaning of this?" an angry Amber pounded on the table, almost spilling the water from the glass, with a paper clutched in her hand. People around them started to look at her, thinking if she were crazy or not, before resuming to their chit-chats and eating.

The brunet looked up from his plate of vegetables and rice with a stern look, unfazed by the outburst. "It's what it is. I'm quitting from the team."

Amber placed her other hand on the table to lean closer. "Let me rephrase. Why the heck are you quitting?"

"Personal reasons." Heero took a sip from the cup. "I talked about it with Coach. He understood my situation. And he's fine with it."

"You can't just quit like that. Like, all of a sudden! We have a league coming up, and you're one of our bests! Zack and the others will be furious!"

Heero looked at Amber directly. "Train hard. Practice hard. You guys will make it."

Amber shook her head. "Personal reasons? Is this because of what happened the other day? With the Vice Foreign Minister? If this has anything to do with your romance..."

Before Amber could finish her sentence, Heero gave her a glare that would have burned holes on her skin. It frightened her. She was about to speak again until the news from the television that hung against the wall near the cafeteria entrance mentioned the name Relena Darlian.

The two simultaneously diverted their attention at the news channel that featured the footage from when Relena Darlian and Nathan Walker announced their engagement. Relena looked stunning in her purple dress, while beside her was the equally stunning young businessman who also waved at the crowd. The video then changed to feature Nancy Walker, the mother of Nathan, dressed fashionably like a woman not in her 40's would. She bubbly faced the cameras and the headline read: _Vice Foreign Minister to Wed Businessman Fiancé in Three Months._

In his 20 years of existence, it was only at this moment of his existence did he truly understand just how words could scar. He had jumped from a cliff, self-detonated in his Gundam, been shot by a bullet, and so much more. Still, he had survived and had tolerated the physical injuries like they were just bites of ants. So how then could nine words seem like to stab him to death?

The video showing Nathan's mother enthusiastically leaking to the press about how soon her son and Relena's wedding was going to be was not helping either.

Though Heero's face remained emotionless and he had not uttered a word, Amber could tell just how much the news would have possibly scarred him deep down. When the news then changed to a local actor's next film, she heard a number of students in the cafeteria talking about how perfect of a couple Relena Darlian and Nathan Walker is.

Amber looked at Heero with guilt. Her drive to know his reason for leaving the track and field team was gone. She even wanted to smack herself for going too far by blaming his screwed up love life with woman she admired the most. She opened her mouth to apologize; however Heero immediately stood, walked past her, and went out of the cafeteria without so much as a word or a glance.

* * *

"Really, I apologize. I also knew of it when the board members called me that we're getting married in three months," said Nathan, looking at Relena as she emerged from the hallway from the kitchen and into the vast sala in her mansion. "They were even complaining why I haven't given them invitations, yet."

He was sitting on the white large couch, leaning a bit further so that his arms rested on his thighs. He had an apologetic look on his face. Since his own mother had announced to the whole Earth Sphere that he and Relena were getting married in just a few months, he offered to drive Relena to her home to talk about the issue, considering that they had not actually prepared anything yet. Add to that the instance when his mother called him to say that they better not humiliate her. _Who was the first who did? _Nathan wanted to answer back.

Relena moved around the couch and placed two mugs with coffee on the glass table in front of the couch before settling down beside her fiancé. "I think that this is a good wake up call for the both of us." Her fingers fumbled on the hem of her skirt.

"Yeah, it is." Nathan shook his head. "I'm sorry again. We can make a statement to the press as soon as possible if you want to. I don't care what my mom says."

Relena saw herself reflected in his emerald green eyes. She touched his arm. "That's not what I meant." She smiled. "Let's push through with the wedding."

It was not the answer he had been expecting from her. Nathan looked at her incredulously, trying to ignore the fact that she looked heavenly when smiling. "Are you sure about this? We can postpone it."

She shrugged. "If things keep going the way they are, then nothing will happen to us. We'll both be consumed by our work that this wedding may not happen until the next five years. Let's leave it as it is and just start preparing."

Nathan considered her words for a while. He thought of the time that they both had two juggle to do the preparations, their work, and other activities. But knowing that Relena will be there with him along the way, it was more than okay for him to agree. He returned the smile looking like a prince from the fairytales. He took her free hand and held it tightly. "Whatever the princess says, I will abide." He then leaned so that their foreheads touched. "How does Relena Walker sound?"

* * *

A few years ago, they had a similar conversation like this – Heero and her. Relena was in the garden located at the back of the Darlian Estate when she visited her mother and found solace while tending to the flowers. Sitting on her bent knees, she cut off the tip of the rose that she was holding and placed it on the white vase beside her. Casting a side-eyed glance to her companion, she asked, "Do you plan to use the name Heero Yuy forever?"

Heero looked up from the book that he was reading as he half-leaned against the bushes. "I have nothing else to use." When Relena nodded at his response, while still engrossed in what she was doing, he closed his book and asked, "Why did you ask?"

"Nothing." She did not look up at him and continued on picking roses and cutting off the tips of the stems. Feeling his eyes still on her, she met his gaze. "What?" Turning back to her roses, she muttered, "I just thought that being called Relena Yuy sounds endearing."

When she had mouthed the words in front of him, her cheeks felt warm. Was she blushing? Embarrassed at what blurted out of her mouth, she mustered all her courage to look at Heero in the eye that, as usual, had an expressionless facade. How did he feel about the idea of marriage? They had never discussed it before, nor did she ever attempt to bring it up. She knew that it was something that Heero would not be fond of discussing. However, sometimes, she cannot help but think about it. She loved him more than anything. She was serious about him. What about him then? Will he be willing to tie the know with her... forever? "I'm not implying anything. I... It's just that... Ouch!"

A trickle of blood came out from her pointing finger due to a thorn. Before she could do anything, Heero gently took her hand and pressed it to his lips. The act was enough to have her body seem like to be lit on fire. When no more blood came out of the finger, Relena tried to pull away, but he held there in place with his eyes boring into hers. "What's in a name?"

Who would have thought that Heero Yuy read Shakespeare?

The air floated around them, redolent with the scent of roses. "That which we call a rose by any other name..." answered Relena.

"Would smell as sweet," finished Heero before sealing their lips with a kiss. He pinned her down on the grass and continued where they left off, the rose becoming unnoticed in Relena's hand. In that moment when he slid his hand along her thigh pulling her skirt up with it, Relena realized that she and Heero were also star-crossed lovers who ended up together despite the war. And along with it was the silent wish that they will not be separated the way Romeo and Juliet did.

* * *

Glancing back at Nathan with fresh tears on her eyes, she could only answer, "What's in a name?" Then she kissed her fiancé before kneeling on the couch, bringing her on the same level as him and began to wrap her arms around his neck.

Taken with surprise, Nathan almost lost his balance when the full weight of Relena half-pressed against him and pulled him close. He had not seen bold act from her before. And since this was a rarity, he wanted to make everything count. Wrapping an arm around her waist and another holding her at the back of her neck, Nathan kissed Relena back fervently. He suckled on her lower lip before trailing kisses down her neck, making Relena arch her back while eliciting whimpers that almost drove him over the edge. Her hand ruffled his pale golden hair when Nathan licked and lightly bit the flesh on the hollow, intersecting area between her shoulder and neck, while his hand moved to go under her blouse. Every skin to skin contact burned under their touch.

Nathan was trying hard not to lose control, but his close proximity to Relena along with her flawless physical attributes; it was equally hard not to take his eyes and hands off her. As Relena shifted to slowly lie on the couch, she held on to his shoulders to bring him down, as well, on top of her.

This was a different Relena, Nathan mentally told himself. He had not seen Relena this intrepid, add to that the fact that she was the one who initiated this. He had always been careful in their relationship. Careful in a way that he always chose the rights words to say, afraid that if he said anything wrong she would break. He had always how fragile she was, despite the facade that she was putting up in front of everyone, even him. He felt it, always. Still he was determined enough to pursue her. She had always pushed him away at first by constantly turning down his invitations to any family or work celebrations. It took him a lot of effort to finally make her say 'Yes' to him. It was the best moment in his life, until it was replaced by her 'Yes' at his marriage proposal. How he loved her to pieces.

From the start, he knew that it wouldn't be easy. It wouldn't be easy to be in a relationship with the former Queen of the World and current most loved politician in the Earth Sphere Unified Nations, who was involved in the previous war and someone else. He wasn't blind or insensitive. He felt and saw it in her eyes – those ocean blue eyes that stared back at him as she smiled when he talked, but deep down was she in another lifetime away.

Whoever it was that Relena loved before him was surely a prick for leaving someone like her. Relena had never told him about the identity of her former lover, and no one from her work knew of it much either except for a few from the Preventers unit. The only information he got from them was that he was and _is_ her first love, and that he left.

But though it hurt to be in a relationship with someone who probably still had not fully moved on from her past, he was willing to stay by her side. He vowed that he will take care of her and hopefully he would be the one to heal her heart. He would not let her fight her battles alone, even if she didn't allow him to. Call him a martyr or what, but he didn't care. After all, you don't try loving a person just for them to love you back. You just love and care for the other even if your heart is breaking into pieces.

A gasp from Relena jolted him to reality. Her legs were wrapped around his hips and her blouse had been fully unbuttoned, revealing her black, lacy brassiere. At that moment he already wanted to stop, but the seductive look on Relena's eyes mesmerized him, making his hand knead her breast while his tongue made contact on the skin between the two peaks. She wrapped her legs around his hips and used it as a leverage to push them forward so that their groin areas rubbed against each other.

This time it was him who groaned, his erection straining against his jeans. He wanted to take her right then and there. She was a goddess lying there gorgeously on the couch. But it just hit him that they made a mutual agreement that they would not be doing _it _until they were married. To him, he admitted that it would be awkward to be the one who would have to refuse this kind of invitation from a stunning woman like Relena. But a promise is a promise, and he would not want to hurt her later on. There was a reason that made Relena do this. Was she depressed about something? Whatever it was, he would not want her to regret this later on. Gathering all the willpower to get himself off the couch, Nathan moved off her and stood.

"Nathan?" A wide-eyed Relena murmured, who was breathing heavily.

Running a hand on his shirt, he refused to look at her fearing that if he saw her again he would lose control. "We can't do this, Relena."

He heard her shift, probably to sit down, and god may she button up her blouse. Afterwards, delicate hands embraced him from behind.

"I'm sorry," she muttered as she buried her head on his back. "I didn't know what I was doing and..."

"It's alright," he said, placing his hands on hers that were on his stomach.

They stood there for what seemed like an eternity with only Relena's silent sobbing that filled in the eerie silence. Where were all the house helpers?

Nathan chose the time to turn around and face her when Relena was no longer crying and shivering behind him. He wiped away the tears on her cheeks, kissed her briefly, and held her in an embrace. "If you need to talk, I'm right here. Or you can call me anytime."

"I'll be fine," replied Relena. "I think you should go for now." She pulled away and crossed her arms above her chest, still embarrassed from the act she displayed earlier. "We can talk tomorrow."

"Okay, baby."

Relena walked him to the door. He kissed her good night and just when he turned around, she called out his name. "Thank you for the flowers, for everything. And..."

Nathan faced her completely and patiently waited for what she had to add. The world seemed to have lit up when her face cracked a smile.

"I love you," said Relena.

Nathan smiled as well. His feet automatically moved on its own to walk to Relena's side for him to kiss her again. "I love you, too."

When Nathan had left, Relena retired to her room leaving the untouched coffee on the table until they were cold.

* * *

Ever since the incident on Relena's sala, Relena noticed the slight change in her and Nathan's relationship, or rather her feelings for him. It was a good change, for a lack of better word. They had gotten closer – closer than they probably had ever been since Nathan proposed to her. They found more time for each other despite their busy schedules. It almost became a daily routine that the young businessman would be the one to pick her up from her office instead of her chauffer. They would sometimes eat at a fancy restaurant or go around the city to look for things needed for their wedding and new house. He still sent her roses and notes every day, and called her every noon on her lunch break. It was as if they were back to the days when he was still courting her. Relena had never been this lighter ever since her latest visit to the L1 colony cluster.

The mood was retained for the whole month that followed. By that time, Relena and Nathan had already done the guest list for their wedding day. Being public figures meant a lot of connections that paved an easy way for them to reserve the church and a vast, beautiful venue for their wedding reception.

It took the couple some time to decide on where they should hold the wedding. Nathan's home country was England, but he moved to Brussels due to work. Relena was born in Sanc, raised by the Darlians in Japan, and worked in Brussels as a Vice Foreign Minister. But since Nathan was half-Japanese, the Darlians lived in Japan, and the two met in the same country, they decided to hold it in the Land of the Rising Sun.

Invitations had also been carried out, which elicited excited responses from their colleagues and relatives. The moment they received their invitations, Duo Maxwell and Hilde Schbeiker, Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton, Sally Po, and even Dorothy Catalonia and all their other allies from the previous war had called Relena through the video phone expressing their gratitude and excitement. Dorothy even excitedly called for a bridal shower since she was chosen to be one of the bridesmaids alongside Hilde and Chris, her secretary.

Her former war allies all displayed sunny dispositions, while trying to mask their disappointment at the fact that it was not the Perfect Soldier's name that was written in the invitation. They were also careful enough not to mention anything about Heero Yuy at all, restraining the urge the whole time to ask if she had invited him, too. Even if they had not said anything, Relena saw it in their eyes and wanted to tell them that she asked the heavens that same question many times, as well. Did they even know that she had met him again in L1? That when she thought that fate led them to reconciliation, they only walked down along different paths carved by their past decisions.

Milliardo Peacecraft and Lucrezia Noin, through a choppy video call from Mars, also called to congratulate her. Noin had been chosen as the Maid of Honor, and of course, Milliardo would be the one to walk her down the aisle. Same as the others, the words were caught in their tongue when they thought of her past romance with the Perfect Soldier.

Was it truly impossible to love two persons simultaneously?

* * *

It was a starry evening on the L1 colony cluster. The city was alive with children merrily walking out of shops while holding on their mothers' hand, teenagers holding hands as they cuddled with one another on the benches, and cars rustling and bustling on a rush hour.

Heero Yuy walked down the street with his hands in his jeans pocket and looked like he was the only one who was out of place in the area. After all, he did not smile like the others did. Nor was he holding someone's hand – no one to share his warmth with, and no one to comfort him when everything else had gone stale. He stopped walking in front of a small, local shop. The elderly owner by the counter can be clearly seen interacting with his customers on the glass window. Diverting his gaze to the sky, a streak of light flashed momentarily. For all the years since he was a child, he had always fought in the vicinity of stars. And it was only at that moment when Heero realized that this was the first shooting star he had ever seen.

Once, Relena told him she first saw him as a shooting star. It was on the day that Operation Meteor began. Relena was smiling that day despite her jet-lagged stance. Heero remembered driving her back home and when they had passed the beach where they first met, Relena asked him to stop the car. She blinked at him with eyes the color of the ocean and brighter than any other stars. "I didn't realize that shooting stars could land on your lap," she said. "I never considered you as a wish, though. You're a blessing."

Heero remembered kissing her that night. Standing alone on the street, he helplessly hoped that shooting stars do fall on people's laps. Only this time, it would be Relena that will fall for him. Shaking his head, he pulled out one of his hands from his pocket to unravel the only thing he had been holding for the whole day, and walked inside the shop without hesitation. From where he stood seconds ago, a rose petal fell from the heavens.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hi there! Let me take the time to express my gratitude to everyone who has been reading this for like a year now. :) And also... I know I said in Chapter 8 that there will be one or two more chapters left for this story, but I just couldn't end this yet because of some loop holes that needed to be filled.

This is an uneventful chapter, I know. Sorry about that. More shiz will be explained in the succeeding chapters. So I hope you all stick around! Thank you again! :)


	11. Back to Tomorrow

**Chapter 11: Back to Tomorrow**

"_Let's have an eternal hope  
Will the pain in your heart ever heal?  
I sincerely want to take you into my arms and help you  
I'll help you draw a dream in your heart from the beginning (to give my love)_

_Remember the sky on that day  
For now, step by step with me  
Let your laughter ring, step by step  
Together, step by step with me  
Let's build a (love…) Let's connect our (love…)~"_

_~Back to Tomorrow by TVXQ (HoMin)~_

* * *

Relena Darlian made the sign of the cross before shifting from her kneeling position to sit back on the pew. Beside her, she looked at her fiancé, who was still kneeling with his head leaning on his clasped hands and his eyes closed. When he had also made the sign of the cross and sat beside her, he raised an eyebrow, noticing that she had been staring at him all along.

"Did my overly gorgeous features captivate you?" Nathan teased quietly so as not to bother the other few people in the church. With his grin, he could easily pass as an endorser of a brand of toothpaste.

"You're so full of yourself," said Relena, smacking Nathan's face playfully. "I just think that you prayed longer today. Usually, I'm the one who takes forever when praying."

"I thanked God a lot today," answered Nathan, his gaze hovering over at the huge cross at the altar. "Everything's going well, so far." He then reached for Relena's hand, and turned to her. "And in a few days, you're going to walk down the aisle."

Hand in hand, they walked down the long stretch of the aisle of the colossal church. Outside, there was an area in which small candles can be lit to honor the life of deceased loved ones. Whenever she went to any church, Relena always made it a point to light one for her father. And this one was no exception. She dropped a coin on the box beside the candles, and lit one herself.

* * *

Once, Heero had asked her if the candles were only for those whom you have loved and lost; the flames of the candles were reflected in his eyes. "What if I were the one who took their lives? Can I still light for them?"

Relena stared at him, surprised. Of course you can."

"I still won't be forgiven, won't I?"

"Not until you forgive yourself," said Relena, picking out a candle and handing it to him. "You have a good heart, Heero. They will accept your apology as long as they see their light from you."

On that day, Heero lit the candle for the very first person he had killed. When night came, Relena looked for Heero in her mansion and was told that he went to the local cemetery for soldiers nearby. She had asked to be driven there. When she had entered the cemetery, passing by its small, unlocked, and rusted gate, baffled by what she saw.

About five up to six candles were placed on every gravestone, their flames dancing with the slight, cool breeze. Walking along the pathway, Relena wrapped her trench coat tighter as the wind blew once more. On her right, all of the gravestones were already filled with candles. When she turned to her left, almost half of the rows were already occupied by the dancing flames. And there, she saw the Perfect Soldier on his knees, wearing his Preventer jacket, as he was lighting another candle.

He looked up when Relena squatted beside him. "I don't really know how many they are."

"How many do you have?" asked Relena, eyeing the bags and plastics full of candles beside Heero.

"400; it's not enough."

"It's the thought that counts," said Relena. "They will be delighted to know what you're doing now. And besides, we can light up more tomorrow. You don't have to do this alone, Heero." Relena grabbed a whole plastic of candles and started to light one after the other.

"When I die, I wonder if I will be mourned," said Heero softly, almost like a whisper.

"I will," said Relena, giving Heero a side glance as she lighted one candle after another. "I will light a candle for you every single day, so you won't get lost on the other side. So you will know that I'm here and that you will always be remembered. And I will pray every night to ask all the deities to watch over you and grant you the forgiveness you've always been seeking."

Heero turned to Relena, whose skin and features were accentuated by the hues of the flames, resembling an angel in fairytales. If he will be sent straight to Hell when he dies, then at least he had the chance to live in a place that closely resembled Heaven. Relena once claimed him to be her angel. But to Heero, it was always the other way around.

* * *

"Why'd you light up another one?" asked Nathan, eyeing the new candle that Relena lit beside the one for her father. "Besides your father, did you lose someone else?"

_So you will know that I'm here and that you will always be remembered. _After drawing in a deep breath, Relena answered, "Yes, I did."

* * *

"It's so great to be back here," said Relena. She tucked a handful of her golden locks behind her ear, while her other hand held Nathan's as they walked down the streets.

"I know," replied Nathan.

With only three weeks left until their wedding day, the couple took their leaves from work and flew back to Japan to arrange the preparations at their desired church and venue for the wedding reception. And Mareen Darlian, Relena's foster mother, could not have been more excited to accommodate her daughter and future son-in-law.

Nathan and Relena passed by the beach, to which Relena stopped walking. It was nearly already sunset. The ocean reflected the setting sun that painted the sky with a mixture of purple and orange hues. She felt Nathan gently pull her to go with him as he opened the gate that led to where the cogwheels of fate began to turn years ago.

Feeling the sand beneath her feet, taking in the sight of the setting sun in the horizon, Relena found it hard to absorb that in a peaceful setting such as this, she found a teenager as old as her, lying face down on the sand years ago - the start of Operation Meteor. She looked at the spot where she had found the Perfect Soldier. Memories of that day vividly replayed in her mind, making her wonder at how much had changed since then.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" asked Nathan, giving her hand a squeeze, making her look at him as he focused his gaze on the horizon.

A smile crept on Relena's lips. "Your friend hit me with a frisbee... on this same beach. It was around this time, right? I remember it as sunset. I was sitting here, and you came up."

Nathan chuckled at the memory. "Yeah. He didn't mean it though. He threw the frisbee with so much force that I ended running all the way here." He turned to Relena. "Imagine my surprise when I knew that the woman he just hit was the former Queen of the World. Who would've thought that your favorite hang-out place is a beach?"

Relena shrugged. "Just this particular beach. I kept a low profile just so I could have a 'me' time."

"Later that night, I treated my friend to his favourite restaurant."

"What for?"

"Without his idiocy, I wouldn't have met you," replied Nathan, who turned to her, seeing his own reflection in her cerulean orbs. "You were difficult to court, though. "

Relena ran her hand through her golden locks. "I'm a busy person. You were so persistent."

Just busy? Nathan wanted to retort the statement, wanting to tell her that she hid more things than what she outwardly expressed. "Still, I'm so glad that I persevered. You were worth it," he said. "I'm glad I met you on this beach. It's almost like fate."

Relena wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. That she had met the two men in her life on the same beach. That despite all of her efforts to forget Heero, despite how settled and contented she was with Nathan, Heero would always find his way in her heart and mind, destroying all the foundations of happiness that she had always been building. Add to that the existence of the abhorrent feeling that Nathan came to her life, bright as the sun, only to live in the shadow of the first one.

At present, there was nothing more that Relena wanted than to have a word with fate. She wanted to know if fate was laughing at her right now. Finding one's soul mate sounds amazing, at first. That somewhere in this world, there will always be this person destined to be with you, no matter the circumstances and distance. It sounds ideal, like a fairytale. But Relena learned things the hard way.

_It wasn't supposed to be this way._With her messed up feelings, she knew, it would cost someone else's happiness – never mind her own. If fate did really mean for her to be with Nathan then why was everything still pointing back to Heero?

"So, what changed?" Nathan's voice brought her back to reality.

She blinked at him absently-mindedly. "I'm sorry?"

"What changed?" Nathan repeated. "You were uninterested before. What made you date me?"

Would this be the right time to say that she was so broken inside, that's why she held on to the closest thing she can grab on to before everything was about to fall apart?

Nathan noticed how Relena was struggling with the right words to say. And that had always been his issue with her. She had always wanted to make things right, had wanted to say things right, had wanted to do things right. There was this searing ache that wanted to tell her that she should not be pushing herself into doing these, and that he will not judge her for whatever she did wrong.

Did everything in her previous relationship turned on every wrong direction, which led her to this path of always-do-things-right? Whatever she had been through in the past prior to meeting him, which she had always sequestered in her heart, he wanted to heal her from all of it. If only she would let him.

In one moment, their bodies were pressed against each other. Nathan still held her hand, while his other moved up to the back of her neck. He leaned down and closed his eyes. Relena's own ones closed, as well, anticipating the kiss until...

"Hero!" yelled a woman from beyond the fences of the beach. "Hero!" she yelled again.

Relena's lashes snapped wide open and turned to the source of yelling, surprise visible on her features. A woman, who looked ten years older than them, was running along the street, trying to catch up on a toddler who's wearing a jumper, and was loitering in his own world. The woman came up to the child and carried him, her voice still loud enough to be heard by the couple. "Hero, why did you let go of my hand? Why did you run from mommy?"

_Why did you let go of my hand? Why did you run?_Why won't Heero just leave her alone?

A movement then caught her eye right behind the woman with her child. Focusing her gaze, Relena could see the man waving frantically, a bright smile on his face. He was wearing a blue button-down shirt and jeans, his platinum blond hair distinguishing him from the brunettes passing by beside him.

"Hey, is that the Winner heir?" asked Nathan.

"Yes. An old friend," answered Relena who waved back at Quatre Raberba Winner.

* * *

When Quatre approached the couple on the beach, Nathan excused himself so that the two can catch up with each other's lives. Quatre offered to have a chat with Relena at his favourite coffee shop in town, promising them that his security will be around, and will not be a bother.

It was a weekday, and the two were grateful for the lack of customers. They settled on the far corner of the shop, redolent with the scent of coffee beans.

"So you're not on a business trip?" asked Relena, as she sipped her hot coffee, settling across from the former Gundam pilot.

"Not at all," replied Quatre. He opened a packet of sugar and poured it in his mug. "I came to visit my sister here. I didn't know you're in town, too."

"Nathan and I want to finish the wedding preparations early. We've already reserved the church and reception venue, as well as the wedding dress. All is well."

"Is there anything I can help you with?" offered Quatre.

"The other concerns now are the wedding rings, wedding rehearsals, _and _the honeymoon," answered Relena, waving her hand in dismissal. "We've got it covered. Thanks for offering, still."

"I see," said Quatre, leaning back on his chair. "Just tell me if you need anything. I will be glad to help."

Relena smiled. "Will do."

"So, how are you?" Quatre crossed his legs. "I bet this wedding's giving you the jitters?"

"It is. I've got so much going on lately. And before I know it, I'm going to be taking a man's last name. This will be like my third name change already." Relena laughed.

"Miss Relena Darlian Peacecraft Walker sounds legit," Quatre said, grinning. "We're all excited about it. Trowa and I saw each other a few weeks ago, and he told me that he had already asked his ring master's permission. I don't know yet about Wufei and Heero, though."

Relena flinched at the name, causing a very little amount of coffee to spill from her mug, onto its saucer.

"Oh I'm..." Quatre said, putting his mug down.

"No, don't worry about it." Relena put her own mug down. "I kind of expected that any one of you will come asking soon."

Quatre nodded, an uneasy smile formed on his lips. "I'm sorry that it can't be helped. Heero's been a part of our lives since A.C. 195."

_A big part of my life. _Relena thought.

"So have you been in touch with him?" Quatre knew that this topic will open up unhealed wounds for the woman sitting across from him. But before he berated his lack of discipline in asking, he tried to convince himself that he would be doing her a favour for listening as a friend. In the years that he had known Relena Darlian, Quatre was well-aware that there was something more beneath her strong facade. There was something that will implode sooner or later if she held it up bottled inside. Add to that the fact that every one of their comrades, especially Duo and Hilde, were all counting on him to know about the current status of Heero and Relena.

They were the chosen few who had known of their relationship, but still none of them knew the reason for their divergence. And years later, they still ought to know the real deal between the two. They were all aware that Heero had been reading the messages they sent him, since he would only reply at a chosen few, almost about updates in the Preventers' unit, and Relena's safety, but never whenever it led to anything about _their _relationship. And that was their burning curiosity.

"You mean after he left? Of course he didn't keep in touch. You're all aware of that." Relena shifted her gaze to the glass wall beside her, in which she stared at a woman in a trench coat walk her Dalmatian dog. "But if you mean if he's been invited to the wedding, I don't know yet."

Quatre nodded in understanding, subtly encouraging her to continue.

Relena had not told anyone of this before. But this was Quatre Raberba Winner, one of the kindest and compassionate people she had ever met. There was always something about Quatre, something from the gentleman across from her that convinced her that her secrets would be safe with him. "I met him two months ago."

The look and tone of his voice gave away his surprise. "You did?"

"Yeah, I did, on his colony. I had a conference there, and well, he... found me."

"How is he? Did you guys talk?"

Relena still focused her gaze outside where a family of four just passed by. "He's doing well. He's got high grades and an ace in their track and field team. And yeah, we did. We did spend some hours together... And it wasn't easy."

"You want to talk about it?" Quatre asked, noticing the tremble in Relena's voice at the last four words. "Were you able to settle things with him?"

"Yes, of course." Relena finally looked at him. "We made it clear to each other that we're really meant to go our separate ways."

That was an unexpected answer. The Heero and Relena they knew always came to terms with each other, eventually. Always. "What? How do you mean by that?"

Relena fumbled on the hem of her skirt, and stared at them."We have our own lives now. I'm already getting married and am more absorbed in my work more than ever. And he, he is now in this right track of having a good future – an excellent student and athlete, who probably has his own whole fan club in the University. The ball is rolling for him. We... We're not the same people from before."

"Was the feeling not the same from before, as well?"

Relena met his eyes; the words that she harboured for the past months were welling up, ready to explode. "You know what? Everything was fine. My Mars terraformation project is doing well, I have a brilliant fiancé, the Earth Sphere is devoid of discord, and everything else is fine. _I _was almost perfectly fine, until _he _happened... again." She shook her head in exasperation. "Quatre, was there a moment in your life when you are at your happiest and at the same time saddest point of your life?"

Quatre briefly looked at the ceiling for some answer. He did not even need to give one when he looked at Relena again, who was apparently trying to collect herself. By now, there were other people occupying three other tables behind them.

Relena leaned forward, picked up the stirrer, and stirred her coffee like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "Quatre, I did. Two months ago. Seeing him again, after all those goodbyes, it's just... It was vexing." Her voice was rising in volumes. "I was there. I was almost there. Close enough to fully crossover to Nathan's side, ready to be only his, but then _he _showed up on the street. And everything, every excuse, every reason to move on that I put up just came crumbling down like a stack of cards.

"Just one night, Quatre. It took only one night to destroy the path I so covered with forget, and led me back to where I started. And then, fortunately, Nathan and I bounced back right after, becoming a bit happier than usual. But when I returned to Japan, everything just naturally came back. Everything reminded me of him, of us – the beach, the school, the airport, the ship port, everything."

She took a breath to calm herself before continuing, "On that night, I knew it was wrong. But I had wished that when I wake up, it'll be Heero whom I will get married to. That when I wake up, we will no longer be the current _us, _but rather those who have just been given a new role in life, and enjoying our firsts in this new age of peace. At that time, I just wanted nothing more than to turn back time, back to the days when I was still his." She buried her face in her hands. "I shouldn't be saying this. It's despicable. I am an engaged woman for goodness sake."

The former Gundam pilot stood up, and pulled a chair to sit beside Relena. He rubbed her back to comfort her as he processed her story. Hearing the phrases_ showed up on the street_, _on that night, wake up, _he no longer felt the need on what happened on their reunion. "Does he know?" he then asked.

Relena knew just who he was talking about. The one she betrayed. She freed her face from her hands and turned to Quatre. "No. No, he doesn't. Nathan doesn't have to know. I don't want to hurt him. He's already done a lot for me."

"Can you still go through with this marriage?" Quatre's hand remained on her back. "If you're having second doubts about this, why don't you just cancel it?"

"It's not that simple. Everything's been set already. There's no need to falter now."

"Including your heart?" Quatre asked, incredulous. "Miss Relena, please let me say this. If you're having second doubts about this marriage, I think it's better if you not go through with this at all. Save both of yourselves from the hurt."

"That's what _I am_ preventing," Relena said. "I don't want Nathan to get hurt. I know how he feels for me. And I love him, too. I do really care for him. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have recovered immediately back then. This will all take some time. If Nathan and I do get married and if ever we will have children, I know that I will fully get over Heero. It will take some time. But I know I will. Until then, at least Nathan's happiness will be protected."

Quatre stared at the Vice Foreign Minister, wide-eyed. He had always known that she had a kind heart, a selfless woman who always thought of others, and an intelligent woman who had always made the right decisions in her governance. But what he did not know was that she was _this _selfless. He retorted, "At the expense of your own? Miss Relena, with all due respect, how long do you think it will take? We know of Heero's record of leaving every time. And still, you are here still subtly confessing that you still love him. What are the chances that you will be fully happy with Mr. Walker?"

"At least Nathan is saved from the heartache. It's fine if it's just me. But Nathan, no, I swear I will be the best wife that I can be. If I cancel the wedding, I will just end up hurting him, his family, and everyone close to him. And the guilt will never leave me. I could never leave with that. And mom, she loves Nathan, too." She thought of Nathan's parents who had been nothing but kind to her, and treated her as she was already family. She thought of Nathan's mother who had always expressed her excitement with the wedding and anticipation for a grandchild. Relena was positive she wouldn't want to hurt them.

"Oh, Miss Relena," Quatre said, softly. He now held Relena's shoulders as she leaned against his chest for support, her defenses melting away. "Don't put this all on you."

"I have to." Relena closed her eyes, listening to her friend's heartbeat. "This is what Heero would want me to do, too. That's why he let go."

* * *

Quatre had brought Relena home after dinner, just in time before the rain drizzled down; the sky devoid of glittering stars.

Relena quickly changed her clothes into a nightgown, and greeted her mother who was reading The Purpose Driven Life on her bed. She relayed the progress of her wedding and her dinner with the Winner heir. Then, she kissed her good night and stepped out of the room.

Nathan, who was staying in the Darlian household for the meantime, was apparently still not at home. She did not even bother sending him a text message so he could take his time to enjoy outdoors, given that he will not be bathing under this downpour.

It was an unconscious act, which Relena only realized, when she had walked in a room that was not hers, but Heero's. The room was one of the guest rooms in her house, a floor beneath hers, which he used to occupy as part of her security team, when she spent her rest days in her childhood home. The bed against the wall still had the neatly folded and arranged sheets and pillows. While on the opposite side was a closet, which was slightly opened, further rubbing in that nothing was left of him in here.

Walking across the room, to the huge glass window, Relena stared at their garden below. The rain had gotten stronger, as well the winds. She watched their trees, flowers, and bushes all being swayed to the right, as if someone was invisibly pulling and trying to uproot them. The sky was dark with only the sparks of lightning illuminating it every now and then, together with the angry growl of thunder.

Feeling the room grow colder as the storm raged on, Relena rubbed her arm to keep it warm at least. In the past, especially during rainy days like this, someone else's arms would keep her safe and warm. And this room would always be that haven for warmth. Now standing in the cold room, in which his scent also no longer lingered, there was that emptiness that pushed in, in greater leaps.

She pressed her hand against the cold, glass wall. Somehow, her conversation with Quatre earlier made her a bit better, letting out some of her internal struggles that she had harboured for a long time, like a dam that flowed endlessly once the gates had been opened. And along with it that surfaced were the memories that she had sequestered for a long time.

It was still all too vivid in her recollection; all too vivid. It was all too vivid when three and a half weeks before _he_ ended things with her, their interactions became less and less. Relena remembered the times when Heero would purposefully excuse himself to leave whenever their team retired to their rooms, and they were both left in his, her, or any room. He had also not left her any more Post-It notes on her desk whenever he was assigned to do something else.

When he was typing on his laptop and she would cuddle behind him, there would be no response, not even a change in his breathing or stature. Usually, yes, Heero would not say anything, but his body language would be the ones to respond. Like when he would relax whenever her head rested on his back, or when he would briefly stop typing so he could place his hands and arms atop hers on his waist, or when he would just turn around and make love to her until Relena herself would not be able to say anything but his name.

There came a point when just leaving roses in his room would be the only reason she can visit him, for Heero no longer entertained her when she came in. He stopped asking personal questions, like how did her conference go, how she was feeling and such. The questions that came from him then sounded more of an obligation as her security officer, questions that revolved around her next colony tour, conferences, summits, and interviews.

It was as if they were back to the days when she was still just a mission to him – back to the days when they were in the backseat of her limousine and they would sit at a good distance apart, careful not to touch the other; when he would knock on her door to hand her documents that had just arrived and would not stay a minute longer to kiss her goodnight; when he was assisting her in sliding out of the limousine would be the only time when their hands joined, and so much more.

Looking back, at first, Relena thought that she may have done something wrong, something that she did, or something that happened with him that he refused to tell. She tried reaching out to him, trying to hold him in the room a bit longer as soon as they start doing their rounds in the office building and in her house, but when she finally got the chance to ask him anything, he would look at her with the gaze of the Perfect Soldier, and not _her _Heero's. There was always a silent reject in those eyes. So Relena gave up, finding faults in herself, faults such as for not trying harder, for being so absorbed in her work, for not having a life besides politics.

Relena could only conclude that Heero kept such a distance so she could get used in not having him around anymore – that when he finally said those words, she would only feel anger, bitterness, and resentment, towards him, and not love. Was she able to tell him on L1 that his completely backfired? And all the while she thought that Heero's plans had always worked.

So at that time in the past, she just waited for him to drop the bomb. The time she spent in waiting for their end, was to be as workaholic as she can be, to be as numb and uncaring as possible, and as formidable as ever. After all, she once read that the only way to prevent heartache is to cushion the incoming blow. Moreover, if Heero was indeed unhappy with her or in his work anymore, she would willingly let him go. And she swore that she will not cry a single drop, so as to show him that she can live without him, and that he will not be obligated to stay with her in this sordid mess.

The day before he dropped the bomb, though, he had let her in his room without qualms. Relena was even surprised that he was talking to her as she arranged the roses in his room, like they were in a relationship again. It was at that time when she asked him if he believed in soul mates, to which he responded firmly with a "No." But still, he kissed her so passionately, pouring his soul into her, she thought that she was about to ripped apart. Maybe this was his way of atoning for his actions this past week, and she just let him.

Then without warning, on the day after, the bomb dropped. It was started when she was being driven back to her mansion after work. Heero was not in the limousine, but was replaced by a new security member. Later on when she had called Lady Une regarding Heero's replacement, she was told that Heero's resignation had been approved, and he will be discharged in two days. She will never forget the feeling that everything was being sucked out of her despite telling herself that she had prepared herself for this moment.

Relena reached his door and let herself in his room. There he was, dressed in a shirt and jeans, his closet was open and his suitcase was on the bed, already half-full with his clothes. This was the second time that she found him like this, the first being when they were fifteen years old.

"I've just been told of your resignation," said Relena, closing the door behind her, not moving any closer.

Heero stood upright from folding his shirt on the bed, and turned to her. "I apologize for not telling you sooner."

Relena nodded. Was that it? Was it just that simple? Was he truly sorry? Was it because of her? Was there someone else? "Can you tell me why?" She strode towards him slowly, her voice betraying her emotions. She wondered how he would have interpreted her question. Can you tell me why were you keeping your distance? Can you tell me why you're not telling me anything? Can you tell me why you resigned?

Heero averted his gaze and proceeded in folding his clothes. He answered the latter. "I plan to study."

"Where?" Relena sat on his bed and watched his calloused fingers fold shirts one after the other, neatly and gently, just like how he used to hold her.

Not looking at her, he responded, "I'll return to my home colony. I think it's about time for me to explore what else is out there."

_What else is out there? _Was that another way of saying that I'm getting tired of things here? Still, she said, "I understand."

In reality, she did not understand. There may be truth in what he had said, but Relena did not buy all of it. There was something else in there. And she had no idea what hurt even more, hearing the painful truth or not asking at all? She shifted her gaze to the white vase on his bedside table filled with roses in full bloom, roses that she had just placed there yesterday.

"Is it me?" asked Relena. She then felt him shift beside her, and in one second he was standing in front of her. Their eyes locked for a moment too long.

"No," said Heero.

"Is this the part where you would say 'It's not you, it's me'?" said Relena almost sarcastically, her voice almost showing signs of cracking.

Not amused by her retort, Heero grabbed her shoulders. "Don't..." And then his gaze softened. "Don't lose that strength, Relena. Don't."

How long had it been she had last seen _her_ Heero Yuy's eyes? Those gentle, but firm look on his Prussian blue were the ones that she fell in love with. If she wanted to see those eyes again, then she would have to obey him. Swallowing hard, she answered, "I promise." Can she really be _that _strong without him? Had he not listened whenever she told him, since they were fifteen years old, that he had always given her the hope and strength to go on?

At her vow, Heero grinned. He then lifted his hand to brush against her forehead and bangs. Relena closed her eyes at the touch. He did not expect that this will be too easy, too easy that she did not even ask him to stay nor question any further. Maybe his actions for the past week truly did affect her affection towards him. It pricked his heart. But he had to do it.

"Do you want me to leave?" asked Heero. Somehow there was this part of him that almost wanted to see if she still cared, for a number of reasons.

Relena's eyes snapped open. "Does what I say matter?" She gave him a look that wanted to say _You're going to leave anyway, no matter what I say._

_Everything about you matters to me, _he wanted to say, but cannot. "I just need to know."

"I want you to pursue the things that will make you happy and complete. If leaving is the answer into finding those things, then it's all fine with me," said Relena. "So go." Since when did she become a good liar? Politics sure moulded her well.

Something flashed in Heero's eyes that she failed to recognize, and was gone before she had the chance to comprehend. Heero then leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "That's all I need to know."

Later that night, Relena couldn't sleep for all the obvious reasons. Putting on her silky robe over her nightgown, Relena went to the living room and browsed through the television channels, settling on a news channel. She laid her head and arms on the arm rest, and brought up her legs to rest on the large sofa.

"Relena," a voice then called out to her, a voice that she can recognize anywhere.

Still watching the news, she answered, "Doing your last round as a Preventer?"

Heero did not answer. To his silence, Relena finally lifted her head to look at him standing beside the sofa. "I can't sleep," she answered. "This is odd, actually, considering that I always fall asleep easily after working overtime." Of course she couldn't sleep after she had just encouraged Heero to leave hours before.

Without a word, Heero sat beside her on the sofa. Relena pulled her legs closer to make room for him. Now that they were just centimetres away from each other, the more she could not sleep. She no longer paid attention to the news.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"2:47 a.m.," said Heero, taking a glance at his wristwatch.

"What time are you going to leave today?"

"6:00 a.m.," answered Heero.

If you were to spend about three hours left with the one you love, with only God knowing if you will still meet again, what would you do?

"For the next three hours," Relena began, turning to Heero. "Can we hold hands?"

There was no hesitation on his part. Heero quickly seized her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers, a perfect fit. Relena shifted so her legs would be on the other side. Then a bit later, her eyes drooped despite her will. She fought to stay awake, wanting to remember every detail, every movement that transpired in her three hours left with Heero. But she was not able to. She could not remember what time she fell asleep, and what her sleeping position was when her consciousness bogged down.

But Heero did. It will forever be imprinted on his mind that he guided Relena's tired body to lay on his arm on the sofa, her rose scent intoxicating him, her even breathing against his chest, her hair that tickled his arms, her hand on his chest that he covered with his own – just simply everything about her. He then wondered if she will be able to know when she wakes up that he had kissed her lips before drifting to his own world, and had wiped away a supposedly clandestine tear from her cheek.

When Relena awoke, it was already morning. She rubbed her eyes to process everything, since there was a pillow on the sofa and a blanket, too. What's missing was Heero. Frantic and just swiftly brushing her hair with her hands, she wrapped her robes around herself and made a beeline to the opened entrance door.

Then there he was by the car in front, putting his luggage at the trunk, with Pagan beside him.

"Heero," she called out.

Heero closed the trunk and walked to her. "I didn't want to wake you."

"Will I see you again?" asked Relena, ignoring his statement.

Heero smiled a little. "Let's leave it to fate."

Relena returned the gesture. She smiled for him, for him to know that she was going to be fine, for him to know that she understood. Since fate had always brought them together numerous times, then for sure they will again.

"Take care. Friends, at least?" she managed to say, despite her difficulty to keep her emotions at bay. "Until I see you again." _I love you._

"Until then," said Heero, nodding. He then lifted his hand to tuck stands of Relena's hair behind her ear. He kissed her forehead. "Goodbye." _I love you, too._

The moment Heero entered the car; it had started to rain hard. She watched and waved as the car sped out of her mansion's gates, out into the streets, and out of her life.

* * *

On the other side of the universe, school had already ended for the day at L1's Aria University. With no one else in the field, Heero Yuy changed into his track and field uniform jersey and shorts. He had chosen a day when there would be no track trainings. After all, he wouldn't want to be seen by his teammates who had all expressed their sentiments when they heard of his pull out from the team.

After running for five kilometres in a span of 13 minutes in the open field of their university, Heero Yuy slowed down from running and walked, still not satisfied. And he knew that nothing ever satisfied him anymore as the news kept on reporting how Relena's wedding was getting nearer and nearer.

He walked towards the nearest bench where he had left his face towel and water bottle, and surprisingly beside them was a red rose petal. Lifting a hand to reach it, Heero's knees then jerked. His knee joints hit the bench, which sent him to the ground.

Lying on his back, he looked at the sky that was a perfect shade of blue – the same as Relena's eyes. He then felt his left hand go numb and ignored it. While his other hand, which was closed into a fist, opened up to reveal the rose petal.

* * *

The rain had already ceased by the time Nathan returned to the Darlian mansion. After excusing himself from Quatre and Relena earlier, he had contacted old friends of his for a drink. Since it had been a long time since their last hang-out, and Relena encouraging him to take his time, well he did take his time.

He reeked of alcohol, but still perfectly sober, as he walked along the hallway for the guest rooms. Upon entering the mansion, Nathan headed for Relena's room, just in case she was still awake. However she was not there, and was told by the house helpers that they had seen her in a guest room. Why would she be in a guest room? He would have to ask her tomorrow before they leave for Brussels.

On his way, he met Pagan, who had just finished turning off the lights in the hallway. Nathan greeted the butler politely and asked if he knew in what guest room Relena was in. The butler pointed to the first door to the left. Nathan thanked him as he strode off, but Pagan turned around and called him, "Sir Nathan."

"Yes?" he turned to face the elderly man, now dressed in his pajamas.

"There are some of your clothes in Miss Relena's luggage. I left them in your room today. Good night, Sir." The butler then bowed and walked on the opposite direction.

The door in the hallway was open. When Nathan entered the room, he did not bother turning on the lights for the moonlight that filtered through the glass window was enough for him to make out her figure on the bed.

Relena lay on her side on the bed under the blanket that reached up to her chest. Nathan smiled at her form, until he leaned and reached out a hand to her damp cheek. She had been crying. His smile dissolved, and there was thing pang in his chest at the thought that she had been crying without him.

In their relationship, the only instances when he would see her cry were when she was so stressed at work that it led her to a breakdown. Not because of deep, personal reasons. He then wondered how many nights passed when she would cry behind his back.

Kicking off his shoes, he slid under the covers beside her. His arm snaked its way to her waist and held her close. Relena stirred in her sleep at the movement. Her drowsy eyes half opened and she said, "You're early. Is the mission already over?"

What mission? And he's not early. It's already half past one a.m.

Nevertheless, he nodded and answered, "Yeah." Relena snuggled closer to him, shifting so that her head was pillowed on his arm; her arm went around his waist. As he kissed her goodnight and before heading off to dreamland, it just clicked to him that he had not lent Relena any clothes at all.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Oh thank god I finally finished this chapter. This one's longer than my usual chapters, since I figured that a bit of flashbacks can maybe shed light on what to come next. Having said that, I'm worried about the transition to the flashbacks. If there are some parts here in which you were confused about the [transitions of the] past and present ponderings of Relena, please do point them out.

Also in this chapter, I figured that Relena may need a friend right now. So there's Quatre! :)

Thank you for the reviews/support, everyone! I hope this chapter is alright for you. Take care!

Back to Tomorrow English translation credits to pinkrazy[at]wordpress.


	12. Love and Honesty

**Chapter 12: Love and Honesty**

"_Sha na na, we surely can't walk alone__  
__You keep walking with me, making me complete__  
__Love is true, that small voice makes me strong__  
__Until the day my dreams come true, this is everlasting, I'll be with you forever~"_

_~Love & Honesty by BoA~_

* * *

~o~

Relena turned on her side, half-expecting to feel the familiar presence of someone to reach and hold her, just like what happened all through the night. She was jostled awake when her hand patted the vacant space on her bed and the sun's early morning rays have already infiltrated into the room.

She sat up, squinting, as she checked the time on her bedside drawer. 7:20 a.m. It was still early, where could Nathan have gone? She was positive that he had come home the previous night, or that morning. She knew it was him despite slightly reeking of alcohol. He had held her all through the night, giving her comfort that she had grown familiar with, like a blanket that you cover yourself with when your mother was not around to embrace you during a storm.

But now her fiancé was already gone. Early.

Before she can get up from bed or reach her mobile phone from the bedside drawer, the huge bedroom door opened. And there he was, already bathed and dressed. He was dressed in a black shirt and white linen pants; his blonde hair was combed and swept back, making him look younger. Relena had not totally gotten over her gorgeous fiancé's presence as he smiled and bent down to kiss her forehead.

"Good morning, Relena," greeted Nathan with no trace of the alcohol scent from last night. "Slept well?"

"Good morning. Yeah, I did," answered Relena as Nathan sat on his side of the bed. "Why are you up so early?"

"I've got some errands today."

"Errands?" Relena blinked and her brows creased. "What errands?"

"Just some stuff that Mom wants me to do."

She was about to push for more information, but decided against it. "What time did you arrive last night?"

"A little over 1 a.m. Went out with childhood friends."

"I see." Relena nodded. "Did you get drunk?"

"Tipsy." Nathan grinned, gazing at her as he leaned against the headboard. "How was your day with Winner?"

"It was..." Relena paused and fiddled with a loose thread from the duvet, remembering her outburst in the coffee shop, and how consoling it was to finally confide with a friend. "Comforting," she said at last.

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Comforting?"

"Wedding jitters." Relena gave him a teasing smile.

"You won't be having them for long."

_What? _"Three weeks _is _long."

"That it is." He kissed her forehead, and Relena couldn't help but feel the butterflies in her stomach just by seeing him smile... for her. "Let's go out tonight. I want to show you something."

"Oh? What?"

"It's a surprise."

Leaning closer, Nathan kissed her, backing her onto the edge of the bed and slowly easing her to lie down. When a soft _thump _hit the floor, the couple broke the contact to inspect what had fallen. In an instant, Relena found herself pushing her fiancé off her to hastily pick up the fallen object.

"That bear. You've always had it with you," Nathan said, sitting beside her on the edge of the bed.

Relena ran her fingers on the fluffy brown fur of the teddy bear's head. And she looked at her reflection in its dotted, vacant, blank eyes. It was a better move than staring at Nathan's green ones, especially when they were talking about something that concerned _him._

"It's a birthday gift... when I was younger."

"From who?"

"A friend." Before he can ask anything further, Relena pressed her lips against his. And this time, she felt the butterflies in her stomach knot her insides... with guilt. She pulled away. "Where are we going tonight?"

* * *

~o~

He couldn't move. No matter how hard he tried, his arms felt like it had been being pinned down by strong hands made of iron. Darkness enveloped. He was lying on a bed, which was too comfortable for his own good. The smell of the room reminded him of a few moments in the past when he wondered why the others had always considered saving his life. There was also that repetitive, annoying beeping sound of a machine next to him. Yes, he knew exactly where he was. And he knew that, just like in his previous escapades, he was not supposed to stay here a minute longer.

But what was the purpose of running now? It wasn't like _she'd _go barging in to check up on him. It wasn't like she would sit by his side all through the night. It wasn't like she would occasionally rest her palm on his forehead for any sign of fever. It wasn't like she would hold his hand tightly as if her life depended on his waking. Or maybe it did.

_You'll never appreciate what you've had until they're gone, _they say. He was appalled at the fact of understanding that saying the hard way. If only he had squeezed her hands in those times, if only he had told her to stay with him instead of coercing her to go home and leave him, if only he had... If she could be beside him now, he regretted that no matter how much he would hold her, he would no longer feel any of her warmth.

The footsteps outside were growing louder. Very forcefully, he closed his eyes just in time when the door opened.

"He's still asleep," said his visitor for how many days already.

"That bastard." A male voice sighed. "Why didn't he tell us any of this?"

There were murmurs, hushed voices around him. He can hear them, their fury, their disappointment, their... concern.

And in the dark abyss of his consciousness, he let his mind drift to a beach underneath the starry skies where everything in his life began.

* * *

~o~

"What did you wish for?" asked Nathan as she opened her eyes, her vision filled with a million stars.

"Now that would be telling." Relena grinned. "You didn't make a wish?"

Nathan turned towards the sky with the wind blowing against his golden halo of hair. He was wearing a black shirt, a leather jacket, and jeans. In just his casual wear he could pass as a model for a glossy magazine. "Science tells me that they are just passing meteoroids and are not actually wish-granters."

Relena pouted. "You're not being romantic, Mr. Perfect. And for all you know it could be a person."

"A person?" asked Nathan, amused.

_A Gundam. _The thought was nostalgic. "It has been a lovely evening, Nathan," said Relena before her thoughts could take her back to the past once more. "Dinner by the shore. I think it was the first time we have done that."

"We can have more of that soon." Nathan then reached into his pockets. "There's something I want to give you."

"What is it?"

Bringing his hand out of the jacket pocket, he opened a small red velvet box in front of her. "I don't mind proposing to you again," muttered Nathan, gauging Relena's reaction. "I found this in a small store this morning. I had a feeling that you will like it, since roses are your thing." He took a deep breath. "How would you like this to be the pattern of our wedding rings?"

Taking the ring into her hands, Relena eyed the platinum band's design. There is a rose carved on it, its petals in full bloom and its stem extends halfway into the whole band. It was beautiful. Turning it around to further examine, the princess noticed there was something carved in the inner circle just behind the rose design. With the moonlight as her aide, she read,_ "In rose~"_

"Do you like it?"

Catching her breath, eyes glued to the band, she felt tears prickle her eyes. "I love it."

* * *

~o~

It was a short drive home. They had just arrived at the Darlian Estate and after a quick kiss, Relena reported to her mother, before going to their separate bedrooms.

Taking off Nathan's jacket, which he had offered as the night passed, Relena went out of her room and headed straight for the first door at the left corridor. She knocked twice to no avail. _Maybe he's taking a shower?_

Slowly, quietly, she opened the door and crept inside the room. The door that led to the bathroom was slightly ajar, and she can hear the flow of running water from the shower. Not wanting to bother him, Relena just laid the jacket on the bed and was about to scat until she noticed the piles of papers on the bed. Curiosity getting the best of her, she closed the door and picked up the one at the top of the pile and froze.

When he stepped out of the bathroom clad only with a towel and had found his fiancée in the bedroom holding a piece of paper. At that moment he had no idea who was trembled the most, and he was certain that it was not because of his lack of clothing. And he was even more certain that he had not seen the contrasting coldness in Relena's usually serene blue eyes when she turned to him with fury.

"Where did you get this?" asked Relena softly, trying to contain her composure.

"It's confidential." Nathan sauntered towards the closet and rummaged for something to wear.

"_This _is confidential." Relena clutched the paper tighter, pinning Nathan him with her gaze. Why was he so calm? "This was the errand? Who gave you this information? It's against the rules. It's betrayal."

Even with his back turned to her, he can still feel her eyes boring into him. And this time, no, he will not back down. Finally wearing a blue shirt and sweat pants, Nathan hung the towel by the chair and faced Relena sternly.

"Betrayal," he rolled out the word, emphasizing each syllable. "Why are you so furious with this, Relena?"

"Because." He saw it – the slight hesitation on her part. "It's against the law of the ESUN. Any information about the Gundam pilots had been sequestered to protect their identities. Unearthing this information can have you and those who helped you in jail."

"You will allow me to go to jail?" indicted Nathan, daring to take a step closer. "You'd allow me to go to jail over _that _man's profile? You'd rather protect _his _identity rather than me?"

"That's not what I mean." Relena shook her head. "Don't twist my words, Nathan."

Nathan shrugged. "Am I? I think nothing is to be twisted with your words. You've been so consistent."

"What are you saying?"

"You're a bright woman, Relena. Certainly you've had a clue by now."

"I don't know what you're saying."

"You've always been so consistent." Nathan narrowed his eyes. "Choosing him over me."

Relena gasped, eyes wide with shock. "No!"

"No? Let's go back to your word." Nathan took a few steps to the side, circling her, like a predator calculating the moves to get his prey. He maintained his cool, not blinking. "Betrayal," he continued. Reaching his luggage, Nathan fumbled through his bag and brought out a pair of shirt and boxers. "Tell me, isn't this a sample of it?"

"The house staff brought these in my room," he continued, throwing the clothes in the air and landing softly on the bed, thinking that even in these circumstances, _he _was always in between them. "They said that they found these in your luggage. Of course, who else would own a male shirt and boxers between the two of us, right? The only thing is, I am certain that these are not mine. So, my dear, fiancée, do you mind telling me who really owns these? Or should I make a wild guess instead?"

Before Relena could respond, most probably to defend herself, Nathan didn't allow it. Because he knew that if she started to talk, he will listen to her. As he always did. And he will forgive her. Like he always did. This was the time to talk things through, to finally let it out of his system.

"You know, after that conference in L1, something changed. Something changed in you. Somehow you've returned to being the person when we first met – professional and distant." He went for the kill. "Something happened on that Colony that you're not speaking about."

He gauged her reaction. She was not blinking, just standing, still clutching the paper, and silent. _Still strong. _He had already expected this. That Relena will stand her ground. He was not expecting her to break down in front of him. But somehow, it was what he was hoping for. He could see it in her eyes –the turmoil, the sadness, the anger, the shock – she refused to let go. Why won't she let him hold her? Show him her weakness? Why is she protecting _him?_

_Cry, Relena. _His gaze softened for a fraction of a second. "I had to know. I had to know about him for my peace of mind. I wanted to know who it was that was keeping you from coming to me. You never say anything. Hell, Relena, it's only a few days before the wedding and you're already slipping through my fingers. It was him, wasn't it? The man you went after outside the hotel."

She swallowed, but did not respond. Nathan took a step closer. _Cry. Need me. Lean on me. _"The bear. It was from him. He was a Gundam pilot. He was the hero who shot the falling piece of the _Libra. _He was the pilot who infiltrated the Barton mansion when you were abducted."

"He was your lover." He took a few steps closer. "But he left you. Many times." _Cry, Relena. Cry. _"How can you bear it?"

Relena thought of the times when she will wake up and find notes on her bedside table, telling her that he will be gone for quite sometime. But then she will wake up, too, one day and find him lingering in her room, watching her. _He leaves. But he always comes back, _she wanted to say, if not for Nathan, then at least to convince herself.

"He left you. He hurt you. Why do you still want him? What does he have that I don't? I want to know."

If there was one thing that she was sure of in their relationship, it was Nathan who was not the one who's lacking. And this what she had dreaded. "Don't think that, Nathan."

"You're still in love with him."

It was her sharp intake of breath that convinced Nathan that he did not really need to hear the words. His brows creased. "Did you both rekindle your love in L1?" he said icily, now standing in front of Relena so closely their breaths overlapped. "Did he kiss you? Touch you? Did he make promises that you'll look forward to when he returns?" In one swift move, Nathan grabbed the paper that Relena was holding and that contained the personal profile of Heero Yuy. He crushed the paper in his hands and threw it across the room. "How can you love someone like him? For heaven's sake, he's sick, Relena!"

"Stop!" snapped Relena, fists clenched. "I have no excuses for my actions. It was unfair for you, and you won't believe how sorry I am for bringing you into my selfish mess. I'm sorry for everything. But you have to know that I didn't have any communication with him prior to that L1 visit. Everything was coincidental. And look, I am here now. Not in L1. I chose you, Nathan." Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears as she looked at his emerald green eyes. "Nevertheless, you have no right to call him sick."

"But that's what he is." Nathan cocked his head to the side. "That's why he left the Preventers, right? Because his body and abilities were dwindling down that he cannot perform his duties properly anymore."

More than bemused, Relena narrowed her eyes. "What are you saying?"

"You didn't know about his illness?" Nathan motioned to the bed. "Didn't he tell you? It was on his Preventers file. It was even on his medical records."

In an instant, Relena was on the bed, rummaging through the files. "Why?" a soft cry escaped from her lips.

Finding Heero's medical records, her eyes hovered on the paper while Nathan placed his hands on her shoulders, for what? Comfort? She didn't even knowing that she was shaking profusely until he held her.

"I'm sorry. I thought you knew," said Nathan, looking beyond her figure, into the file of Heero Yuy.

"He never said anything," she whispered, still reading through the file. Was it the reason why he left more often? Why didn't anyone tell her anything? Une knew._ He's sick. _Those two words were on replay in her mind. Why did he run off to fight this illness alone? Why didn't he tell her? A thousand questions ran in her mind, anger surfaced, regret overflowed. Why didn't_ she_ notice anything?

Sensing the unsaid questions in her head, Nathan held her tighter, "It's for the best, Relena. He knows your role in the Earth Sphere. And he doesn't want to be a burden. Hell, he doesn't even look well at the airport. You have to let him fight his own battles."

At his words, Relena whirled around to face him. "You spoke to him?" _Airport?_

Nathan nodded. "At the airport. When you were talking to his friend at the airport entrance, I went ahead. And he was there. He gave me his blessings."

"What?" said Relena, incredulous. How can Heero be there? Why didn't he talk to her instead? "What did he tell you?" she demanded, her tone rising. "And how do you mean by he gave his blessings?"

Nathan closed his eyes, recalling that moment when his rival in love had confronted him. Looking back, the man named Heero looked weary for a strong Gundam pilot who had so-called saved Earth.

"He told me to take care of you." Nathan opened his eyes, locking it with Relena's cerulean ones.

"What else?" demanded Relena.

Nathan closed his eyes. "He said that coffee doesn't keep you awake, instead it's a good drink to make you sleep. He said that you're fond of surprises, and leaving notes on your bedside table eases your discomfort. That your favourite color is blue, not pink. And that the only flowers you're not allergic to are roses, and it's a habit of yours to have them in your room. He told me a great deal about you." Things, Nathan thought, that he should have known by himself without the aid of someone from the past.

_After all this time. _Tears flowed freely from her eyes. There was just too much to absorb. So many things revealed that she couldn't put a finger on. She wanted to lash out at Heero for hiding things from her, the Preventers from not saying anything, at herself for not noticing anything, from bringing Nathan into all this.

So she sobbed in his arms. "I'm sorry, Nathan. So, so sorry."

"Hush." Nathan held her gently until her crying ceased. Though a part of him was guilty that he had brought all these information upon her and dreaded that he will still lose her after all this, there was a part of him that delighted in the fact that she had finally let him hold her, to cry in his arms, to shed off her strong persona, that she was just like any other woman who falls in love and gets her heart broken multiple times.

When Relena was all out of tears, she sniffed against his shirt and looked up at Nathan. "I'm sorry." Nathan was about to reply, but she placed a finger on his lips. Determination was evident in her eyes. "Hear me out. You've been amazing, Nathan. So amazing that I didn't want to hurt you, tell you... that. Please don't blame yourself. You don't have to forgive me. I cheated on you in L1. And... I don't think I can still be your bride anymore." She kissed him briefly before pulling away and getting off the bed.

"You have to know that I loved you, too." She looked at her knotted hands. "But I also have to do this for my piece of mind." Backing away, she tried hard to ignore the hurt in Nathan's expression. It was what she had been avoiding all along. To see him hurt because of her. But, she told herself, that it was for the best to end it now than to extend the suffering in their matrimony.

Before leaving the room, she said, "Don't wait for me."

* * *

~o~

**Author's Note:**

Hi all! Sorry for this late update. So many things happened in the past few months, including a dear friend passing away, so writing has been really difficult to start.

When I was writing this piece, I realized that one of the reasons why I have prolonged this story was because I became too attached with Nathan to the point that I also don't want Relena breaking up with him. :))) Anyhoo, I've been dragging this story too much, and with that, I think it's safe to say that there's gonna be only ONE chapter left for this.

A big thanks to you guys for keeping up with this. This story means a lot to me, and your feedbacks have been great motivations for my GW fiction-writing. Much love to all! :)

P.S.

BoA english translation credits to kiwi-musume. :)


	13. Back to Your Heart

**Chapter 13: Back to Your Heart**

"_It's not that I can't live without you  
__It's just that I don't even want to try  
__Every night I dream about you  
__Ever since the day we said goodbye  
__If I wasn't such a fool  
__Right now I'd be holding you  
__There's nothin' that I wouldn't do  
__Baby if I only knew~"_

Back to Your Heart by the Backstreet Boys

~o~

* * *

This is getting nowhere. Everything aches. My knuckles are turning white as I grip these bars on either side of me just so I can get on my knees properly. My knees have been uncooperative lately –getting numb at first, then it shakes violently- and I always end up falling face first on the floor. My arms won't even respond to aid my falls. My head is spinning. I could even barely stand. Damn it.

I close my eyes, searching for anything that can remind me that there is still something worth living for. Two things stood out among the rest. One of which is a stellar image of the universe – of the scattered stars, of Space, of Earth. As for the second one? The person who holds together the Earth Sphere.

I picture her long, golden hair reflected in the sun as she collects the roses in her parents' mansion. I picture the soft crease of her brow whenever she contemplates the Bills that she has been reviewing in the Senate. I picture her balled fist that she uses whenever she tries to emphasize her point during debates, and how it trembles when she's nervous as she places it on her chest. Those are the same hands I used to hold when we make our way through the crowd of paparazzi for every conference and business meetings. I can still feel her hands when she used to squeeze mine, seeking for assurance, and I squeeze it back that can go as much as saying, "I'd do anything for you."

I see her eyes, her eyes that possess the color and depth of the ocean, where her emotions lay as she works through the day with a different façade. Those eyes that refuse to leak, not even once, even during the most trying times, except when it concerned me.

I hear her voice. The authoritative, but soft tone of it that always wins the favour of the people of the Earth Sphere. In my memories, I hear her giggle when I used to kiss her on that sensitive spot below her ear. I hear her soft whisper in the dark when she admits that she's nervous about a debate on the following day. I listen as she calls my name, or borrowed name, just to make sure that I haven't left. I hear her telling me that she loves me. Only that, I couldn't even find my own voice to say it back, no matter how much I wanted to respond. Because I'm too fucked up for her.

I remember her voice above anything else, so vividly. It always makes me feel that she's not too far away even though we're light years apart. That voice that has saved me more than I could count. Like waking me up from a daze as I was falling from a 50-ft building with a parachute that I have pulled out a little too late. And all she did was call my name.

It is amazing how a voice, or simply just a memory of it, can help keep a person go on. Just like that, I have found a new surge of strength inside.

Just.

"Heero?"

I know I said that her voice is the most vivid memory that I have of her. But this time, it is louder and it feels even much real, like she is actually here with me. I try to capture as much of it as I can, the way a kid catches a colorful butterfly in its hand, closing his fists around it, afraid that it will be blown away. But then I hear my name again, louder this time. And… closer.

When I open my eyes, I am greeted with the ocean-colored orbs that I have just been remembering. Though this time, there are a myriad of emotions that are swimming in it. There is a raging tsunami. There I see anger, confusion, hurt, relief, and softness in there. I don't miss the redness of it, too. Swollen and already dried. I caused that. I always do. It kills me when I see her like that. I take note of the dark circles under her eyes. But she still looks so damn beautiful. Even the fragmented memories can't do her justice.

It is only when she is walking towards me, with the sound of her heels clicking on the tiled-floor, that she calls my name again, as if assuring herself over and over again that she's not in the wrong room with the wrong person. But then again, I _am _wrong in many ways possible.

When her voice fills the room and my head, I am still in denial whether this is a dream or not. That it cannot be possible that my thoughts have just miraculously conjured her. That this cannot be because based from my last update, she should be in Japan where her wedding will take place in a few days. With a different man.

And how did she find me here? More than that, she _knows. _Shit. She can't see me like this. I have done everything to prevent this from happening.

She continues to inch closer until she is standing just directly in front of me. So close. I am about to ask myself if this is a dream until her hand slapped my cheek so hard I know it will redden. A mark of my punishment. I deserve that.

It stings. And that's when I knew that this is reality in the raw. I am even much convinced when tears start to form in her eyes and her voice is trembling when she says, "How could you?"

And then it doesn't sting anymore. It goddamn wounds.

~o~

* * *

Relena immediately withdrew her hand the moment it made contact with his skin… his face. She balled it into a fist and laid it on her chest, clutching on her cardigan as if she might fall. She stood, looking at _him _from head to toe. She took him in – wearing a hospital gown, holding on to two bars while standing on a mat, looking like he had not slept in days with his unruly hair, lines on his temples, and the dark circles under his eyes. But his eyes, his eyes, though wary, had never lost the intensity that it had always possessed.

"How did you know?" he asked in his trademark monotonous tone of voice.

"In the worst case possible. Why didn't you tell me?" was her accusatory response, ignoring the two female nurses and male physical therapist in the room who have were too shocked for their own good that the Vice Foreigner Minister was in the hospital and had just hit their patient.

Recovering from the shock, a petite blonde nurse gained back her composure, clutched the clipboard tightly, and approached the politician. "Miss Darlian, excuse us, but Mr. Yuy is currently taking his therapy. You may see him later when he has finished in the afternoon."

Relena didn't stop looking at Heero, but managed to soften her voice. "Yes, of course. I apologize."

Heero watched Relena's back as she made her way towards the door. Then she suddenly turned to him. "I'm not going anywhere. And don't you dare leave without giving me answers. You owe me that much."

~o~

* * *

Just when she thought that finding and confronting him could unlock this box full of secrets, she found herself alone... again, wandering through _his _home Colony, the very Colony where he had found her _again, _and the very place where they parted _again. _

She reminded herself to thank Quatre for arranging a quick flight to L1 and also for arranging her stay at a hotel his family owns. The moment she left her mansion, including her fiancé, she knew she had to go to L1 for answers without alerting the media and worrying her mother by taking off on her own. Thanks also to her friend and his massive connections in all of Space, they also managed to track down which hospital _he _was in. Thank god for good friends in the right places. It'd be totally nice if it worked for (ex)boyfriends, too.

Wrapping her cardigan tighter around her, she put on her shades – better stay low profile without her security team. Wandering in L1, the city was alive. Cars rustled and bustled on a busy afternoon, store doors opened and closed with merry customers, and little children played at the public playground she happened to pass by. Seeing everything incurred a small smile from her. At least the Earth Sphere was doing pretty well.

Sitting down in one of the swing sets in the playground, Relena basked in the joyful squeals of the children, with their mothers chatting side by side on the bench a few feet away. In front of her, the sun was starting to set over the horizon, painting the sky with orange, purple, and gray hues. It was beautiful to miss so she removed her sunglasses. It always amazed her how the people who made the Colony manage to really replicate Earth. Even the sunset effect was almost real.

She held on to the swing and began to rock it slightly, causing screeching sounds. Now that she had seen Heero, what now? When she left Earth, shaken and appalled by how she got hold of the vital information of _him, _all she ever wanted was to head straight to him, to confront, and to make sure that he will never think of leaving again, of having to go all through this alone.

But when she had entered the room, upon seeing him, holding onto bars for balance wearing a white hospital gown, her feet were stuck in place. She prepared herself for such sight – her protector, the strongest man she had ever met- sick and holding on to the bars as if his life depended on it; perhaps it did. There was a firm resolve she possessed due in part to believing that everything was a lie, a fabrication. In the plane, all kinds of scenarios played in her head as she tried to come out with the perfect words to say to him, to make everything hit him with sense.

But it was true. What now? It was like the rug was pulled out of her feet when she saw him, casting her disbelief aside. There were so many questions she had to ask, but words were caught up in her throat. She wanted answers. She wanted resolution. She wanted him to come to her. She wanted to help him. There were too much damned words waiting to be said aloud, but they wouldn't come out. So the building emotion only made its way to her hands and feet, hitting him, conveying the hurt of being not told, of being left, and hurting other people in the process.

Her mindless swinging went on until the only sounds left in the park were the squeak of the swing and her feet kicking the ground. The sun had set by now and stars were dotting the sky. The children and their mothers had gone home, as well.

She put much force on her kick on the ground in order to send the swing higher and higher. Feeling the breeze sweep around her, she closed her eyes and basked at the almost carefree feel of the act, like a child who had not yet been exposed to the brutality of life. For a while she stopped kicking and just let the swing move until it slowed. She opened her eyes, breathing in the scent of roses wrapping around her. Where the heck were the roses in this area?

When her swing was immobile, she stood up, feet firmly planted on the ground while still holding on to the hanger. She was about to let go for another round until she was halted by someone gripping the edge of the swing. Panic was about to consume her until the stranger behind her called her name.

She knew that voice. Turning her head slightly to look at the man behind her, she gasped as she noticed just how their faces were to each other. Prussian eyes clashed with cerulean ones. And that face. Even when sick he still had to look too damn attractive in his own quiet way that floored her. His gaze was focused on her so much that she can fully see herself in his eyes, but his expression was impassive as always. Suddenly feeling self-conscious under his scrutiny, her gaze dropped to his lips… which was another part of his anatomy that threw her mind in high level entropy.

She swallowed hard and managed to utter, "Why are you here? You should be in the hospital." When he didn't answer, Relena looked back up at him. "Say something. Anything." She did not have the strength to control the hurt in her voice.

His look softened a bit and his hands moved down to place over hers. It was only when she realized that his whole body was standing pressed behind her, but there was still a huge wall between them to overcome.

_So near yet so far. _She flinched when their hands touched as his warmth filled her senses. How she missed this. Him.

He tightened his hold on her hand and said, "Come with me."

~o~

* * *

"This is nice," remarked Relena when she leaned on the railing of the ferry, facing the water. Who would have thought that they also created rivers of this sort in Colonies?

As the ferry cruised, Relena marvelled at how the city looked like with all the lights illuminating the evening. The breeze blew her hair in one direction; a chill ran down her spine and had her breathing in deeply. Behind her, there were about a dozen other people enjoying the short trip up to the other side of the city.

"There's one hour until the nurses come back to my room," said Heero, his back leaning onto the railing with his arms spread, gripping the railings to steady himself.

Relena turned to him, his outstretched hand barely touched her arm resting on the railing. She looked at him, taking note of his green long-sleeved top and jeans. He was looking at her, again, so intently she was out of words again. How does he manage to do that every single time? Relena had also taken note of how weary he looked; that somewhere along his handsome face, he looked like he had aged a bit, the circles under his eyes were bigger, and the lines on his temples getting even more prominent. It was like she was punched at the gut to actually think about how he had been all along… alone. Or did his teammates knew about his condition?

"I suppose you want answers," he initiated, the water lapping beneath them.

"It's what I came here for."

Heero sighed and diverted his gaze in front of him where three girls were taking group photos on the opposite side. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything. Tell me about your sickness."

"It's the type of disease that affects the nervous system. The immune system attacks the myelin sheath of my nervous system, which causes me to lose my reflexes; my body goes numb, and everything just goes uncontrollably shaky and weak," he explained, still looking ahead.

Relena eyed Heero from head to toe before settling on the hands that gripped the railing. He was gripping too hard that his knuckles almost turned white. She wanted to hold him but restrained herself. "What's the cause?"

"Its cause is still unknown."

"How long have you had this?"

"I started feeling the numbness two weeks before I began ignoring you. I consulted with Sally when my balancing starts to get off. That's when we knew something was wrong. And it was getting worse. _I _was getting worse, the shaking that led to paralysis later on. Sally gave me meds that can prevent them for a while."

Heero continued, "Une spoke with me. Rules are rules. I had to get help. I had to be cured. So I was discharged. Une insisted that I take their offer to fund the treatment so I can go back to the Preventers as much as possible. It was the only thing I agreed to with them. I didn't want anyone to babysit me. Everything was confidential. So I took on the opportunity to study, as well."

Relena was reeling, digesting the information. How could she have not noticed? "What's the worst that can happen?"

"Paralysis." He paused. "There are also cases that lead to death. It happens when the muscle weakness affects the heart rate and…"

"Is it curable?" Relena cut him off, controlling her voice, preventing it from breaking. Just the word death already made her dead cold.

He faced her again. "It is. We're working on it. Physical therapies and medication." She was just about to sigh in relief when he added, "But it returns."

"What?"

"There are some cases wherein patients are fully cured, while there are others who do not fully recover. There are times when the numbness and weak balancing returns. But I'm still working on it. The doctors have high hopes for my condition with the ongoing treatment."

"How long?"

"Recovery lasts up to 6 months. Sometimes even longer. Years. I still don't know. I've been on and off from the hospital."

"Why?"

"School."

Relena nodded, locking her eyes with him. "You look fine."

"My trainings as a soldier come in handy in combating the physical handicaps. It was also the reason why I joined the track and field team. Just so I can keep my muscles moving."

"Who takes care of you?"

"I take care of myself." He ran a hand through his hair. "Don't look at me like that."

The princess removed her hands from the railing and fully faced him. "What kind of face would you like me to put on?"

"I don't want your pity."

"I care, Heero," she answered, taking another step closer. "So _this _is why you really left?"

He faced her growing fury without flinching. "It is in the code of the Preventers and in the military that if an individual is disabled, he is no longer fit to serve. He must be discharged."

"You know this is just isn't about you leaving the Preventers."_You left me. _"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't let you see me in that state. The way you're looking at me right now. I especially didn't want to see that. And I can't protect you if I'm disabled."

His reasons being about her as just a politician were getting on her skin. "I don't need protection." _I need you. _ "And it was you all along who needed to be watched. You could've told me."

"You have a very important position in the Earth Sphere. Too much baggage on your shoulders and I don't want to add to that. I didn't want to be a burden. You're being strong for everyone. I didn't want you to do that to me, too."

"You still could've told me. And that would have been my decision; it is not for you to decide on who is being a burden in my life or not. Stop using my work against me for you walking out on me!" She had to keep her emotions at bay, pushing back her tears by allowing her anger to take over. In that instant, she thought of Nathan. Of Nathan confessing that Heero came up to him to _hand her over _to him. Of Nathan waiting loyally inside the hotel when she ran for Heero before saying goodbye. Not only had he walked out on her, but he also had the guts to give her away to someone else. And he wanted to fight this disease alone.

His silence killed her. She sighed in defeat. Her balled fist rested on her chest. "I told you before that I like worrying about you. It's part of the package of falling in love with you. You can't escape that. I understand that you wouldn't like to be looked at this way, but that isn't what I want, Heero. I want to see both your good _and _bad side. You at your best and at your worst. I'll always be here for you. It doesn't matter if you're with me or not, I still worry."

She looked up at the stars. "Is it going to be an endless cycle? When I first you saw you on the beach, it was mere coincidence. An accident. When you showed up in my school the following day, I then had a feeling. A feeling that maybe meeting you wasn't just coincidence. There was something significant about it." Relena rested her arms on the railings again, staring at the water that reflected the moon. "When the war had totally gone out of control and crazy, our paths still managed to cross. It was as if, no matter how far we were from each other, light years apart, we still manage to find one another.

But then, those encounters had always been brief. In an instant, you were gone. And then there you were again. When does it end? When does it happen that we just… meet. We meet and just stay like this forever? Why are we always pulled apart? Heck, if you're going to leave then just leave. Bring everything with you." She faced him. "You know why? 'Cause I still see you everywhere. I can't even sleep at night without remembering you doing your rounds and knocking on my door. You're still damn everywhere, as if you were mocking me that I can't escape your ghost!"

Relena yelped when strong arms pulled her, crushing her against his wall of a chest. Heero wrapped his arms around her tightly. He bent his head and nuzzled his face on her hair, taking in her scent. The scent of roses. He pulled her against him even tighter, but not enough to hurt her, his back still resting against the railing.

This. This was why he had always pushed her away. There was just too much at stake. His illness, depending on the level and intensity, could be a permanent handicap and if the odds weren't in their favour, he could die. As much as he didn't want to leave her, if ever his illness consumed him, his permanent departure from the world could bring her an even irreparable damage. He wished he could let her understand that he was saving her from a bigger heartache.

But as he held her, another fear crept up. He knew that when she was close, _this _close, he would find it hard to let go. That instead of letting go, he would cling to her as if his life depended on it. Or maybe it already did since they met. Now that he was holding her, he couldn't believe that it had only been weeks since she had crashed in his apartment and had shared a bittersweet night together. There was also that gnawing feeling inside him as he thought of all the places and corners of Space and the Earth Sphere that he had been through just to get by. But now he realized that it was only in Relena's arms where he truly felt at home and loved.

Just then, Relena also wrapped her arms around his neck and settled her cheek against his shoulder. How many nights had she dreamed of this moment? She missed this. So much it ached. Everything ached. How could she have managed to say "Yes" with someone else when she was still madly in love with the man who has saved her life more than she could count?

"How are you holding up?" _Are you going to die? _she asked, closing her eyes, bracing herself for an honest, heartbreaking answer.

"I'm fighting." Heero tightened his hold on her, resting his cheek at the top of her head. "I've escaped death countless times. I can't lose to this one now."

"Why?"

"I'm still fighting because you're still in this world. I'm fighting so I can keep on protecting you." He held her tighter and whispered. "I'm sorry."

Relena shook her head. "I read your letters."

Heero lifted his head and pulled away from her slightly to look at her face. His brows creased. How the hell did she get those letters?

"You said someday when we meet again we can dance beneath the stars."

For the first time that night, the stoic mask that Heero had always put up withered away. Without the mask, his gaze was filled with a longing she had not seen in his before. There was depth and tender affection stretching between them. He then took Relena's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of her hand which made her whole body tingle. Later on he was spinning her around without letting go. She stepped back from him and returned to his arms. For a few good minutes, there were just them on the ferry, dancing and laughing. The other tourists did not matter. The ferry approaching the harbour did not matter. The past did not matter. The inevitable future did not matter.

"None of the therapies can compare to this," said Heero, once more leaning against the railing as he wrapped his arms around Relena's waist. He breathed in her scent – roses, her favourite – and marvelled at how _much _better he had been since spending three weeks of treatment in the hospital. The difference her presence makes to his condition still amazed him.

"Let me in," uttered Relena against his chest, gripping his arms. "No more secrets, please."

"You are already inside."

"Don't push me away again."

"I only bring you tears."

"That's 'cause you're being a stuck-up, stubborn prick."

Heero smirked as he ran a hand down Relena's hair. "And I make you say bad words."

"'Cause you're being a stuck-up, stubborn prick!" repeated Relena, her voice tinged with exasperation and amusement.

"You're getting used to that."

"Took a lot of practice."

"To say that to me?"

Relena pulled away to look at him. "Reserved only for you."

Heero's smirk vanish, his eyes were serious. "What about your fiancé?"

Relena's face fell. "I ended things with him."

The look in her eyes conveyed a silent plea to not elaborate any further. That if they were to talk about the details of it now, she would break, to which he understood. Instead he lifted his hand and brushed the bangs from her forehead. "I missed you."

By ignoring and leaving her so she could be happy with someone else, he thought he was doing the right thing. Now with everything they've been through, for every tear shed, for every wasted moment in arguing instead of loving, for the first time ever, Heero admitted that everything was the other way around. They needed to be together.

Despite his reluctance to let her see how weak he had become and he will still become, she still wanted to be with him, wanted to share his pain, wanted everything to do with him. And he had fallen deeper in love with her for it. There was also a profound sense of liberty now that she knew all about his condition. As much as he had done it, he hated keeping things from her.

Moving his hands down from her forehead to her flushed cheeks. He traced her jawline with his index finger, her hair blowing in the wind. His finger moved further down, as if trying to recall and remember every detail about her, to see if he had missed anything. He stilled when his fingers reached out at the silver chain around her neck.

The tender look in Heero's eyes vanished and Relena she realized that she was still wearing the chain that held the latest ring that Nathan had given her. She tried to step back but Heero didn't let her as he clung onto the band on the chain.

"Where did you get this?" he asked, turning it over so that the platinum band reflected the moonlight.

"Nathan gave it. He wanted to pattern our wedding rings with the design." Shaking her head, she said, "I forgot I still have this thing on. I'll…"

"Where did he get this?"

"From a store. I… I don't know which." She was suddenly jittery under Heero's scrutiny. It was like she had been caught stealing cookies from a jar. Wait, was this cheating? On his part? Or Nathan's part?

Soon, Heero's lips curved up into a smile as he let out a deep sigh. His smile was dazzling. It'd been a long time she last saw his smile. The effect made her forget how to breathe.

"What's amusing you?"

Heero turned the ring over so that the moon's light can let him see the words written inside. "The carving."

"In rose." Relena's eyes snapped at him.

Their gazes locked onto each other; the recognition was there, it was palpable.

_Our secret._

Heero nodded. "We were light years apart and this still made its way to you." He put his hand in his jeans pocket and brought out another ring similar to the one on Relena's chain. "I had this made years ago. I planned to… but you know what happened. So I sold this at a store here." He inserted the ring in his ring finger. "The ring was bought and made its way to Earth. Made its way to you – the original owner. Even my letters reached you."

Relena grasped the band chained on her neck as tears were falling freely from her eyes, reeling from everything that she had come to know. Heero. It was Heero who had this made… years ago. Did he mean that at that time he was already thinking about a future with her? And this. She was right all along, she can't escape him. He was everywhere. He was far away from her and yet still around her.

He was all there is for her. And it turns out, she was all there is for him.

"You're my miracle." Heero reached for her face and wiped the tears away, kissing her forehead, temple, and cheeks in the process. Relena had been right all along, their meeting was significant. No matter where they go or what they do, they will always be inextricably connected. His letters said the same things. They were made for each other. And even if they get married with someone else, their souls and hearts will remain tangled. They knew that by now.

Just then the ferry had docked at the harbour and Heero once again gripped the railings, his back against it, and he was straining to straighten his legs. He closed his eyes at the effort, brows creasing and beads of sweat formed at his temples.

"Are you okay? You should go back to the hospital," said Relena as she went to his side.

"I'm okay. I just have to take my meds." He clenched his fist in hopes of lessening his growingly shaking hand. "Can I crash at your place?"

"How about the nurses?"

"They're used to my absences. I can always go back tomorrow."

Relena eyed Heero's shaking hands and his wobbly knees. "No, Heero. You should…"

A kiss from Heero silenced her as much as surprising her. When he pulled away, he looked at her straight in the eyes. "Your place. That's all I ever want to be in."

"Heero…"

They alighted from the ferry when Heero had finally gotten his bearings. He reached for her and squeezed her hand. "It will be hard."

"I know. It's okay." Relena squeezed back his own trembling ones. "Fight it with me."

Heero dipped his head to meet her lips just in time when a shooting star flashed across the sky. "I love you."

And he can conquer every obstacle thrown his way.

~o~

* * *

_It's already been a year and a half since Heero came back with me to Earth. Finally, he told me everything about what he went through and the illness that he is still fighting against. But this time he conceded that we'll fight it together. To be honest, I was surprised that he agreed so easily to leave L1 to come home with me. We've had a Preventer agent assigned to take care of Heero's school and medical records so he can have his courses credited when he resumes school here. His condition is still known to very limited staff of the Preventers. For the past year he stayed confined in the hospital with all the IVs hooked up for faster recovery. Now he's getting better. He's on medication, but he is fine without the IVs. The therapies are being done at home. The worst that he is getting right now is the off balancing. But the numbness, paralysis, and extraneous shaking aren't happening anymore. His doctors are commending his progressive healing, saying that he'll be as good as new in a month or so. When that happens, he can serve in the Preventers again and at the same time finish his degree._

_As for me? My term as Vice Foreign Minister just ended a few months ago as you may have heard about. I'm currently enrolled in a university, also aiming for a college degree. After this, it is only when I will decide if I will return to politics again. I probably will. I may never get it out of my system, like I still have to fulfil my duties to the people and see to it that total pacifism is achieved. I drafted the Disarmament Bill after all, and spearheaded the Mars Terraformation Project. I'll keep tabs on my projects, but for now I also aim to just attend school, to live like a normal school girl again._

_How about you? I read that your restaurant chain and hotel business are opening up more branches in the L2 Colony! That's great! I'm glad that things are turning out well for you._

_Hey, Nathan, are you still mad at me? I bet you are. And I would be surprised if you aren't. I knew you were just being nice, as you always were, when I dropped by your house to face your parents when I'd just returned to Earth with Heero. I'm sorry for making your mother cry. I'm sorry for wasting your father's time. And most importantly, I'm sorry for hurting you. You deserved far better than that. There was absolutely nothing wrong with you. Everything's on me. I'm sorry I couldn't meet your efforts halfway._

_You have to know that I loved you, too. You made me happy in ways I never thought possible. You are a beautiful person in and out, Nathan. I'm glad I met you. I'm blessed to have been given the privilege to be loved by you. I hope you're okay. I still care. I will always care. Please don't forget that._

_I know this is selfish, but I'd like to see you again. Maybe we can try to catch up? I really don't want to lose our friendship at least. Attached to this letter is the invitation for my birthday. You can bring Amber along, too, if you want. I heard that you've been seeing her since you attended a press conference in should also know me by now that I get what I want. I won't take your "No" for an answer. When or if you're ready to talk to me, you can always reach me._

_Thank you for everything, Nathan. I wish you all the best and I hope to see you soon._

_Sincerely Yours,_

_Relena_

~o~

* * *

"What are you thinking?"

Strong hands adjusted her silky robe before his arms wrapped around her from behind, feeling the warmth of skin even through her silky nightgown despite the chilly weather of the night. Relena let herself lean on his well-built body – a body that was still capable of staying strong, withstanding everything thrown his way. The scent of the body wash and shampoo indicated that he had just finished taking a shower after taking a jog, or a run, for an hour.

"That it's amazing that there are millions of people living in the Colonies and yet, I was still the first person who saw you when you landed on Earth." She placed her arms on his that were wrapped around her waist, and looked up at the starry sky. "That I want more moments like this."

Heero spun her around to face him. She melted at the sight of his rare smile, more so when he began to spin her around on the balcony, dipping her, and pulling her back to him. "Didn't you know? You're my other half."

And they continued to dance beneath the blanket of stars with the surrounding lingering scent of roses that were in full bloom.

~o~

* * *

"_C__ome on, time to go__  
__The new world is calling us__  
__Hey, don't you see__  
__We'll always be there for each other__  
__No matter how many seas separate us__  
__Don't be afraid of what's ahead__  
__Because don't forget__  
__We fight together~"_

Fight together by Namie Amuro

~o~

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hello! So with this chapter, I now officially declare Soul Mates – complete! I'm so sorry it took this long to be completed. I was aiming for this to be up before May ends, but yeah, time constraints.

This story means a lot to me. I started this in 2011 and went on to last for two years wherein so many changes in my life transpired. And I noticed that even my writing has changed in the course of finishing this fic. So in between the lines, there are also stories within.

I hope this is a good enough ending. I originally planned for a bittersweet ending for Heero and Relena, like really considering for Heero to die. But when I think about you guys sticking with the story for two years, I figured that you guys deserve to read a happy ending. :)

For the selling of ring part, that's the significance of the last scene in Chapter 10. Also, Heero's disease in this story is a legit one, but revised it a bit. I just honestly forgot its name since it has a not-so-easy-spelling to remember.

My next project will be the completion of Love Game. I also have a lot of ideas in store for another multi-chaptered fanfic, but since the school year in our country has just begun, I don't think I can commit in starting one asap. So maybe, yeah, I'll have one-shots up from time to time and also for Love Game. Let's see what happens. :)

So there. I want to thank every reader and every reviewer who took the time to go over the thirteen chapters of Soul Mates, or maybe just a few chapters. Haha. It's been a fun journey with you all! Really. Like I said, this story means a lot to me. And it's been a privilege to share this journey with you guys! :)

Alrighty then! Until my next output!

Take care always!

Love,

Lady-Rinoa

P.S.

Fight Together English translation credits to JpopAsia.


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